MN deleted thread

How do we know you're posting 'facts'? I could tell you I'm Kate Middleton. Doesn't make it true.

And if you weren't offensive you wouldn't have been deleted, would you?

Maybe spouting off your offensive nonsense is why people keep 'jumping on you'.

wantingresults I take your point and as I've said (again) I'm aware it does happen and it's not fair at all, I agree BUT not every situation is someone being sexist
All I'm trying to point out is that just because it can be sexist doesn't mean it allways is

Ok so parents of adhd children how easy is it to get benefits? Not very I should imagine?

LilacSpunkMonkey For god sake read my posts will you!
A friend of mine done exactly that! Her children (2 boys) have been diagnosed with add after her preservence with the doctors DESPITE never being in the same room as them and never teaching them right from wrong! When they spent weeks with me and also thier dad they learnt towards the end thier behaviours were not acceptable and they were like different boys
When she was questioned about it by thier dad she TOLD me it was about the money
As I have said over and over again knowing someone that has done it means it DOES happen - NOT all the time and be no means everyone but why can I not post facts about a person doing it just Incase there are genuine people with SEN children going to get offended!! on the other thread I also said I have another friend with a child with ADHD and you can tell that is a true diagnosis so I am not brushing the condition off like most do I'm just stating that there are people who play it!
Seriously, since I joined mn I have realised how so many people read what they want to read and jump!

I'm not sure how women can have a greater variety of problems with stomach pains than a man. Stomachs are all the same

I doubt I'd ever meet a woman who thinks the pain in her uterus is a stomach pain. They're as similar as chalk and cheese

Thanks Lou - I take your point that yes, sometimes there are solid reasons that women and men are treated differently but the point I'm trying to make is that even when these are controlled for, in situations where there could be no logical justification for treating a male differently to a female, the male is likely to get superior treatment simply for being a male. There are studies which show that males are privileged over females simply on account of their being male in most areas, even in 2016. Until the studies stop showing this is happening we have to keep fighting against it.

Everything else aside Lou you need to stop with the 'people pretend their kids have ADD to get benefits' shit. That's bullshit and it's extremely offensive. This site does not tolerate that crap. Many parents here have children with SEN. I work in a school. You don't just get a diagnosis for ADHD then start raking in the benefits. It takes a long time to get a diagnosis and to get proper provision in place.

Stop talking out of your arse. And I don't care if that comes across as aggressive. There has been a huge debate about the way people talk about children with SEN on here lately and it's being clamped down on.

wantingresults The 8 hour comment was from someone upthread when unfair medical Treatment was first mentioned

Actually, so many men are hypochonders that it is a well-known phenomenon. Men act like they are dying when they have a little cold. I think it is called the man-flu. It is so common that women are frequently making fun of it.

Men are still taken more seriously by doctors. Because of patriarchy. Because of sexism.

I don't understand what you mean Lou. What takes 8 hours?

If you are comparing like for like men have been shown to receive superior treatment merely because they are men, when it would have cost the same in time and money to provide identical treatment to a woman with an identical problem. The scenario I gave is representative of what research shows happens throughout society, day in, day out in all sorts of areas. It's not fair but it's the society we live in.

wantingresults The original point about the doctors though wernt go home with a hot water bottle it was that it takes 8 hours and men is quicker, hence why I said with men there is less problems it could be and therefore be quicker
If you had your scenario and the woman got sent home I would say that was extremely unfair!

What I'm talking about though is health care professionals downplaying the woman's pain ("you say it's unbearable but just go home and fill yourself a nice hot water bottle and make yourself a nice cup of hot tea and I'm sure you'll feel better in no time") while taking the man's pain seriously ("you say it's unbearable, that doesn't sound good. I'm going to recommend you get straight to a and e and I'll book you in for x, y and z scans in the next week). Even when the reported symptoms are the same, even when there is no history of hypochondria in either case and even when there is no biological reason that a hot water bottle and a nice cup of tea should be more appropriate for the woman or where proper intervention would be more appropriate for the man.

It's not just various reasons that women are discounted Lou

It's downplayed a lot because "women cry. It's what they do." According to a lot of doctors. Therefore the fact they are in a lot of agony and sobbing in pain, it's still not taken as serious as a man.

That is sexist

wantingresults But surely if a man goes to the doctors with stomach pains there is not as many possible reasons for it and therefore the concentrate on the most likely. Woman can have many reasons why they would have stomach pains and it is bound to take longer to diagnose? That's not being rude or mean it's just looking at other possible reasons?

Queen I don't mean to be sexist it's not my intention at all, just trying to see things from both angles hence why I said men are too
Not sure how from that you find me sexist?

You whole argument is extremely sexist. I'm staggered.

But Lou, there are mountains of research that shows that your sister is NOT the reason women are treated differently by doctors. The reason is sexist discrimination, by both male and female health care professionals. Both men and women can be hypochondriacs as Errol says. If someone who has no known history of hypochondria goes to the doctor and says "I am in excruciating pain, what can you do for me?" studies have shown that they will be taken more seriously simply for being read as a male. A female is more likely to be told to take some asprin, a male more likely to be prescribed serious pain killers or referred to a consultant. This is all documented by decades worht of studies in various different fields. Sexism is real.

NeedACleverNN Based on personal experience there ARE some people who do not discapline their children and claim it's ADHD when I know it's all an excuse to get DLA - I'm fully aware it is not the case the majority of the time but the sad fact is it does and has Happen which is why people are posting threads asking if they will always face that question. My response was exactly that, my experience. I wasn't rude and started I know full well it's not always the case so I wasn't accusing anyone on the thread of doing it. Since when are posts deleted for stating facts?

Queen - unfortunately SOMETIMES they are not always and not everyone but so are men thier own worst enemy at times too. Again it's fact

Lou - you could have simplified your argument into "women are their own worst enemies".

Lou ... There are men who are hypochondriacs too, you know ...are you saying that women are more likely to fall victim to negative stereotyping because of the behaviour of a few? The examples unthread were not the result of hypochondria anyway.

It's like a post I replied to the other day regarding adhd - some people do play on there children to get the diagnosis and this is why when someone says my child has adhd the first thing people ask is it really adhd or naughtiness, I'm not for one second saying it's always just naughtiness but people playing it make the stereotype unfortunately

I can see why that was deleted as it could be seen as disabilist and it doesn't help to break the stereotypical view of "it isn't adhd. He is just naughty and needs better parenting"

However for every child that has ADHD for the reason to play up and it being genuine, there will always be one person who uses it as an excuse for every little problem.

Thanks ladies for not biting my head off, I'm fully aware that discrimination does happen but as I've said I've been lucky

My sister is a prime example why woman are treated different when it comes to doctors and hospitals because unfortunately it's woman like her who go over the slightest of things!
I've had the same doctor since birth and he knows when I go I'm being serious but those types of woman make the rest of us look like hypercondreacts
It's like a post I replied to the other day regarding adhd - some people do play on there children to get the diagnosis and this is why when someone says my child has adhd the first thing people ask is it really adhd or naughtiness, I'm not for one second saying it's always just naughtiness but people playing it make the stereotype unfortunately
Same with benifits, those who do work cash in hand and play the system give genuine people in need of benefits a bad name
So my view is it's not always a sexist thing it's the stereotypes that come along with everything
I'm the typical working mum stereotype so that makes me a heartless mum who puts work before her children in some people's eyes - far from true but the label is there iykwim

Nobody has called me a twat, it was a question about which of those mindsets would make me a twat

Where were you called a twat Hermione?

I've never experienced FGM, being a child bride, not being allowed to drive, not having access to sanpro etc so those things must not exist

Or....I recognise those things do exist And I've been incredibly fortunate not to experience them so I use my education, voice and relative wealth to support and campaign for women and girls less fortunate than me

Which one makes me the twat?

Lou - I had somewhat similar notions that women's equality was a done deal, because I'd never experienced discrimination. However, when I began to consider the realities of many women's lives I realised that this 'I'm alright, Jill' attitude of mine just wasn't good enough.