If others are reading this thread, I'm glad they have been reminded that women are not responsible for sexual assaults. However I would be very sorry to think that anyone swallowed the contradictions and myths that are being put forward by 'feminists' on this thread.
There are people in our society, men and women, who will prey on others. Like any predator, they are most likely to prey on those with the least defences. Stranger rape is not a myth; the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism describes it like this:
'In the case of sexual assaults that occur among strangers or people who have just met, men who drink heavily may frequent settings, such as bars and parties, where women also tend to drink heavily and where a man can easily find an intoxicated woman to tar-get for a possible sexual assault.'
It is not a myth to say that your defences are lowered by alcohol. It has been acknowledged many times by almost everyone on this thread. It would be lovely if this wasn't an issue but it is. Although there are steps that women can take to reduce the risk that they will be a victim of rape, this doesn't mean that anyone is responsible for being raped. It's an important distinction that is summarised well in The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism:
'...approximately one-half of all sexual assault victims report that they were drinking alcohol at the time of the assault, with estimates ranging from 30 to 79 percent (Abbey et al. 1994; Crowell and Burgess 1996). It is important to emphasize, however, that although a woman’s alcohol consumption may place her at increased risk of sexual assault, she is in no way responsible for the assault. The perpetrators are legally and morally responsible for their behavior.'
The nature of the risk is unpacked further here:
'...drinking in potential sexual situations increases women’s risk of being sexually assaulted, both because sexually assaultive men may view them as easy targets and because the women may be less able to resist effectively.'
'Resist effectively' is later explained as having reduced ability to evaluate risk and to physically resist an attack by a rapist.
The article also identifies early misunderstandings in what kind of sexual relations the woman is open to as a risk factor for rape at a later stage which suggests that women are safer if they are clear about their level of interest from the outset although this has no bearing on the rapist's culpability if their wishes are overridden at a later stage:
'...American men are socialized to be the initiators of sexual inter-actions. Consequently, if a man is interested in having sex with a woman, he is likely to feel that he should make the first move. Initial sexual moves are usually subtle in order to reduce the embarrassment associated with potential rejection. Both men and women are used to this indirect form of establishing sexual interest and usually manage to make their intentions clear and save face if the other person is not interested (Abbey et al. 1996b). However, because the cues are subtle and sometimes vague, miscommunication can occur, particularly if communication skills are impaired by alcohol use. As male-female interaction progresses, a woman who has been misperceived as being interested in sex may realize that her companion is reading more into her friendliness than she intended. However, she may not feel comfortable giving a direct message of sexual disinterest, because traditional female gender roles emphasize the importance of being nice and “letting men down easy.” The man, in turn, may not take an indirect approach to expressing sexual disinterest seriously. Research on the power of stereotypes, expectancies, and self-fulfilling prophecies demonstrate that when people have an expectation about a situation or another person, they tend to observe and recall primarily the cues that fit their hypothesis and to minimize or ignore the cues that contradict their hypothesis. Consequently, when a man hopes that a woman is interested in having sex with him, he will pay most attention to the cues that fit his expectation and disregard cues that do not support his expectation. Studies with both perpetrators and victims have confirmed that the man’s misperception of the woman’s degree of sexual interest is a significant predictor of sexual assault (Abbey et al. 1996a, 1998). The process just described can occur even in the absence of alcohol use. However, alcohol consumption can exacerbate the likelihood of misperception, thereby increasing the chances of sexual assault.'
There is every reason for us to bring our sons up with the utmost respect for women and extreme caution in obtaining consent for sexual relations but unfortunately there is still every reason for us to bring our daughters up with a realistic understanding of the types of situations in which they are most at risk of being preyed upon.