Man cleared of rape after having sex with a woman who thought he was someone else

You couldn't intimidate me, Buffy. I am unintimidatable

Hairstyles are interesting.There's a suggestion that hairstyles that are perceived as conservative and submissive may indicate 'exploitability' to a predator. I strongly feel that every little chip of knowledge that builds a picture could be helpful, even if it's not obviously helpful.

As a woman, I may not need to know every little piece of data and certainly am under no obligation to act on it - but the general picture, as a mother, I feel I do need to know - and the behaviour that I want to model to my DD is the behaviour that will make her less of a target for abuse of any kind, as well as all the messages that she has a right to live freely and fully and as she chooses.

I will not be sending my DD out to a club with no advice about stranger rape any more than I will watch her enter the world of dating with no information about issues around consent or what it's ok for a man to ask of her/not ok. No we cannot spot a rapist but that's no reason to go around with blinkers on. If she wants to dress very provocatively it is indeed her choice - but as her mother, I will let her know that there are men out there who are still labouring under that the delusion that her clothing is a signal of her availability - and yes Buffy, researchers are interested in that. Whether or not one wants to allow those misconceptions to affect what one wears is a personal choice and we all have a right to make it in our own way.

Are we now on to women keeping safe by picking a non-rapist for a partner?

Good-oh.

Although you might be raped in any relationship at all, there are relationships where it seems more likely that it may happen, and that is important.

How is it important? Most people going into a relationship don't have a crystal ball to know how things will pan out. They don't predict the man they're with will start being violent when she's pregnant. She might be living a chaotic life with alcohol or other drug dependence. Many, many women worry about how they'll provide for their children if they leave. Many will have grown up absorbing ideas about how men perceive you is what counts, and you should please him, rather than putting yourself first. Many women will have grown up in stable, loving families and will blame themselves for the situation they end up in, and all the feelings of shame. Many women will think, at least he's not actually hitting me, it'll be over soon.

What should all these women have done differently to have avoided getting into a relationship with a man who turns our to be a rapist?

And please stop getting at Buffy. She's one of the most informed posters on this board.

The more you post Buffy, the clearer it is that you have nothing to substantiate what you're talking about. The need for a better understanding of sexual violence in relationships was highlighted by experts a matter of months ago. It is complex and a surprisingly new field of research where fairly basic terms are only just beginning to be defined. Researchers are still at the point where they are saying 'we don't have a clear way to talk about the difference between activities that are unwanted and those that are non-consenual' and 'we know rape is often part of a wider picture of aggression and control within a relationship but we don't have the full picture about how that works' - all with the aim of understanding what's happening in order to provide support for the victim before and after rape. Although you might be raped in any relationship at all, there are relationships where it seems more likely that it may happen, and that is important. Shooting down any attempt to move forward in understanding in this area is, frankly, insane for someone who cares about women. But stick your fingers in your ears if you wish!

I understand precisely what you're saying dervel and have done for some time. It's a fair point but the conclusion is a matter opinion. It's clear that you have weighed up the advantages and disadvantages of finding out more about risk factors for rape and publicising them (disadvantage - could be misconstrued as transfer of responsibility, unnecessarily curtail women and lead up under-reporting; advantage - could empower women at risk to protect themselves from predators). You've decided one way and I've decided the other. The difference between us is that I'm not going to insult you for it.

Well, given that we know that most rapists are repeat offenders putting a few more away will reduce the numbers of rapes proportionally.

No of course it's not, that is self evident. Criminal convictions are three pronged:

1. To punish and thus deter future criminals.
2. To protect society from the individual criminal.
3. Where possible achieve rehabilitation of individual criminals to prevent re-offending.

no system will be 100%.

Prosecute by all means but realise it's not a 100% foolproof way to stop crime

Rapist behind bars is one less rapist adding to the figures. This can't be contentious can it?

So if people commit murder, because some would do it no matter what the punishment was we should say fuck it and not prosecute?

Increasing convictions won't necessarily decrease rape. Back when people were barbarically tortured many years ago for committing crime didn't mean people stopped committing crime

I'll try to break this down gone as concisely as I can. If we want to reduce rape, we need to increase convictions. To increase convictions we need more victims to come foward. Creating an environment where the victims behaviour is put under the microscope, and the words "responsible" bandied around, will decrease the number of people willing to come forward. Ergo more rapists get off scott free. We don't want that do we?

You've missed the point, miss.

I'm sure i've read more articles about women being raped by strangers than people being struck by lightning

Whereas querying victims on their behaviour would be sooo much more sensitive?

Saying something is less common doesn't mean saying it doesnt exist or being unsympathetic to victims. It's more common to suffer from.domestic cooking burns than lightning strikes, doesn't mean burns units won't treat both.

You say odd things, miss.

Those saying stranger rape is rare. Tell that to the poor women who appear on crimewatch. Or any other victim of stranger-rape. Telling them 'weeeeeeell statistically you are more likely to be raped by someone you know' doesn't help them

And you have a habit of ignoring or misrepresenting other posters, gone. Life's rich tapestry, eh?

You seem to have a habit of highlighting a few words and making a goady post about it while failing to engage with the posters points hell, you're busy doing it on another thread too. Good luck with that, it's transparent and having seen through you, i have no more time to waste.

"if someone had told me that stranger rape was tantamount to a myth"

No one said this. You are lying.

Well, something will be plain to anyone reading, gone, but not the conclusion that you have stated...

Fine with me lass, it will be plain to anyone reading that you don't have a defence.

Buffy as you have no idea or interest in what behaviors actually leave women at risk of rape, whether from partners or strangers, I will leave you to your uninformed musings.