"The Child Who Was Never Born"

It may be the wine but it certainly makes me feel like crying. And that is a reaction that goes beyond whatever the artist's intent may have been, and is all about my responses, my losses etc.
Sharing it on Facebook is another matter entirely. I'm surprised in fact that Facebook isn't mentioned in Leviticus as it is surely the work of the devil.

Whichever way anyone looks at this sculpture. Whether miscarriage or abortion I think its really heartbreaking. Bought tears to my eyes. Ive never seen it before.

I think it's tacky. I've had early miscarriages and to be honest my way of dealing with them is that they aren't babies yet, just potential ones. That made me less upset.

I've never had an abortion. I have known many women who have. Women feel a range of emotions from immense relief to guilt and despair and lots of emotions in between.

However if it touches a lot of people, I'm pleased. To be honest I don't think worth being indignant about. If it outrages you, you're allowed to feel outraged , if it comforts you good.

I have had mcs and am an atheist, and don't believe in angels etc. I find the sculpture quite upsetting. I would be pissed off with a friend posting it on FB unless I suppose it had personal resonance for them.

Guess it shows how much art can provoke.

You know, I think I'd be far more accepting of this sculpture if it had been made by a woman - whether it was dealing with her feelings of guilt over abortion, or her grief at miscarriage - because then it would be someone trying to explore their own feelings through art.

As it is, it's a male artist which makes me thinks he's either casting judgement on the women by saying that she ought to feel grief or guilt for whichever situation, or he's trying to appropriate a female experience that he will never truly understand because he wants to make a statement. Probably both.

I also believe it's that lack of innate understanding that caused the artist revert to the classic Christian imagery that makes me feel uncomfortable.

My thoughts are with all of you who have experienced a pregnancy loss I'm sorry if this conversation has caused you any further upset. You have a right to value any piece of art that brings a measure of comfort to you.

I hate how this artist chose to use his talent to manipulate the emotions of women who have chosen to terminate pregnancies. I am appalled that any man would think he has the right to define the spirit of the mother/child relationship to suit his ideology.

I hate it. The artists intent is so important. Creating a sculpture to forgive women for having abortions! Awful.

Every time I see it shared with ohh thinking about loss I post the blog above and an article. No women needs forgiveness for having an abortion.

It feels like an unpleasant political statement in the context of abortion, and a serene work of art in the context of miscarriage. It's hard to know what to think without context

I agree with the first part of your statement. As a work of art I thought it was mawkish and sentimental.


Jeanne you are one of the kindest people I know. And Cwtch too. I'm really grateful to read your conversation. So intelligent, so sensitive. There's so much insensitivity on MN lately - your posts however are very thought provoking and posters like you are why I stay here.

I'm so sorry. That is awful. I do know a little of what you mean and I do see how it feels.

Yes that makes total sense.

I think I usually would feel the same as you, but right now I'm compelled to hold on to the very few things that have brought me any kind of comfort relating to my miscarriage. This did speak to me, because I did (and sometimes still do) feel like I want and need forgiveness for losing my baby. In the depths of my grief, it was easier to be angry at myself and angry at my body than it was to just be hurt; and maybe seeking forgiveness is easier on some levels than accepting something is totally out of your control. And that's why I kind of have to feel it's meant to be comforting. If that makes any sense whatsoever.

Thank you for saying that.

And yes, it is emotive, and I agree, it's hard to see it the opposite way, once you've had your first reaction. I will admit I am sure part of the reason I find it so visceral is that I do know a little bit of me would like to think it's lovely and forgiving, but I don't really believe it is. Does that make sense? Hope so.

No, no, I'm glad you posted it! I think it makes for interesting reading. I don't think I'd have understood why people find it upsetting at all if I hadn't read it. It's just an emotive subject (which I'm feeling overly sensitive too atm). I think it's important to have an insight into other people's views on things such as this. It had never occurred to me before I opened this thread that the sculpture could be seen in any other way to the way I view it, which is perhaps quite closed minded of me.

Sorry, cwtch, didn't at all mean it like that, and I didn't write it now! I wrote it a while back, when a friend had asked me to try to put into words why she found it so upsetting. She was feeling odd for having had that reaction, and I didn't think it was odd at all.

It wasn't meant to be preachy, and maybe I shouldn't have posted it on this thread.

Palmer, I accept you and others may find the statue horrible. You're just as entitled to your opinion as I am to mine. This is obviously a very sensitive topic, and very personal to many people. My post was more aimed at the blogpost than what you'd said, I feel it's a bit preachy I suppose. But I am probably a bit over sensitive where things like this are concerned.

It doesn't have any resonance to me and why I had a termination.

I find it very moving. I had a termination for medical reasons of a much wanted baby, and it says a lot to me about that. Not forgiveness exactly but understanding

I always saw it as the child comforting the mother rather than forgiving her, basically saying don't worry about me, I'm fine.

My apologies Cwtch, allow me to clarify.

I find the statue horrible. I find the use it's been put to horrible.

I'm glad you and others take comfort from it, doesn't mean I have to think it's anything other than a religious slapping stick.

My mother had several abortions before she had me and my brother. She was still troubled by them at the time of her death. She was not the kind of woman to ask for forgiveness and tbh her circumstances were such that it would be inappropriate to expect her to. But if her unborn children were able to console her, that would be a great thing.The picture of the artwork makes me cry. I wish this was a world where abortions were unnecessary.

Many of those of us who are parents need forgiveness from our children.

I've just read Jeanne's blogpost, while I'm sure it's not the intention, I find it reads like a bit of a put down to those of us that are able to find some comfort in it.

The statue isn't horrible, it's a piece of artwork. We all have different tastes and view things differently. I feel somewhat comforted by it, I accept others may not.

Jassy, I read that article but while there are quotes from others saying the sculpture represents abortion, the quote from the artist himself didn't actually say that? Or am I reading it wrong?