Rapist has sentence reduced as judge says there is no indication that it was anything other than a 'single impusive act'

I'm really sorry you had the experience you did Will. I think it's more common than people a lot of people want to admit.

The bottom line here is that a penis inserted into any orifice where consent hasn't been freely given, without coercion, is absolutely an act of violence. It beggars belief that anyone could think otherwise.

It's part of the definition of the word, rape has always been seen as violation. I wonder when we started to split rape into real, proper rape, ok rape and not quite as bad as real proper rape, but still rape rape?

The distinctions are used to dismiss women's experiences, every single time.

I've given examples of rape that i believe to be non violent, either because the victim is drugged and therefore no force is required, or because the victim was under age and participated with some enthusiasm or gave consent in situation where they were coerced etc.

The word violence can have different meanings. In the traditional sense of an act of strong physical force that causes physical injury or damage, then you can have rapes that do not involve this kind of violence, such as the "statutory rape" example you mention.

But the term can also be used to mean that something is very bad with very bad effects. Think of "emotional violence" or "financial violence". It does not always mean physical force/damage etc.

Don't be sorry WilLiAm

Its awful what happened to you

Thank you everyone. Sorry for mini-outburst.

Bathtime

And you are disputing a fact, not an idea.

And views.

hysterically? Itll? No one is acting hysterically (which is misogynistic btw). You, however are showing you true colours using words like that to dismiss women's experiences..

Or to look at it another way (and with apologies for the imagery), sticking something inside someone else's body against their wishes, whether in a sexual context or otherwise, is pretty much by definition a violent act. In fact I think there needs to be some serious mental gymnastics to think of it as anything else.

Its, I understand what you're trying to say. But wouldn't you agree, as a matter of ordinary English, that every single rape involves someone being violated? And that, by extension, as a matter of ordinary english, each involves violence?

Unlike some posters here, I don't have a difficulty with the idea that, whilst all rapes are appalling crimes, some are even worse than others, and should be punished as such. But I also think that talking about a category of 'non-violent rape' is dangerously minimising.

WilLiaM - I had a very similar experience.

I think the rapist who raped me would blame my (genuine) virginity) on how hard he had to try to penetrate me in my sleep.

I didn't hurt afterwards.

Well other than the pregnancy and subsequent abortion.

But no, how non-violent it was for him to stick his penis in me without my consent.

Your view isn't controversial it's a view I hear often from people who think rape should be graded into bad rape not so bad rape violent rape not so violent rape

It takes away the horror of what rape is

carry on with your oh so controversial views it's nothing I haven't heard before (well maybe the drugging and raping not being violent not heard that one) while thankfully the rest of society moves (slowly) on from these outdated views

scallops - people are saying on here that all rape is violent. This stands in clear opposition to the belief some rapes are not violent. I was not the one who equated non violent rape to "unicorn shit".

I have not said that all rapes are non violent or even a significant number are, and indeed i know that most are violent, but proving violence has occurred is problematic ? I've given examples of rape that i believe to be non violent, either because the victim is drugged and therefore no force is required, or because the victim was under age and participated with some enthusiasm or gave consent in situation where they were coerced etc...instead of arguing any of the points people have reacted hysterically to the idea that a penis could be put into a vagina in a non violent way when the women did not consent, i still don't see how that is controversial.

Coldest - show where i said that a large man laying on top of a woman and forcing his penis into his vagina was not a violent act !? What the actual fuck are you on about ? I refer you to my post Sat 20-Feb-16 10:02:44

WilLiAm

"great - so women who feel guilty because their rapes weren't violent given the common usage and understanding of that word, are batshit crazy" Only you are saying this. How a woman defines their own rape is entirely up to them. That is absolutely their prerogative. That doe not negate the fact that rape is a violent act.

What the actual fuck is happening !

WilLiAmHerschel - i am so sorry about what happened to you, and i would of course class that as violent rape.

willIAm - that's a horrible thing you underwent, you too Draenor. So sorry you had that experience and hope that some of the wittering on this thread hasn't upset you.

Nothing to apologise for. I've posted my absolute worst experiences on MN, under various names, because there's always someone who can empathize and help you understand how you're feeling.

I feel a bit stupid for posting now.

Thank you Draenor and I'm sorry it happened to you too.

Sorry I probably should delete this but I don't understand what is wrong with you.
Neither do I but remember you're arguing with someone who claims that drugging someone and anally raping them is "not a violent act." Just horrific.
Sorry you've had that awful experience, for what it's worth I've experienced similar and I spent years understanding it and trying to work out what I did wrong.

great - so women who feel guilty because their rapes weren't violent given the common usage and understanding of that word, are batshit crazy

I don't know if you are purposefully misinterpreting things or what. I was a victim of what you, it'llbefine, would class as a non-violent rape. I woke up to find a great big man on top of me with his penis in my vagina. I didn't fight him off, I was confused. I had no idea how I'd got there. I still don't know how I ended up in that situation and it happened 7 or 8 years ago when I was at university. He never hit me, he didn't restrain me. I couldn't have got him off me if I tried as he was double my size but the thought of stopping him didn't even enter my head. When he had finished using my body for his own pleasure he got off and was perfectly polite. It was still a violent act. Btw I hurt down there for days afterwards. If I had not hurt, it would have still been rape and it would have still been a violent act. He forced himself in me again and again. Can you not see how that is violent? Sorry I probably should delete this but I don't understand what is wrong with you.

its

rufus - i totally agree !

its

I think thats the problem and i dont know how to explain it or my thought processes

All i know is that i dont believe that anyone needs to have any physical pain or marks for it to be rape