Single sex birthday parties

I believe the OP.
But I am cautious about a 5 year old version of things. :)

Who knows the real reasons?

Who knows if the OP has got a DD at all? There seems little point in engaging on a thread if you place limitations on your belief of the OP

As evidence goes, it's hear say.

The daughter said it was because it was football and only for boys.
Who knows the real reasons?

I read the OP as the DD expressing the opinion that she'd been left out because it was a football party and that was why only boys were invited...

" she hasn't been invited to one of her classmates parties 'because he's having a football party and has only invited boys' "

if she's frustrated and disappointed that her DD is being affected by the gender stereotyping by other parents then why shouldn't she?
But she doesn't know that her DD is being affected by gender stereotyping, it's more likely that she affected by the boy's friendship group not including her or simple management of numbers.
Sure, she can go and challenge the parents, but it would be bloody rude!

It's generally agreed on MN that you shouldn't leave out one or two children of one sex in a class, so 13 out of 15 boys and two girls would risk the two boys feeling left out.

Sadly my boy has only ever had two girls at his birthday since he was 5.
His cousin and his godmother's daughter. Who happens to be a class mate too. But wouldn't have been invited if I didn't insist.

Before 5 there was one girl in his class he liked (or rather she chased him) and another I was friends with the mother, plus female cousins.

He is not the type of child that makes friends with girls. He doesn't even make male friends that easily.

He also excludes boys he doesn't like. And the invitations have nothing to do with the type of party, although they tend to be football related or paintball or something like that.
Oh, well.
Should I exclude some of his friends to include girls he hardly interacts with? I don't think so.

My DS last party (7) had 12 children ... 11 were boys... I didn't make him pick another girl to make sure there were more girls...

We are now organising a party for age 9...Not a mention or thought of inviting a girl..

I would say YABU but a few months ago hosted a craft home build a bear kit party for my 7 year old DD who insisted on an all male invite list. She was adamant that the boys would enjoy it. I had hosted one before for older DD (all girl).

Put it this way I am still recovering from the ordeal.

An easy way to cut down on numbers, surely.

Also if I asked DD4 to pick 15 children to come to a hypothetical party I would bet that most/all would be girls. I hear all about her girlfriends at school but rarely about the boys - I think they do segregate themselves at a young age.

What I meant to say was that I didn't see it as segregation by gender, just segregation by close friends. I'd guess if I asked DD to put her entire class in order of preference (not that I ever would!) she would list every single girl above any of the boys, even though she likes the boys too.

I've never done whole class parties, and neither have any of the other children who are in my DDs class at school. She has never invited a boy to her birthday party, simply because she didn't want to. She has been a guest at some of the boys' parties though.

It's quite popular to do single sex parties here as a fair way of splitting the class without making people feel left out.

Doesn't necessarily make it right, but I can understand why it's the route many choose to take.

She has no place in talking to the parents about it. It is their decision.

It's entirely the OPs decision whether she chooses to share her opinion with the parents or not - if she's frustrated and disappointed that her DD is being affected by the gender stereotyping by other parents then why shouldn't she?

Of course, the other parents can decide whether to listen or not; and will form an opinion of the OP based on how persuasive her argument is.

Some parents will feel as you do, that it's none of the OPs business. Others may just think a bit more carefully about the language they use and lessons they are teaching their DCs. Even if one parent changes their behaviour, it is worth it, IMO.

When I was in primary school, the boys would often have football parties and invite the whole class, girls included. I didn't otherwise play football - I'm not sporty and my family saw football as 'for boys' anyway, so these parties were probably the only times I played it.

I really, really enjoyed those parties. It makes me feel sad that parents are increasingly choosing to segregate children's parties by sex (when I was a child it was either the whole class invited or a few close friends, depending on the size of the party) from a very young age.

DD1 has a lovely friend who wanted a football party, his Mum was going to only invite the boys but he insisted DD1 was invited 'because she loves football' he told his Mum. So his Mum invited DD1 and a couple of other sporty girls and they had a great time. Having said that DD1 insisted on a girl only party this time (she's now 8) even though I tried to encourage her to invite some of the boys she plays with. I think the social pressure at school to have segregated parties is quite strong, even if it's not a gendered theme, e.g. she was at a climbing party recently that was all girls, I bet all the boys would have loved it too and knowing the parents the gender split would have been the child's choice not theirs.

If he (or the parents) wants a boy-only party, then fine, but a young child attributing the need for gender segregation to the activity taking place is frustrating and disappointing.
But still none of the OP's business.
She has no place in talking to the parents about it. It is their decision.
I am sure if the child particularly wanted the OP's daughter to come to his party, then he would have invited her. There was a girl at my son's school who went to every football party because she played football all the time. She was often the only girl. The birthday boy was probably thinking about all his football friends. She wasn't one of them.

maybe it's absolutely none of your business!

Gender stereotyping at such a young age is everyone's business.

If he (or the parents) wants a boy-only party, then fine, but a young child attributing the need for gender segregation to the activity taking place is frustrating and disappointing.

Lazy brained parents? How incredibly rude.
Maybe the boy didn't want to invite her, maybe it was a way of managing numbers, maybe it's absolutely none of your business!

Its crap. My eldest was so upset last year when he wasnt invited to his friends "pamper party" as it was girls only. They were four.

My DD and ds are 10 and 12 get on fine with each other and children of family friends who are of the opposite sex, but neither of them have close friends of the opposite sex. DD is very sporty and ds is into art and crafts but they seem to chose to do these things with like minded children of their own sex. I have neither discouraged or encouraged this. Personally I spend most of my free time with my female friends who enjoy fell running and biking. I am a feminist as is my DD, my ds even notes sexism on TV but still hangs out with boys in the main.

Agree it's easy to split the class.

At a slightly older age, I had to prompt DS to ask some girls. I think calling other parents lazy brained is kinda harsh.

*young not tough

No 5 isn't too tough about getting tribal about sex segregation. Pre-school is where it happens round here. It's great

Depends how well the other parents know your child. If they know them well then it seems a bit sad not to invite one that would enjoy the activity, but if they don't then splitting the class in half by sex makes sense.

I suspect dd may be in this situation soon as all her nursery friends are boys (plus two girls from elsewhere). She is 4 and very into declaring all sorts of things as 'boy things' and 'girl things' but so far with no obvious relationship to typical stereotypes.