Why are people so defensive towards alleged rapists?

I will add that in my teens and early 20s before kids I didn't give it a second thought and would happily wonder around drunk at 4am on my own. I don't know if that's my
Location, age or the world in general that has changed things.

In an ideal world this wouldn't happen and no one would feel the need to avoid certain situations. I realise they can't always be avoided such as work etc, all I'm saying is where possible this is what I do. I'm not saying you should, but I do.

That is horrible ToadsJustFell

Unless you physically bar all men ever from your home and never leave it again then no, you're not being 'sensible'.

You're just buying into rape myths because 'sensible girls' don't get raped.

Except they do. All the time.

Felascloak Sat 30-Jul-16 22:43:26
kind I am surprised they got acquitted
No, they have not been acquitted yet because the jury could not decide on the verdict. So there will have to be another trial. But this must mean some of the jury thought they should be acquitted.

I've been both raped and sexually assaulted.

On neither of these occasions did I put myself in a vulnerable position. They both happened in situations and places where I should have been safe and with people I should have been safe with.

When I was sexually assaulted I was at work and it was my coworker who sexually assaulted me. Obviously as I was at work I hadn't been drinking and was wearing my work uniform.

I wasn't flirting or coming on to him and in fact was trying to avoid him because he had been making sexual advances on me which I had declined. I made it clear that I wasn't interested. I wasn't acting in a way that may be considered "questionable" (whatever the fuck that means). I just wanted to do my job and go home.

I was still repeatedly sexually assaulted by him throughout the day as I was just trying to do my job. I kept trying to avoid him but he would somehow find a way to get me alone (which wasn't difficult as my work place was big and there we were short staffed that day) and sexually assault me again.

Would anyone like to suggest how I could have avoided that? Not have a job? Work only in female workplaces and never have male coworkers?

New, what about women that in the winter need to walk home from work in the dark , or at least to their car

I have said no one asks for anything, and I have no list, I just do what to me is sensible.

kind I am surprised they got acquitted. Total double standards. The men get to set up whatsapp groups about being predatory shits but they aren't rapists while the woman gets disbelieved for potentially dancing provocatively in a club while pissed. Ffs.
It is so depressing.

Surely women who put themselves in vulnerable places are just asking for it, d'you what I mean?

Ffs, a rapist will find someone to rape, vulnerable or not. All it's doing is saying 'rape the next person'.

Telling women to keep themselves safe is yet another rape myth. Are you ticking them off a list newstart?

It's sad how many people a) don't recognise rape or sexual abuse when it happens to them or b) want to try to pretend it's something one can avoid by behaving in certain ways. It's sad :(

www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/whatsapp-rape-trial-jury-unable-11594138

This about the Nottingham rowers who filmed an unconscious girl being raped. (There was an earlier thread when this was first in the news.)

The jury have been unable to decide o a verdict so there will be a new trial. Even with the film the men made showing this rape, some jury members must think she gave consent. I think, to use the cup of tea analogy, not [to the tea pots' minds] being all that drunk, dancing with the tea pot earlier, going to the tea shop with them in a taxi, then entering the tea shop with them, was alleged by the defence to be the consent for the actual cup of tea.(www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3675825/Rowing-coach-accused-raping-student-claims-s-shy.html)

One of them sent the film to their WhatsApp group called the Gruesome Threesome. The seem to boast about how many women they can get. They probably genuinely do not think they have raped this girl, but got another virile conquest. (www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/06/29/university-rowers-accused-of-filming-rape-of-drunk-student/)

I can't help feeling glad they have been named, because at the least they are a form of predator. People do need to watch out for them. Even if they are acquitted of rape, they are guilty of being extremely nasty people and they do not even have the excuse of being as young as Brock Turner was. Two of them with a drunk, younger girl and so proud of themselves they sent evidence of their prowess out.

I wouldn't be out walking late at night, I don't take my dogs remote places on my own.

I've been reading but haven't posted because I have not thought through the issues as others - but ffs.

If i didn't "put myself in a vulnerable position" by walking in quiet places and taking quiet trains I wouldn't be able to work. Should women not work? Would that make us "safer"?

Proves OPs point though.

It's a bit ironic really.

Oh and as someone who is female and who has lived in and walked home alone in cities at night for 40 years I'm really irked at this "don't put yourself in a vulnerable position " line.

Gone has said that she thinks people accused of child abuse should be granted anonymity

No accused person should have a right of anonymity. It is not in the interest of justice. It is absolutely essential that other victims should have the opportunity to come forward if they recognise a pattern.

It also occasionally will lead witnesses to come forward who support the defence case.

Ffs this thread is awful. Proves OPs point though.

I don't very often tbh, work doesn't bring me into contact with people and I don't have hobbies as such (thinking I need to get out more.....)

Relationships don't just mean romantic ones. Do you never come into contact with other men you know, other than your husband? Do none of your friends have partners? Don't you work? Have hobbies?

My comment involved mugging as it is a vulnerable situation. I have just read that a friend was mugged and kicked unconscious earlier this week - so yes while it is rare it does happen and I will avoid putting myself in vulnerable situations

I was asked if I avoid relationships with men - which was what the comment about my husband was about, I can 100% guarantee he won't be raping me. As for friendships my circle is female.

Given the teeny, tiny percentage of rapes that happen when you're out and about alone in the dark, versus when you're with a man you know, you'd be a lot less likely to be raped spending all your time outside alone than in the company of men who are husbands/partners/friends/colleagues/ acquaintances.

Although maybe less likely to have your purse stolen. Which is apparently comparable.

Ignorant how?

t is depressing, but you don't know who's about. Whether it me a rapist, mugger etc I just don't trust the world

No mentioning of it here, of which I was referring.

If you feel safe out and about on your own that's great - however I don't so will continue the way I do