The gift of fear - triggering

Another thought: I hope this idea doesn't either get misunderstood as victim blaming or used as ammunition by the victim-blamers.

That's really interesting. Thank you for sharing.

I think the message that women are socialised out of listening and acting on their instincts is so true.

I read it a few years ago and was shocked (as someone who wouldn't class themselves as having been in too many sexually violent situations, thankfully) at how much it resonated with me. It also brought back some memories.

I think it's so important to reinforce women's intuition and validate their feelings. Society in general overrides women's feelings in so many ways. It's a big part of feminism to help women realise that their feelings, whether its anger, resentment or fear are understandable and there for a reason.

There was a thread on here recently (I hope the OP won't mind me bringing it up) where the woman got out of a taxi because she felt uncomfortable with the driver. A number of people were telling her she was wrong and "he was just being friendly" . In that chapter you've linked to, Kelly felt uncomfortable from the moment she heard the man's voice. There was a reason for that. And there was a reason the woman got out of the taxi. Well done her.

Sounds interesting! I saw a gp as a teen and was talking to him about an unpleasant incident, and my intuition that it was going to happen. He told me that I should always trust my intuition and it was there for a reason. Amazingly useful advice that I'm glad I got at such a young age.
Yes, girls are socialised so much to rationalise intuition away, it is dangerous.

Just read the article and it resonated so strongly. I think I've had a couple of lucky escapes in the past - a feeling that something was 'off' about a person or situation. I was brought up to be 'good, nice, polite' and the thing which enabled me to listen to my intuition, strangely, was growing up in a family where there was an interest in alternative forms of spirituality/woo. It was acknowledged that intuition was powerful and a message from protective spirit and should be heeded. I was young at the time too and the combined effects of being polite and deferring to authority could have been enough to override that intuition if I hadn't also internalised a belief that it was important. I don't there is anything woo about intuition now - it's just part of our survival mechanism.

I read an article about it on a FB blog recently (possibly A Mighty Girl) and clicked through to Amazon, but the reviews put me off a bit, I'm having a bit of an anxious phase at the moment and worried it wouldn't help. I've bookmarked it to read one day though.

I'm reading it at the moment. It's really interesting and I can identify lots of things that I do, and all my peers do, that could potentially leave us vulnerable. It is definitely a socialisation thing, not wanting to cause a scene, wanting to be "nice" a lot of the time.

i recently read it, and would totally recommend it for a not specifically feminist read that nonetheless has a very strong feminist message. much of it is about how we, particularly women, -are socialised out of listening to our instincts and how damaging that is. since i read it, i have really tried to listen when my instinct is telling me something, and not to let it get overridden by social conditioning.

I haven't read the book, but I've just read the article and it sounds interesting, and I think I agree with the starting point that we need to trust our intuition more. Generally speaking, women are conditioned to say yes, and the British are conditioned to be polite, mustn't cause a fuss, don't want to upset anyone. Sometimes we need to feel confident to not care what someone might think of us if it means we keep safe