Young dependent male children in women's only spaces?

People want to be offended and outraged rather than sensible . Use the bloody disabled or family changing if your child has or is suspected of having a disablity. If you just think hes too imature and you are unable to comply with the rules - use the family rooms or if not avalible ask the staff.

That's been asked a few times, Bertrand, but no answer, sadly.

It does suit her. By 8yrs old an nt child can use changing rooms unsupervised. Sn of course allows access to disabled facilities.

Neither have remotely hinted I think boys over 8 are predators. Simply that it does make girls of the same age and older uncomfortable. And as its a female changing room the female has a right to feel comfortable. As an adult woman I wouldn't care about a prepuberty boy in the changing rooms. And even one early teens my concern would be about the boys embarrassment, not my own. However the young girls who are actually entitled to be in there generally don't feel that way.

Maybe those with older boys could garner opinion on the day as to whether it would offend any men if they went in their changing room? After all, if it's ok to expect older girls to change infront of lads in the same age range, the mother of an older boy should be quite happy changing in front of men her own age.

"i think you're being deliberately obtuse bertrand. are you a lone parent of a male child?"

No. But I am the parent of a male child. And we went swimming a lot when he was younger.

""Suit"????? I would love to be able to send my 8 year old off to the men's to get changed. However I can't and I will not risk my child's safety."

So use the changing rooms for people with disabilities. You are entitled to.

i think you're being deliberately obtuse bertrand. are you a lone parent of a male child?

suddenly male spaces and having males in places where children are alone and naked is FINE when those children are male. mention a MTT in a women's changing room and suddenly the dangers (despite the ratios being entirely different) are real. one male child alone in an adult male space without his mother is fine. one MTT in a female changing space full of women is terrible though.

i don't think people can really see what they are saying and revealing in what they say.

"would they send them into a male one though? why not?

Well, no. Because they are girls.

and of course there are an equal number of men taking children swimming alone and of course being an unaccompanied child in a male only or female only space is exactly the same.

it is interesting how concern for children due to male behaviours disappears when the children happen to be male.

"Suit"????? I would love to be able to send my 8 year old off to the men's to get changed. However I can't and I will not risk my child's safety. I'm also not changing him on the side of the pool like someone suggested. When architects and planners start designing changing rooms properly (centre parcs manages it ok) then I will let my child get changed on his own.

would they send them into a male one though? why not? does the presence of a pre-pubescent penis somehow make it less intimidating? they are children - not males or females. if we spent less time fucking obsessing over the right behaviours/places/behaviours for CHILDREN according to their genitals the world would be a better place.

"When dads take those young daughters swimming what do they do? Send them into the females on their own?"

When they reach the age of 8, then yes.

"t doesn't 'suit' her it's the reality of her situation of a woman responsible for the safety adn wellbeing of her child who happens to be male but a CHILD not a fucking predator"

It "suits" her for some reason not to use the changing spaces for people with disabilities as she is perfectly entitled to do

And nobody is saying that boy children are "fucking predators" RTFT.

The issue isn't about my son having priority over anyone's daughter. The issue is that we need more family changing rooms. Once a boy reaches 8 he, in my opinion, is still too young to use the male changing room on his own. That is the issue. It is women generally who take young kids swimming so why aren't we asking for more family otientated changing rooms instead of arguing over who has more rights than others. My child's safety will always come first. When dads take those young daughters swimming what do they do? Send them into the females on their own?

it doesn't 'suit' her it's the reality of her situation of a woman responsible for the safety adn wellbeing of her child who happens to be male but a CHILD not a fucking predator.

stop pretending having a male child is some kind of option. a child is a child and we have to take care of them. when you say the male ones must disappear you disappear their mothers too.

these are children!

itisbetter should all the nt preteens/ teens who feel uncomfortable having your son in there all hog the disabled changing too? Why do you feel an entitlement to make other people's girls feel uncomfortable because it suits you?
If your ds has sn, then you have every right to use the disabled changing room. If not your preference to keep him out of the appropriate changing room is just that, and your problem, not the problem of every young girl forced to put up with it.

The women's refuges problem can be fixed by having satellite scatter flats that are run by womens aid.

Plenty of women who don't have older boys don't want communal refuges either.

As to 'women's retreats' I personally wouldn't take a boy of school age/maybe up to 7ish, depending on the boy. But I have the luxuary of a babysitter. For women who don't-I don't have an answer??

Ridersinthestorm - the young girl with ASD can use a cubicle - or as someone else says use the disabled changing rooms. I refuse to send my 8/9 year old son into the male changing rooms on his own. My son does not stare - I turn him away and he faces the was and we take 2 mins. Not my fault his father can't take him swimming as he is at work. These are children. You wait unti grown men start using women's changing rooms as their right because they are MTF transgender. Then complain but not at my 8 year old thx. The world has gone mad.

sorry having a son of 8 who has suspected asd, he comes everywhere with me and i dont really care what anyone has to say about it, id rather have a snotty comment that him leg it or drown in a pool.

And what about the young girl in the changing rooms with ASD? She cannot get changed with a boy that age in the same room because she knows it's against the rules? She's in the right place, your son isn't.

Use the disabled facilities, you're entitled to.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne excellent post.

Crikey, isn't this thread horrific.

Firstly, I think changing rooms divided by sex are awful creations - call me a prude, but I don't want to see another persons bits hanging out.. Being in the same space as a group of women chatting in the nude for ten minutes isn't my cup of tea, so I use changing rooms whenever possible.

As a parent to two young boys, I find it appalling that I should be expected to send my young pre-pubescent children into a changing room unattended because some other parents feel that boys can do so when they turn the magical age of 8. I don't let my DS stare at others in the changing room because we aren't there to stare, we are there to change. Which we do. In the safety of a cubicle :) which annoyingly happens to be in a female changing rooms.

It's even more appalling that there are issues with children in refuges. I would hate to be in such a situation as to need the support of a refuge, but to then face the issue of how my children will be accommodated, can they be accommodated, should I leave them with my abuser instead?

I'm not fully clued up on how refuges work so I can't really comment too much I guess, but I would hope the there is support for families with boys, as much support as there is for families with girls - it's awful If this isn't the case.

There are more and more women using urinals too nowadays. No longer can the patriarchy dictate how people urinate

Bang on - sisters are standing up for themselves !

I think 8 is an appropriate cut off, regardless of the boys needs. I would expect a family or disabled changing room to be available for any child older than that with sn that would prevent them just using the males unaccompanied.

Friends dh and I used to take it in turns to take my dd and their ds to swimming lessons. From being about 6 (but looked about 9) dd would go in the ladies and change alone, I did the same in reverse with their ds.

Because it's not about male changing rooms being full of peados. Or another mothers decision that her ds takes priority. It's about the right of prepubescent girls and teens to get changed without the embarrassment of a boy their age.

I did also once get pool staff to tell a mother her son was too old to be in the ladies.

Refuges are different in that it's not a choice to be there. But I can see an argument for keeping women with older sons separate from other women who do feel uncomfortable about teen lads.

There are more and more women using urinals too nowadays. No longer can the patriarchy dictate how people urinate.

sorry having a son of 8 who has suspected asd, he comes everywhere with me and i dont really care what anyone has to say about it, id rather have a snotty comment that him leg it or drown in a pool.