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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

BoysToys

436 replies

SlowFJH · 13/02/2016 11:37

We have two boys and a girl (all now teenagers). My daughter was never into dolls and never really liked pink. She was into arts and crafts and loves knitting and sowing. The boys were completely stereotypical (plastic and wooden swords, guns, cars, diggers and tractors, soldiers etc).

We have good feminist friends (with three boys) who banned violent toys for boys. They always gave us the cat's bum face when they visited ours because their boys used to absolutely love playing with my sons' swords and shields. When we went out it for a walk, every stick they found was a gun - despite their parents vocal disapproval.

My friend's boys (now all strapping teenage lads) joke about how their parents banned them from having the toys they always wanted.

We definitely saw differences in toy preferences very early on. My daughter had zero interest in wheeled toys (despite my efforts) but both boys were fascinated by them virtually from day one.

I know my experience is not scientific. But there were some studies several years ago using baby apes (who obviously had not been conditioned by human systems or been exposed to advertising etc). Baby male apes showed a clear preference for mechanical toys over plush toys.

www.newscientist.com/article/dn13596-male-monkeys-prefer-boys-toys/

I'd love to hear others views on this topic... social conditioning versus biological predispositions.

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SlowFJH · 18/02/2016 06:40

Muttaburrasaurus
Thanks for the clarification that "Evo-bollocks" refers to evolutionary psychology not the entire study of evolution.

I'm not a psychologist but is it common or acceptable (from a style point of view) to refer to an entire branch of science as "bollocks". We're not talking phrenology or astrology or alchemy here. I am guessing (hoping?) that the people conducting this research have to jump through the same hurdles as every other scientist to get funding, have the design of their studies critiqued, gather data systematically and then be peer reviewed before publishing? Or does that not happen in Evolutionary Psychology? I'm curious.

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SlowFJH · 18/02/2016 06:22

DrSeuss
taking on board what is said about your posting style would be helpful

Is there a "style guide" (other than the MN guidelines I should be following)?

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SlowFJH · 18/02/2016 06:16

To my knowledge the researchers in the toy study or the E/S study ever claimed to have proven causation. A correlation can still be of scientific interest wouldn't you say?

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Lweji · 18/02/2016 01:29

We end up going back to: even if there are differences at population level, there's still quite a big overlap.

We don't see extremes, as in other mammals of males taking off and the female doing all the caring, or the reverse in some birds, fish or frogs.

I remember something about men's brains and/or hormones also being affected by hormones.

And as anecdotal evidence goes, my granddad was much more caring than my grandmother.

DrSeussRevived · 18/02/2016 01:20

Back to my point about both buggies and trucks being wheeled mechanical toys capable of load bearing.

Slow, if you want people to engage with your posts, taking on board what is said about your posting style could be helpful.

And is it that surprising that on a board called Relationships on a site called Mumsnet, it's mostly women discussing relationships?

MyCrispBag · 18/02/2016 01:16

"I wonder how they would have interpreted their results if they'd picked a toy pram rather than a car"

I imagine they would have come to the exact same conclusion. Evo-psych seems to be the only 'science' that starts with the conclusion.

Muttaburrasaurus · 18/02/2016 01:02

Correlation does not equal causation. Always amazed when scientists of any persuasion don't get this. Obviously there's an extremely high chance women in our society are more likely to have high EQ as we are encouraged to value high EQ in women.
If you're a physiologist slow you must know about the studies on brain plasticity and the visible differences in brain anatomy that develop depending on environment eg the mouse studies on the visual cortex. Also that the same happens in humans too. If you use a skill and practice it, that part of your brain can be even visibly bigger or more active in some cases and smaller if not used.
We also have good evidence that even tiny babies are capable of developing complex patterns of interaction with their parents in aspects that could be seen as gendered such as caring behaving. This occurs well within the first year.
Personally I'm always surprised there aren't even more gendered differences apparent in the population given the vast differences in the way that society treats the sexes and the extreme sponge-like way children absorb and adapt to even very subtle influences.

Agree completely with evolutionary psychology being evobollocks. It fails even the basics as it mostly consistents of wild hypotheses with no actual empirical way of testing those hypotheses.
I wonder how they would have interpreted their results if they'd picked a toy pram rather than a car Grin

MyCrispBag · 18/02/2016 00:50

"Anecdotal data I agree but an obsevation that had been corroborated by measures of EQ"

What does that even mean? I read it 4 times and still have no idea.

MyCrispBag · 18/02/2016 00:49

"In evolutionary terms it could be argued that there is a survival advantage for the sex that gives birth to and suckles offspring to have E>S."

Would it though? I would think a balance of E/S would be more advantageous as both have distinct drawbacks.

SlowFJH · 18/02/2016 00:45

Anecdotal data I agree but an obsevation that had been corroborated by measures of EQ

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MyCrispBag · 18/02/2016 00:41

It would certainly provide more data if you were going to ignore every basic rule of research methodology.

SlowFJH · 18/02/2016 00:28

A quick look at the relationship pages of MN would provide additional data to support the view that more women than men are likely to have a higher EQ than SQ

In evolutionary terms it could be argued that there is a survival advantage for the sex that gives birth to and suckles offspring to have E>S.

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SlowFJH · 17/02/2016 23:57

Meeep
Never said anything about anyone being an idiot. Just observed a difference in approach. Please stick to the facts.

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SlowFJH · 17/02/2016 23:47

I think it's more than one study

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GreenTomatoJam · 17/02/2016 19:55

To be honest I'm not sure that they can draw any conclusions from that study - as I've said in more than one post.

Meeep · 17/02/2016 19:45

Did you feel very judged by the other parents back when your children were young?
Now you feel vindicated. Those other parents were idiots?

But perhaps their sons had different needs, different personalities, to yours. Maybe when they banned guns it wasn't about you being wrong, but it was right for their family all the same.

SlowFJH · 17/02/2016 19:37

WRT to the Emotional Intelligence... point made rather clumsily by Nigel Short, I believe there are reliable differences between general populations of men and women in terms of Empathising / Systemising.

In the general population more women tend to have E>S and more men have S>E.

The best chess players (of both sexes) have been shown to have below average Empathising and above average Systemising.

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SlowFJH · 17/02/2016 19:19

That's how this topic moved to chess and my encouragement of my daughter and her female friends... In the end I didn't think it was too big of a deal but I think I did my bit.

As has been mentioned earlier - chess takes particular kinds of motivation and opportunity in order to get good. There could be a whole range of factors influencing this - but I don't believe these (e.g. time, practise, social constructs etc) are any different for Chess than they are for bowling, badminton or ice skating.

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WilLiAmHerschel · 17/02/2016 19:15

"At least this resolves the age-old debate as to whether there’s a direct link between chess-playing ability and intelligence. Clearly not.”

Grin
grimbletart · 17/02/2016 19:08

Nigel Short: D. Telegraph 15 April 2015 on women and chess.

"I don’t have the slightest problem in acknowledging that my wife [Rea] possesses a much higher degree of emotional intelligence than I do.

“Likewise, she doesn’t feel embarrassed in asking me to manoeuvre the car out of our narrow garage."

I'd feel bloody embarrassed if I had to ask DH to get my car out of the garage. Perhaps his wife should take some more driving lessons because she is clearly not safe to be on the road, instead of him holding an inadequate driver up as an exemplar of why women (in his view) don't play chess. Because, of course, all men are good drivers…..

Amanda Ross's response:“Judit Polgar, the former women’s world champion, beat Nigel Short eight classical games to three in total with five draws.

“She must have brought her man brain. Let’s just hope Nigel didn’t crash his car on those days, trying to park it. At least this resolves the age-old debate as to whether there’s a direct link between chess-playing ability and intelligence. Clearly not.”

WilLiAmHerschel · 17/02/2016 18:40

So what do you think causes less girls and women to play chess and what do you think the answer is?

That's my whole point. Isn't there a risk that any kind of disparity just ends up on blaming things outside of ourselves that we can do little about? Doesn't this actually reduce self-empowerment?

And no. It's very possible to look around at external factors and think what can I do to change those, or how can I push harder against those.

SlowFJH · 17/02/2016 18:37

Clarification for GreenTomato
I meant to say "I agree with you regarding the classification of pot as feminine"

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SlowFJH · 17/02/2016 18:35

WilliamHerschel
History, patriarchy, bias

That's my whole point. Isn't there a risk that any kind of disparity just ends up on blaming things outside of ourselves that we can do little about? Doesn't this actually reduce self-empowerment?

The chess federation was one of the first in the world to actually encourage female participation in its sport and went to pains to create a supportive environment for women to play (hopefully minimising bias, unwelcome attitudes etc). But that clearly doesn't fit the convenient narrative here.."The only reason why FIDE set up the women's championships was to keep women out of the main tournament". This is factually incorrect

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SlowFJH · 17/02/2016 18:24

Grimbletart
Sorry I don't know anything about football. Undoubtedly, women were denied opportunities to enter many sports as well as other fields and professions.

We could wait for the past to change (which tends to be rather a long wait in my experience) or we could take pragmatic, practical and productive steps TODAY to get better participation.

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WilLiAmHerschel · 17/02/2016 18:21

History, patriarchy, bias...etc.. All the things you listed could go towards explaining the 98:2 disparity. But you don't seem interested in discussing those. You obviously have the answer you're looking for already.