I think everyday sexism is getting worse

Prawn.

Yy, both ways too - older are "past it" and younger are "naive". Both get the

There is quite a bit of ageism on MN as well (as there is in society at large, of course), and it's almost always directed at women, ranging from mild comments to actual slurs, almost always tossed out quite casually.

Shame on the lot of you!

it's a very long bench and it's great fun.

Joins Panda on the "downfall of society" bench.

Whereas as a never married single parent I am the downfall of society!

The medieval church viewed widows as the perfect woman, Prawn. Even they realised we couldn't all be virgins, so a widow who had done her bit by procreating but then lived a virtuous single life was pretty ideal. You'd have thought society might have moved on a bit since then, eh?

Agree it's getting worse

I used to always describe myself as a widow. For some reason widows are more respectable than lone parents. I was ashamed of using other people's prejudice for my benefit but when the boys were small and life was tough I'd take any advantage going.

Thanks for the kindness re my loss. I was very lucky to have had such a lovely man but, although I still miss him, it was a long time ago now.

, Prawn

I remember an ex boyfriend (who brought up his two sons on his own) saying that society treats single dads like heroes and single mums with the default assumption that they're feckless scroungers who've somehow failed. It's terrible (he thought it was terrible too!)

fantastic

I would like that too, so once I've committed, bought my ticket, I'll be in touch.

I would like that - I don't have any real life feminist friends - well not in my daily physical life anyway, and I am going on my own. We need a signal :)

I will be looking very tired and hungover - with a large coffee or 2. Not my usual state but my best friend is leaving the UK forever and it is her leaving party the night before.

Thank you Bemore. I might be there too. Went to one in July. It was totally brilliant. I said I'd report back to FWR but managed to arrive v late, forget nearly everything specific that was said and was completely incapable of providing a decent summary.

If I decide to go perhaps we could meet up.

Sorry for your loss Prawn - I find a lot of the school Mums are like that too. Very depressing.

In lighter news, a woman rang my doorbell on Saturday and declared herself to be the "postman".

Sometimes every little baby step is important.

I'm with imwith and andinto in perceiving a widespread attitude that women have done as well as we can expect, and that insisting on true equality, let alone the liberation of women, we're being greedy and/or petty.

Like a lot of women I was radicalized by motherhood. I thought feminism had achieved most of its aims. Then I had a baby and realised that from roots to tip, it's still a man's world.

Never understood women who blame the OW. It's not her who's let you down. Seems so childish

Feminist Activism
London - venue TBA
Saturday 24th September

www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/feminist-activism-tickets-21488830671

I have a Very Important Party the night before and expect to be at least partially ruined, but I will be there.

The worrying thing is many people make sexist remarks without even realising it, especially some women.

I agree with the poster who said that there's a general feeling in society that women have made as much progress as we are 'allowed' to make. That if we speak up about 'trivia' issues then we are seen as wanting more rights at the expense of men's rights. Which isn't true at all. Very infuriating that sexism is seen as the norm to the point where many people are sexist without even realising it.

Want to pipe up for Backlash. It's very relevant.

And yes, everyday sexism is much worse than it was in the 1990s. I'm too weary of it to give examples right now. Be preaching to the choir, anyway.

Bemore where is this workshop? Pm me if you like.

Don't get me started on sexist mothers. I really, seriously, could write a book.

My DH was a SAHD. He did the lot. I have always been totally crap at anything domestic bar cooking. I had my own business, ran it from home. This meant I got a lot of quality time with our DCs, but did nothing round the house. When I had my second DS I worked until the Monday, gave birth on the Friday.

DH gets sick and, eventually, dies. DCs still at primary school. I was close to them emotionally, that was fine, but God how I struggled with games kit, coffee mornings, all the stuff most of the other mums had been doing for years. I tried to explain both to mums who raised their eyebrows and the school that I was seriously out of practice with all this basic stuff. And of course my DC and I were all struggling with our loss.

And all too quickly the judginess and spiteful gossip started. It went on and on. The school was appalling, even raising questions about my parenting.

My bereavement counsellor was utterly brilliant. Said from her perspective I was in the position of a man whose wife had died. Naturally I struggled with conventional female stereotypes. Made me understand that if I'd been a bereaved man caring alone for 2 small children all the school gate mums would be praising my courage. As it was, forgetting a reading book became a banging offence.

She stopped me from worrying what nasty sexist women thought. And it was all women. No man I know joined in. I made friends with mothers who didn't judge me but the hurt runs deep, as you can probably tell.

You can download the complete works of Andrea Dworkin for free here ;

radfem.org/dworkin/