You have a beautiful wife

Agree with Happy.

yep.

Which, in turn makes the assumption that women are attracted to money and power. Is this the case?

sexual capital and all that, presume he makes a load of money.

Me too Happy

Interesting. I once sent DH to toddler group in my place and the following week was greeted with, "Wow Tink, we all thought toddlers was looking up when your handsome DH turned up." Definitely a congratulatory, well done, vibe.

I've a number of times heard "how did you manage that?" from men to other men in the context of them having an attractive wife where he is deemed to perhaps be "punching above his weight" so therefore, yes, positioned as if it's an achievement.

I think rude elf has a fair point and am a little confused why quite so much rudeness is being directed at her.

Men say he's big, strong and strapping. "Good looking lad"...

Noone tells me I've done well. Perhaps I'm objectively more attractive than my husband that's what I frequently tell him anyway

Posie, there are intersecting societal structures. Feminism - at least the bit on here - chooses to concentrate on maleness, rather than other causes of inequality. I was just bringing that to the attention of people not familiar with FWR.

What sort of things do other men say about your husband's attractiveness?

Who is angry?

posie are people going that though or just having a conversation about it? Why so angry ?

RudeElf ....

No bowing out or letting people that just want to argue and minimise anything you say silence you. you are free to start a thread on whatever the fuck you like and if they don't they are free to look elsewhere.

Grimarse. Are you saying there aren't patriarchal structures?

//If someone says my husband is handsome it has a totally different feel, they are complimenting my taste not my achievement.

That is feminism, in a nutshell. The patriarchal structures in our society identified by feminism mean that a comment about a woman have totally different interpretations and underpinnings than if they were made about a man. Even if the words are exactly the same. If you discuss such comments on FWR, you have to bear this in mind. Feminists view life differently//

Actually men shake my husbands hand, or pat him on the back with a raised eyebrow and say it. That's not the way women say it to me, or men about my husband. Likewise when a man tells me my husband is handsome, it's usually along the lines of what a tall and strapping man he is. I'm not looking for difference, it is different. It's the same with my children, my daughter gets "complimented" in a totally different way.

"Look up your daughters" "Keep her locked away" as a brief example.

I do find it weird. And definitely much more tilted towards women than men.

Passing remarks about physical attributes (and of course women are judged thus much more than men) are considered rude unless they are strongly positive.

Beatiful/pretty/cute/attractive are supposedly nice comments.

Ugly/odd/unattractive/eccentric are supposedly not nice comments.

Even neutral words like plain/average/okay-looking are supposedly not nice comments.

"You have a plain wife" would never be uttered. Or "your wife has an odd smile. Has she thought about getting her teeth fixed?" These things would be absolutely socially unacceptable but passing comment about her if you consider that she passes the beauty test then that's fine.

• Perhaps I should have said that feminists view society differently.

If someone says my husband is handsome it has a totally different feel, they are complimenting my taste not my achievement.

That is feminism, in a nutshell. The patriarchal structures in our society identified by feminism mean that a comment about a woman have totally different interpretations and underpinnings than if they were made about a man. Even if the words are exactly the same. If you discuss such comments on FWR, you have to bear this in mind. Feminists view life differently.

It's ok to compliment some ones wife or husband. Other wise your asking for a complete block out of positive physical appearance comments about other people's partners. I think that's leaning a bit to far the other way

I agree it's weird and your complaint is legitimate, OP, and it's also exceedingly tiresome sexism to tell a woman she's angry and needs to calm down based on some lines of text.

If someone says my husband s handsome it has a totally different feel, they are complimenting my taste not my achievement.

Men have said this to my husband I'm not but you are welcome to believe it as if it's his achievement