DH calling women "bitch"

I don't think of it as offensive, because it's bandied about so much.

Having said that, I have never once heard my dh say it, in reference to a woman.

Which was exactly my point. So we'll say no more about it then.

Look if you want to take it up with MN feel free, Grimarse. But for the reason that Theydontknow gave; plus the behaviour that the men exhibit when women are told to LTB (which isn't on a par with cutting someone up in traffic); plus the relative inequalities still between men and women; plus the fact that the OP, me and a number of others on this thread don't even use the word, I will be failing to lose sleep tonight over the fact it is a word used regularly on MN.

DH used to do this...drove me mad...it was part of his general demeanour and negativity at the time...in the end I told him to sort it out or it would end our relationship, it was grinding me down and affecting the DC...He went and got treatment for depression which included counselling.
He rarely does it now..

Oh yes and throughout history, the unmarried father was always viewed with the same level of opprobrium as the unmarried mother.

Oh, wait.

We both know when and why it is used, scallops. You seem to want to constantly excuse women and berate men for the same behaviour.

And the literal definition of bastard makes no mention of 'being born of an unmarried mother', but rather 'being born of unmarried parents', i.e. not reference of it only being the mother who is unwed. I think this is a case of only seeing what you want to see.

However, the OP's partner needs to have a word with himself. Using vocabulary that upsets your partner is not on.

Oh give over Grimarse. You know why it's used so much on MN. You are the one being obtuse.

I think you are just being obtuse now, scallops. You can detect misogyny at a thousand paces, and yet women's parallel behaviour can be excused out of hand.

I also agree that it is misogynistic to call a man a bastard for the reason that scallops gave.

The women on MN generally don't see the need to put up with men's bad behaviour perhaps?

This is quite a good thread for looking at words more commonly associated with women (and a few about men too) www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/1255666-Words-used-soley-to-describe-women?pg=1.

In the US, bitch (as a noun) and bastard are definitely gendered. So is cunt. I don't use any of them, and I would be very upset if DH were throwing "bitch" around on a regular basis. It is misogynistic.

Okay, let's accept that it can be used in a misogynistic sense. So is it misandric when used towards a man?

A quick google of the phrase 'mumsnet+leave+the+bastard' returns over 17,000 hits.....What does that tell us about attitudes towards men?

Bastard does refer to an illegitimate human. And it's derogatory against women because it is indicative of an attitude that a woman had done wrong to bear a child out of wedlock. It is still used in that sense nowadays - not as often I grant you. And I agree likening a woman to an animal does feel worse Theydontknow.

I can't really see why you're getting in such a flap about the word "bitch", however having to live with this level of anger and vitriol must be tiresome.

YANBU to ask him to rein it in.

Really? Has anyone defended this man's behaviour on here? Have I?

I think it can pass as a one off outburst now and again but not as a regular thing..not from me anyway.

But the OP doesn't go around calling her male relatives "bastards" so why is that being brought up?

Because few people in society, when faced with a man behaving badly, want to call out the man on his bad behaviour. They'd prefer to decide that the problem is something else entirely - anything other than his bad behaviour.

This thread is a perfect illustration of that.

And the more people try to pretend that 'bastard' is ever used to describe women, just because it can, the weaker their argument seems.

Well, it depends on whether we are discussing the OPs partner's use of the word as an individual trait, or in the wider context of insulting women merely for being women. I thought it was the latter.

In which case, you can't have your cake and eat it. If only men use gendered insults, then it can be seen as a gendered issue. If women do it as well, then perhaps it isn't. And it seemed ironic to me that it was being raised on Mumsnet, where the LTB phrase is legendary.

Bastard refers to an illegitimate human. Bitch refers to a female dog. The latter definitely feels stronger and more derogatory, likening women to a dog.

But the OP doesn't go around calling her male relatives "bastards" so why is that being brought up?

He does sound like a bit of an idiot. Swear, shouty drivers who constantly blame everyone but themselves are usually pretty unpleasant individuals.

What does he shout if he doesn't know the gender of the other driver? Quite often you can't tell whether it is a man or woman? Does he default to a male insult, or does he assume it's a woman?

i'd hate it if my DP used the word bitch. It's a nasty, venomous, contemptuous word that is aimed solely at women. He's using this word because they are women doing stupid things, not because they are people doing stupid things.

He is noticing and naming their gender and holding their gender against them, not naming their behaviour, in situations where gender is irrelevant.

It would be like saying 'stupid Pxxi' about an Asian person - it acts as a same vile unnecessary shorthand for 'fucking idiot driving that car and look she's a woman christ what can you expect'

Bastard is also derogatory towards women - said no-one, ever....

Stop trying to pretend that this is ever the case in normal conversation.

How is bastard misogynistic?