Men as protectors

i don't think that men are protectors

I think the OP has found a copy of 1954's Woman's Weekly. My newspapers and magazines are full of women achieving stuff - having careers, hiking through volcanoes, leading the NUS - shit like that.

Welcome to 2016, OP - you'll love it.

Do romantic comedies and books not sell the idea of coupledom as humanity's ideal? Not just women's?

To be honest I think single men over the age of say 40 are probably thought of as being more odd/outsiders than single women.

Do many women still consider men as their protectors?

I adore my DH but I don't think of him as protecting me (from what?).

He's a big bloke so technically could protect me if required I suppose but in 25 years it has never been necessary.

Financial security etc I can take care of myself!

Sorry, I'm a bit confused by this - nobody's ever said anything like that to me personally, and I don't recall ever reading anything like that in the media either.

Of course you rarely get the message in plain speech. It is more implied in the hundreds of books and movies that end with a woman finally getting married, thus achieving her life's ambitions.

And on a thread that is very active at the moment, someone bemoaned that "If we all broke up with men who are dicks, we'd all be single", as though being single was something unthinkable, a fate worse than death.

The point of view that being single is a very good alternative to being in a relationship with an asshole seems to be taken only by very few women, most of them to be found among feminists.

We are constantly told that we are nothing without a man By whom? Sorry, I'm a bit confused by this - nobody's ever said anything like that to me personally, and I don't recall ever reading anything like that in the media either.

EBearhug, you don't need a relationship for those benefits, you could simply live with a friend. We do not usually share our money with friends, but ... why not?

When walking home alone, I'd much rather have a woman with me.

I have heard of women who were raped by the exact same men they asked to accompany them home for safety.

But Ebearhug that is just describing some one you can rely on when things go wrong and applies in any good relationship to either party. That's not the same as being protected

When you add in the rates of violence against women by men, why does this myth of men being protectors prevail?

Because it is useful for patriarchy and thus, patriarchy promotes it, or simpler: Individual men like to think of themselves as protectors, and are very protective of this status, even attacking feminists who point out that men are aggressors rather than protectors. (NAMALT, et cetera)

What women don't notice is that the only thing men ever protect us from is ... other men.

They are somewhat effective for this - in fact, even a non-existent man can offer some protection; wearing a wedding ring or claiming to have a boyfriend will help a woman get rid of a certain kind of man, i.e. the sort who respects other men's "property".

We would certainly be much safer in a world without men.

I think you'Re right about patriarchy. But I also suspect that anyone (including those who aren't heterosexual) in a good relationship will find some protection in that, compared with being single. I say this from the position of living on my own and being aware that if I fell downstairs or had an aneurysm or anaphylactic shock or something, I'm likely to be one of those who's found after several weeks. Plus if I lost my job, there's no one to cover the bills or anything. Having a partner would make me feel less vulnerable in that way.

But man being the protector is more about fending off attackers in the street and stuff, not taking on your share of the chores and bringing you a light, nutritious chicken broth when you can't leave your sickbed. I think I've spent too many decades walking home alone to think that a man with me would make much odds.

I can't think of a simpler answer other than that we are constantly told that we are nothing without a man.

why is it still perceived by a significant proportion of people that women without a man are lacking? Maybe that's simply still function of perceived worth being determined by the man you get?

That seems a plausible explanation of why "Mrs" is used as a title.

I don't think of my husband as a protector.

My husband makes me feel protected.