Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

Another article on the trans issue, from a different perspective

36 replies

JillyTheDependableBoot · 15/05/2016 12:31

www.nytimes.com/2016/04/24/fashion/transgender-modern-love-relationships.html

Not sure where to start with this one. I suppose this is how some people see it, but... but... but...

It's interesting, the whole "what it means to be a woman" thing aside, that she's not looking back at her relationship with her ex and thinking thoughts about his true sexuality in the light of all this.

And that even though she can tell, just from looking at a picture, that the new girlfriend is trans, so therefore clearly doesn't pass, she still thinks the new girlfriend is a "better" woman than she is.

Sooo fucking bonkers.

OP posts:
Grimarse · 16/05/2016 09:53

I can see why women feel threatened by the trans movement with regard to issues like safe spaces - bathrooms, changing areas etc. And, not that anyone will care, but you have my support over those concerns.

But I really don't think you have anything to fear in the area of trans women 'stealing' men from women. I find that idea quite bizzare - not in a snarky way, but in a 'well that's never going to happen' way. Is it really a concern that women have?

PalmerViolet · 16/05/2016 07:18

Yes Jilly, that's what I took away from it too. It does plug right in to the whole thing around MtT being more 'woman' than women, because they "play the part" better than the majority of women feel any need to. So we have a situation of "woman as performance art" iyswim?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 16/05/2016 01:38

What's troubling to me is that she feels undermined in her own womanhood by this designer frock-wearing, boyfriend-stealing sceptre of femininity

I don't think one can blame the trans woman for the writer's own hang ups. Also there is nothing to justify saying the trans woman stole the writer's boyfriend.

Original poster
JillyTheDependableBoot · 16/05/2016 01:02

I don't think it's written by a transwoman - the writer makes her own struggles with gender quite clear. What's troubling to me is that she feels undermined in her own womanhood by this designer frock-wearing, boyfriend-stealing sceptre of femininity, and her biological status isn't enough to convince her that actually, no matter what she wears or does, she is a woman and this other person isn't. And also, that she has so totally bought into the idea of competing to catch a man, and deep down knows that another man will probably be able to do that, performing womanhood, better than she as a born woman can.

OP posts:
LassWiTheDelicateAir · 16/05/2016 00:48

Possibly written by a transwoman?

It's written by a woman whose ex boyfriend is dating a trans woman.

SilverBirchWithout · 15/05/2016 23:54

*titillating

SilverBirchWithout · 15/05/2016 23:47

Possibly written by a transwoman?

It feels quite mysognistic to me, and I suspect it would be quite titivating to a gay transwoman, being able to be appear more feminine and alluring to men than a biological woman.

PalmerViolet · 15/05/2016 22:17

It's a really interesting article, thanks for posting.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 15/05/2016 21:53

What is heartbreaking? A rather silly woman doing an Adele "Someone like you " act on her ex boyfriend?

I notice that despite scrounging free accommodation off them she managed to rummage through the new girlfriend's wardrobe.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 15/05/2016 17:52

Heartbreaking.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 15/05/2016 16:06

I don't think you can extrapolate much from that article beyond the writer's personal insecurities, neediness, inability to let go of a relationship which has ended.

And the fact she is a terrible writer.

I thought back to the first time I saw her. My boyfriend and I were having cocktails with a couple we knew, in their tiny living room. They were telling us about their friend who was thinking about buying a place nearby

“You have to meet her,” Bill said. “She’s fabulous, so glamorous. She’s a former model and just everything. Let me show you.”

What does the size of the living room have to do with anything? Does Bill sound like a real, live human being?

Swipe left for the next trending thread