Running while female

Totally agree Joker, so depressing. It amazes me how many people think that women are responsible for men's behaviour, as well as their own.

I hate that women get blamed for mens shitty behaviour based on whatever she's wearing. She was asking for it because she was wearing makeup? Absolutely ridiculous.

I don't wear makeup or shorts when I run BTW but if I did want to wear shorts it shouldn't be any different then a man wearing shorts. Men wear shorts running all the time, that doesn't mean they're asking for it so why would you assume a Woman is wearing shorts for attention.

I had an interesting experience when out running about a month ago that I still haven't been able to put out of my mind. I go running on my own 3 times a week and have been doing so since about March. I normally wear 3 quarter leggings and a baggy tshirt and I sweat like mad but one evening I went out with my friend who's much thinner than me and she had a full face of make up and shorts on. We got honked at by a car full of men who shouted out of the window to us, then another men shouted something a bit later on and later on a man got up from his table outside the pub and actually ran alongside us talking to us! It was horrible, I've never felt like that when I've been on my own and I felt so uneasy. I actually told her that I'd rather go on my own unless one of our husbands comes with us because it wasn't a nice feeling at all.

DH and I both run quite a lot. I'm quite fortunate that I can run in the day - somewhere like Battersea Park or Hyde Park are fine, although I nearly always get some car / van honking or some kind of comment going to or from the park. I find wearing headphones helps because then you look as if you can't hear them. And not wearing crop tops, very short running shorts obviously.

DH runs either very early mornings or evenings during the week. He's over 6ft and a strong build. He's become very aware that if he's running down an otherwise empty residential street or down the Thames, etc and he is running behind or towards a woman, that she will often cross the road or run in the middle of the road where she's more visible due to the street lamps. Some months ago, he was running behind a woman who then ran out between two parked cars and had a collision with a cyclist (luckily nobody was injured, but both were shaken up obviously). So now DH tends to cross the road if he's behind women in secluded streets. Or he takes me out with him.

I am ready to die and tear someone else's throat out doing so I know that feeling you are talking about Uncontrolled

OK I don't run at night because I run for pleasure which, for me, is being outside enjoying the world. I walk for the same reasons. If it's dark there is not much pleasure to be had. I also can't run in the cold and in this country if it's dark it is generally cold. Maybe it's not so dumb for other people to run in the dark but I would have thought not being able to see adds risk and complexity. But of course a head torch is an option.

I'm not sure why I'm being called absurd but there we are. I do think we have grown a generation of women who are scared of too many things and who interpret every glance, sound, comment as either an insult or an imminent attack. Whilst I fully appreciate there are women who have been attacked, many of the things quoted here are "feelings" that something could or might happen. Eg I saw a man and it frightened me. Has anyone ever considered that a car might hoot to warn a runner (esp with headphones in - a dangerous habit - probably running with the traffic - another dangerous habit) that they are passing? We have raised children on "stranger danger" and constant talk of paedophiles and rapists. That's fine if we now all feel our children are safer but I suggest an unintended consequence is that many women now seem frightened of their own shadow.

I'm so sorry that people feel they can't go out of their house and enjoy the wonderful, privileged, beautiful country that we live in.

What is it about being in gym or workout clothes that makes one (as a woman) feel more vulnerable? As I too would feel very aware when walking home from the gym or from a run

I don't run, but I do walk to and from my gym along a canal towpath. I felt compelled to share my experiences.

I have been shouted at, insulted, stared at, obstructed, followed and catcalled. It is pathetic. I have a big gob and shout back, though. I refuse to be intimidated (and quite frankly could probably pound any man into the dust if he tried anything) but I still sometimes feel uncomfortable in the winter especially. I don't know what the solution is, but some men are truly lame. Some of them don't even put any bloody effort into their insults!

God, I'm so sorry I mistook you for another poster - that makes me sound like such a dick. I was not in any way laughing at what happened to you. I was trying to say that it was Argy who was being absurd and that it was unfortunate that other posters were thinking that my comments were directed at them when everyone else was being reasonable. Anyway, I will be sure to read properly before posting next time - apologies again.

Haha? I was violently attacked- not yelled at, or had some dude say alright love but thrown to the ground and assaulted

And 'haha you have some sympathy with my fatalistic mindset'

Bloody hell. 'Haha' I've heard it all now

Haha actually it was to Argy, sorry I should have just said. I do have sympathy with your somewhat fatalistic mindset - it was how I got myself back out running again.

But women seem to have to deal with a balancing act of both taking precautions (because there is danger) but also not being scared of "silly comments" from men (because they're not dangerous, don't be so daft)

Sorry was that directed at me

My experiences are my own and my lack of fear the result of not feeling like I've got anything left to lose- not something I'd wish on anyone, actually, it's a bit crap, because it was born out of violence

Oh well, I guess

No sorry it wasn't you that was implying that, but other posters have definitely implied that being scared is silly and we all need to get over it...

God no, I wasn't trying to suggest that it was irrational, especially if you have had a bad experience. I hope that wasn't how my post came across. I just hate to think of women being afraid to exercise alone because we're afraid of what might happen, if that makes sense.

I understand Vvlgari - it isn't right to expect people to let fear ruin their life. However, it's certainly not right to dismiss someone's fears as irrational if they do speak about being scared.

After my experience I had to really grit my teeth to get back to running again and for a long time I wouldn't run alone. In the end I started running alone again because it was too much hassle trying to find a time others could run with me. The key is though, I did it for me, not because other people were telling me I was being irrational.

It can be easy to spook yourself for no real reason when you're outside alone at night, particularly if you've had a bad experience. I do think though, that while it's good to be alert to your surroundings (hence why I don't wear earphones when I run at night), building yourself up to be afraid of something that may be a man in the distance isn't a healthy thing to feel.

Before anyone jumps on me, yes, I know that bad things have happened to women out running alone at night but it's not good to let it get to a point when you're afraid of going out alone to exercise and spend the whole time stiff with fear. Sorry, not explaining this very well. I just don't think we should be afraid of exercising outside just in case something happens.

I'd love to have a dog to run with, I don't think my cat would be a suitable substitute.

But saying that it's like when people suggest women should take self defence classes. Yes it may solve the problem for that woman but it doesn't address the root cause.

Argy later says that men who run in the dark are dumb too.
I suppose she could mean it's just too dangerous for anyone, woman or man to run (because of?? muggers? murderers?).
I tripped over something on the pavement running in the dark, really messed up my knee.

But, that's not dumb really, is it? And could easily be negated by wearing a head torch. Still, I wait to see what the poster I asked has to say, given that it was their post I responded to.

Argy, I wonder why you think running at night would be dumb, when men aren't a problem. What do you think will happen if you run in the dark that makes running then "dumb"?

If you see badly in the darkness, I suppose you could step in dog shit or stumble over a root, or something. That's why I would not run in a dark forest.

@Buffy: I suspect that, too. But not every woman is able to, or even wants to, keep a dog. So, not really a solution. (But proves that harrassment is not meant as compliment. If the men really thought it was okay, they wouldn't be scared away by a dog ...)

Argy, I wonder why you think running at night would be dumb, when men aren't a problem. What do you think will happen if you run in the dark that makes running then "dumb"?

I was attacked on the street (not while running) when in my early teens

It prevented me from being outside, on my own, at night for a good 20 something years- it is only really now, in my early forties that I can go out at night without feeling fear in the pit of my stomach

I totally appreciate people's fears.

I do run, and am not afraid, I don't know why. I think part of me thinks I've already experienced what can happen, and this time I wouldn't freeze, I can't be surprised by male violence anymore.

I am ready to die and tear someone else's throat out doing so.

It is actually pretty fucked up that this is at the heart of my carefree running, where I don't seem bothered by the thought if catcalling etc.

If you get the paid version of the Map My Run app, it will track your progress in real time and your friends on there can see where you are.

I'm always torn on this - it seems sensible, on one hand, but then Strava - which is pretty mainstream and respected - goes quite far in the opposite direction, recommending female runners set up a "privacy zone" so people can't try and work out where you live/work/frequent based on your running data.

I'd love a dog to run with.