Young dependent male children in women's only spaces?

How about a quick totally unrepresentative survey ? What age does your leisure center let children 1. Swim alone. And 2 age for boys in changing room and 3. Seperate changing at school ?

I agree Posie there is a huge risk of them becoming responsible capable children.

Sports bodies, like netball, say children ten and under must be supervised.

So I'm guessing there are all sorts of risks with a child of eight changing in an adult space alone.

My DS is 8.. He is starting to have body changes as are the girls... He goes into different class for PE changing.. He chaanges by himself at the pool... He has a set of rules to follow... Wait for a cubicle if there isn't one..I had to send lifeguard in once as him and his friend had took forever... If we are in the city he comes in with me... No one is naked he has a wee in a cubicle with me.

They are starting to see girls differently.. Though is repulsed still at the thought of kissing a girl... There needs to be a cut off somewhere but as for younger children... They need support of an adult even if they do know how to chnge there clothes

In my experience separate changing for girls and boys starts at 9/10

how disingenuous to suggest i said naked bodies were disgusting - how low do you need to stoop?

plenty of children go through a stage though where they find nudity disturbing and gross and wouldn't want to be surrounded by a roomful of naked strangers on their own without the reassurance of a parent with them.

Most pools are 8. - shools usually start seperate changing for PE in years 4/5 so 8/9 - which is both about the time kids become able enough and some girls start developing. Also old enough to have been taught about what acceptable behaviour from 'strange' ie not know adults and if you havent had a reasonable conversation with your child about this then you should have! I cannt see that its rocket science. The only area for issues is SN and that should be solved by individual leisure centers as all facilities vary.

And I always took the cue when they expressed a desire to bathe in private.

They have always been private about their bodies. And that included with their same sex sibling. It wasn't something I enforced, all that was taught was not to encroach into other people's personal space. Knock on doors before entering, be respectful of another's wishes. This was ramped up when it was obvious from birth that my son was autistic. Thankfully, he had very early intervention, and is well versed in respecting others boundaries.

Ok, add non- related males to my post. I did think about specifying, but thought it would be obvious.

Presumably though if your dd is getting changed in her room and doesnt want her 9 year old brother in there while she does it, you remove him?

We are also teaching girls that 'I feel uncomfortable' can be used to put boys into a box where they feel like an abuser.

Micah, what do women do regarding that very safe place re their home? Do I banish my teenage male child to the shed?

My daughters would be if I did this.

Plus we are also teaching boys that it doesnt matter if their behaviour makes girls uncomfortable, they should do it anyway.

Drseuss. You don't EVER get to silence another woman's opinion.

OK?

What about girls safety though, not immediately, down the line.

We're telling girls they have to put aside their discomfort at male behaviour.

So whe she feels uncomfortable about the man sitting bext to her on the train, or the male relative telling her its ok he's in the room when she gets changed, or the 17 year old lad that wants to walk her home, chances are she'll dismiss any uncomfortable feelings as she's learned they dont matter, and adults have sent the message its ok for boys to be around while she showers or changes.

We may not be putting girls at immediate risk, but we are perpetuating behaviours that put girls at risk in other situations.

Paranoid- It doesnt help re. The trans situation. Women are saying its ok to have boys in womens spaces, with no age limit. So allowing tw in isnt that much of a stretch. Ive seen so many penises in womens change recently, what does a few more matter. If we reclaim womens spaces an enforce under 8's, tw actually have less argument for using those spaces. Because at the minute it appears boys of any age can use them, on their parents say so.

The thing is child sexual abuse is so common there really is a child abuser 'on every corner'.

By your analogy, why are police bothering to catch burglars? If we only care about serious risks and we have finite resources, why not just chase murderers?

It's moving that way.

paranoiddroid, lots of posters here are on those threads too.

"I do feel that this is societal pressure and other peoples needs pushing me to do something before I feel my son is ready though"

If we live in a society and go out into that society, we have to respect other people's needs. A man might decide to come into the ladies' changing room because it has a window and he needs fresh air or he feels faint. His needs don't get to triumph over the women in the changing room.

Don't put words like "it's OK" in my mouth, Elizabeth.

By your analogy, why are police bothering to catch burglars? If we only care about serious risks and we have finite resources, why not just chase murderers?

To be perfectly honest, I hadn't thought about it at all until this thread. We go swimming as a family, have since he was born. We get changed as a family. I try and get the changing bit done ASAP as tired hungry wet children in a small space is not my favourite thing.

He is prepubescent and would rather get changed in private. So we get changed in private as a family.

I don't have an irrational fear of what might happen if he gets changed by himself in the men's. More I guess that a young boy he is more vulnerable. It's a bit vague really but I guess I see the male locker room type cliché to differ from the family changing that we are used to.

No I hadn't even thought about the other girls. Sorry. Bit about that.

We've just been doing things like this for so long I just hadn't thought. He is growing up and we need to do things differently.

I would be more comfortable leaving it until secondary age as year 4 seems so young. I do feel that this is societal pressure and other peoples needs pushing me to do something before I feel my son is ready though.

Yes women should have a safe refuge. Young boys seem to be ok but what about those between young and teenager? Seems from views on here that they just have to deal with it.

Well, yes, actually, in my experience of swimming pools!

It obviously depends where you live then.

Mine too!

Elizabeth, this mum has taken her boy to a practically deserted swimming pool but it just so
Happens that the one other person who is there is a predator on children?

it must be a statistically very low risk, albeit a serious one, compared to other times where children encounter known adults.

I can't believe you're all still busy castigating small boys for being in women's changing rooms. Jesus Christ haven't we got more urgent and dangerous things to fight against? Like the fact that any grown man with a post pubescent penis can now say he identifes as a woman and is legally entitled to use ALL women's spaces? Not to mention compete in women's sports with a bit of post pubescent hormone tinkering?

In the dim and distant past when I had to endure the horror of family swimming trips to the municipal baths I recall part of their lack of appeal was they were always heaving with other people.

I agree with Bertrand and DrSuess . This is getting close to there is a paedophile round every corner.