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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Bright pink lipstick and vaginas

59 replies

FruitCider · 07/09/2016 19:36

I've got some internal conflict and not sure why, thought I would discuss it here and see what you all make of it?

I work in a challenging male environment, with men that have not had much female contact for a long time. My team is mostly made up of women, all of whom (apart from me) wear dresses instead of trousers and have heavily applied make up.

One in particular wears bright pink lip stick, because "it reminds men of vaginas". She reapplies it frequently in front of the men and carries it around in her pocket.

Part of me agrees that women should be able to dress how they want, when they want. But part of me is also confused about the women choosing to wear dresses and wearing heavy make up, particularly that lipstick with that intent.

It's really starting to bother me as I wear my hair short and put bare minimum make up on. I certainly don't want to make myself look even slightly sexual with this group of people that I work with.

I guess I just wanted to verbalise my feelings and get a feminist perspective on scenario/my feelings? Im feeling very conflicted!

OP posts:
Blerg · 07/09/2016 19:55

Sorry and not intending to pry OP, but is it along the lines of male prisoners or people in some sort of care setting? Hence no female contact? If so that seems inappropriate and I imagine would surely be covered by a dress code?

FruitCider · 07/09/2016 19:53

Pestilence that tells me you genuinely understand. Do you think it's worth an SIR? Like a CP one? It's so hard because I only just started my job 3 weeks ago and I'm only a guest in the establishment, if you see what I mean?

OP posts:
FruitCider · 07/09/2016 19:51

*professional sorry I'm tired!

OP posts:
FruitCider · 07/09/2016 19:51

Muddling that's what part of me thinks, but the other side is confused as to why women would want to dress that way in front of men that have no seen women other than pridessionals for possibly many years, most of whom are vulnerable.

Maybe I'm just being a judgemental git.

I'm definitely not wearing earrings again, I haven't for 5 years as I'm allergic to most and now my ears are really sore!

OP posts:
Pestilence13610 · 07/09/2016 19:49

If you put in a SIR saying what you have said here, she will be.

Muddlingthroughtoo · 07/09/2016 19:48

Surely if you dress the way you do, she has the right to dress the way she does? Neither of you is right or wrong, it's just personal choice.

Pestilence13610 · 07/09/2016 19:46

Never be coerced into doing what you don't want to or shouldn't do. That includes lipstick and earrings.

FruitCider · 07/09/2016 19:42

She's been there for 2 years so can't imagine she will be going any time soon. It's ridiculous but I actually feel pressurised to look "better". Even wore a pair of sodding earrings to work yesterday!

OP posts:
Pestilence13610 · 07/09/2016 19:41

Check the dress code. I used to work somewhere like that and heavy make-up was not allowed. We had a woman like that, eventually she lost her job (they did try asking her nicely, but she had a similar attitude to the woman you mentioned).
Carry on as you are.

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