Why do (some) men sexually abuse/rape?

I would like to know if the British Army teaches the soldiers how not to be overcome by an urge to rape. Imagine going to war as a relatively innocent young man, then committing that crime. How could you ever be all right again?

My pity for those men is limited. I don't think any truly innocent man would ever feel an urge to rape. Torture, perhaps. Rape, no. I also believe that the British Army should shoot rapists among their ranks, instead of teaching them how to resist the urge to rape.

As for men teaching each other to rape, there's this interesting study:

jezebel.com/5866602/can-you-tell-the-difference-between-a-mens-magazine-and-a-rapist

Men's magazines are essentially rape propaganda. I couldn't tell the difference with the examples given.

Senac - I think your husband talks shit because he has been unknowingly taught these lessons from birth. We all have.

I think people can be educated in a way that would prevent most unwanted sex. But not adults who are already entrenched in the sexist bullshit culture that we currently have. Children can be educated about consent, respect, speaking out etc. It would require a complete transformation of the education system, current family life and many many other things. This could happen in just a couple of generations but everyone, or at least the vast majority, would have to get behind it.
Although we may always have sociopaths/psychopaths/whatever the right word is who will abuse and assault.

It seems when something makes men think it is fair game, and when they are under the stress of war, many are going to be rapists. What happened in Germany after the war shows this. It was not just the Russians who were raping but American, British and French soldiers - something we just don't think possible when we watch the gents in war films.
Warning, these articles about what happened to German women after the war are horrifying and very upsetting:

www.revisionist.net/human-loot.html

library.flawlesslogic.com/massrape.htm

In this article, following, it says the first wave of rapes in Berlin were for revenge, then the following waves were for lust.

incredibleimages4u.blogspot.co.uk/2010/04/german-women-raped-at-end-of-ww2.html

I would like to know if the British Army teaches the soldiers how not to be overcome by an urge to rape. Imagine going to war as a relatively innocent young man, then committing that crime. How could you ever be all right again?

In regard to the question 'Why do men rape?'
this is some sort of blog by a man educating other men about how to know the difference between real consent and non-consent so as to avoid being a date rapist. The language is very creepy, especially in the first scenario where he describes a drunk girl he has picked up wanting sex/being all over him (?? how often does that really happen, I just don't know). But I thought that in describing the various scenarios and what not to do, his blog seems to portray something about what Brock Turner type men want to do.

www.doctornerdlove.com/2012/01/coerced-consent-yes-means-no/all/1/

It doesn't feel like men have the power if you're a man denied access to your kids. Or if you're a poor black youth who sees Theresa May and Angela Merkel discussing the UK's future

What relevance does this have to the question in the title of this thread?

Buffy - everyone one of us sees the world through the lens of our own experience and the experiences of others we identify with. And, of course, we believe we see things more clearly than those who don't agree with us. The idea of rational and dispassionate analysis is a myth. All politics is driven by emotional factors, and people identify targets accordingly.

It doesn't feel like men have the power if you're a man denied access to your kids. Or if you're a poor black youth who sees Theresa May and Angela Merkel discussing the UK's future.

If you're in grinding poverty you see the economic oligarchies - or the benefit cheats or the immigrants. If you're black you'll see the whiteocracies. If you're female you'll see the patriarchy. And so on and so on. Most people have an axe to grind - and that's fuelled by a sense of personal injustice rather than by noble altruism. And a good proportion of that axe-grinding takes the form of demonising the perceived oppressor.

No activist movement has a monopoly on truth.

"Once aroused it can't be controlled and they need to be satisfied often."

I simply don't believe the once aroused, it can't be controlled point. If they were at home about to have sex with their wife and their mum popped by unexpectedly, could they stop? If they were snogging a girlfriend in a park and someone lifted their wallet, could they stop? Yep. So they could equally stop if faced with a lack of consent. They just choose not to.

BR, Buffy, Ophelia - yes, I know that F4J have done some questionable things. Name one protest movement (including feminism) that hasn't!

It's not so very few. At least not few enough to call them few, imo.

No, my husband isn't like that , TG. But it's what he thinks about the few men who become rapists and abusers.
My ex was abusive.

^My views are more simplistic. I think that some men have a very high sex drive which takes little to arouse. Once aroused it can't be controlled and they need to be satisfied often.
It only takes a few words from a woman to turn them on.^

Thanks Senac for giving a really clear example of how the male sex drive discourse supports male entitlement and is the cause of rape and sexual violence. Men (and women) are fed this line about male sexuality from a young age. It's bullshit of course, but convenient bullshit nontheless.

Once aroused it can't be controlled and they need to be satisfied often.

sorry but that's bs. Oh is easily aroused (just by scratching my back,words or sometimes a look) . He's also what many would consider deprived in this area because of many reasons. Guess what? He can fucking control it! Hell he'll even try to hide just so i don't feel pressured or guilty. Unless your husband and the other men that think this way have sex anytime,anywhere with anyone then yes,they can fucking control it WHEN THEY WANT TO

WHAT PARTNER RAPISTS AND STRANGER RAPISTS SAY ABOUT WHY THEY RAPE: ( from an American website, sorry don't have actual source!)

• POWER: The partner rapist: ‘It gave me a certain feeling of power over her because I knew she found it unpleasurable. It was one of the only times I could best her "

The stranger rapist: "… At that time, it gave me a sense of power. A sense of accomplishing something that I felt I didn’t have the ability to get."

• ANGER/RETALIATION: The partner rapist: ‘‘I guess I was angry at her. It was a way of getting even "

The stranger rapist: "I met a girl at a party... she irritated me … I took her home to her apartment and I raped her.’"

• INSECURITY/SENSE OF INADEQUACY : The partner rapist: ‘‘… She was a stronger person than I was in many ways, and I bad an inferiority complex about it. "

The stranger rapist: "I raped about four chicks … they all had a certain self-assurance … it used to be threatening to me."

• SEXUALLY AROUSED BY CAUSING PAIN AND FEAR: The partner rapist: ‘‘I had the best erection I’d had in years. It was very stimulating. I walked around with a smile on my face for three days. You could say, I suppose, that I raped her."

The stranger rapist: Interviewer: "Did her fear turn you on? Rapist: "Yes" Interviewer: "How did you feel about her being hurt?" Rapist: "That was exciting."

• PREFERENCE FOR COERCIVE SEX OVER CONSENSUAL : The partner rapist: ‘‘I get this satisfaction from a feeling of some dominance – a man over woman thing."

The stranger rapist: "Making a girl wouldn’t do it … It was the unattainable I wanted."

• SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT : The partner rapist: ‘‘I have a right to this."

The stranger rapist: "You want this, and you don’t see why you can’t have it so you take it ."

A very interesting thread.
My views are more simplistic. I think that some men have a very high sex drive which takes little to arouse. Once aroused it can't be controlled and they need to be satisfied often.
It only takes a few words from a woman to turn them on.
I've talked about it with my husband several times - that's what he says, and it has been my experience too.
Their sex drive can be aroused by the excitement of war too - when a victim becomes a victor - as with the Russians in WW2 - they rape the women of the enemy.

Well, patriarchy is a system in which some men are very well off, quite a lot of men get to treat women like shit, while being subjected to male violence themselves.

Without patriarchy, little boys wouldn't be sexually abused, but adult men would have to do their own laundry.

If you compare it like that, you'd think men would be bonkers to not want to abolish patriarchy, but as in many unfair systems, everyone hopes he will come out on top - and of course, little boys might be against patriarchy, but by the time they have the power to abolish it, they benefit from it.

I am quite sure American capitalism only works because every poor guy hopes he will one day be a millionaire, and he won't want to have to pay taxes then. It is probably similar with patriarchy, except that it does have some privileges that all men enjoy.