Another trans related one, I'm afraid

What chance does that child now have of having a normal life? How likely is it that they will be confident enough to say "I just like to wear dresses, I'm not comfortable with all this stuff, I don't want to be treated differently to the other kids". Or that he would be listened to if he did?

'Unfortunately many teachers really fall in to the trap that boys behave one way and girls another,'

Oh my god this is so true. I work in Early Years education and hear it all the flaming time. Its bad and sad enough when parents are so closed minded, but to hear educational professionals peddling the gender stereotypes really boils my blood.

"Unfortunately many teachers really fall in to the trap that boys behave one way and girls another"

I've noticed this, Jessica. My dd isn't at school yet but we know quite a few teachers in real life and they are all very much of this mind set.

'So I think the child is being horrendously let down and I can only imagine the fall out during puberty/adulthood and all because a load of adults cannot countenance a boy wearing a dress!'

I agree. A 5 year old boy showing an interest in dolls and dresses sounds perfectly normal to me, and it could be responded to calmly without all the panic and need for 'othering' him by announcing that he is now a girl. Changing his name and using female pronouns sounds utterly bonkers to me. I'm sure for some people this is just another attention-seeking bandwagon to jump on.

I'm sympathetic to trans people, and certainly don't condone any nasty or abusive behavior towards them, but very much agree with other posters that women should not be expected just to suck it up and move aside and shut up and do what they're told by yet another group.

Coco, you are definitely not BU. What did the school say?

The thing is every child is gender non-conforming to some degree. I don't believe a single person lives up to the cultural-specific expectations of their gender entirely. Even my mil, who is thoroughly subscribed to the girl/boy brain theory and attributes every little thing a child does to their sex (and has started doing the same to her dogs), is not entirely gender conforming. I understand why it is used in this context especially, but I'm fed up of it. All of it!

Sorry that isn't helpful. Can you ask the school for a copy of what the children were taught? See if there is any obvious stereotyping that you can bring up with them? I think the idea of getting them in touch with let toys be toys is a great one.

And I'm another one who would be trans if the current climate existed when I grew up. I definitely wanted to be a boy when I was in primary school - they got to do all the cool things. Fortunately, I had parents who kindly explained science to me (much like when DSis wanted to be a sheep) and pointed out that girls can do cool stuff too. And they bought me lego - proper lego, not the stupid pinkified stuff.

One of my dd's friends identifies as a girl, and has done more-or-less since reception. She took a girl name and the female pronoun in y2. school is totally supportive of her, but there is no sense at all that any other parents have any need to know anything. Basically it's not our business. My dp doesn't want dd changing with her friend and we very much feel that we are being unreasonable for having said that.

Monison, there's not a lot the school can do. They have a statutory duty to support trans students.

Unfortunately many teachers really fall in to the trap that boys behave one way and girls another, so for many the idea of "wrong body" probably doesn't register as an issue. I work in an all boys school, and the amount of teachers who have given up on the idea that boys can be organised is ridiculous. A fair few look at me like I'm insane when I point out that the boys are choosing not to be organised, and that after a week or two of issuing sanctions for students who forgot stuff they all managed to come properly equipped for lessons.

You do have to be careful in raising it though - make sure you make it crystal clear that the problem you have is with children being presented with the idea that girls can literally become boys and vice versa. School should be teaching them proper science (or at least not getting it totally wrong).

"most of my issues surrounded equality more than wanting to be male" - ditto

I,m grateful that at least in the 70's people just accepted girls like me as 'tomboys' no one tried to change me

I was the same paranoiddroid. Grew up in the 70's total 'tomboy' never wore a dress lived in boys clothes, insisted all my hair was cut short. played football, was allowed to join Cubs before that was even a thing. totally rejected everything that was 'girly' and that I wished i was a boy. Mainly because as far as I could see, boys got to do the more fun things like science and woodwork and climbing rocks etc. and that was what I wanted to do.
In this day and age I would have definitely been labelled as trans. I dread to think what would have happened. Hit puberty and happy enough being female, most of my issues surrounded equality more than wanting to be male.

Bloody hell, I hope this trans thing is done before I have kids in school.

it is wrong of parents to automatically assume they have a transgender child rather than a gender non-conforming child. And I do think there is a massive trend at the moment to pressurise people into assuming that if their child is gender non-conforming then they must be trans.

totally agree with this. 5 year old boys playing with dolls are very, very unlikely to be genuinely trans or body dysmorphic imo, they are just gender non-conforming to the ludicrous polarised male/female blue/pink stereotypes society has relentlessly being pushing in the last 20/30 years (in the Western world anyway - I don't see legions of African children's parents queueing up to say their children are trans).

I was a standard 70's tomboy - dressed like a boy, got everyone to call me a boys name for awhile, played with stereotypical boys toys etc - I am still not very "girly" as an adult and do a technical job that attracts many more men than women - but I have never once felt that I am not or shouldn't be a woman. I enjoy pregnancy and having children immensely. I dread to think what would have happened if I'd been born more recently because I'd surely have been labelled as trans in many sections of society and even been given hormones to prevent puberty, which I'd now be very pissed off about.

I too would be going batshit with the school. Since when did a psychological disorder with treatment requiring life changing medication and/or surgery become just another lifestyle choice?

Catatonic, I imagine that having seen what your partner has gone through, you more than anyone would understand that transition is an extremely serious business and should not be presented to children as 'just' one option among many others?

Can you get the PTA involved in something like 'let toys be toys' or #stillaboy #stillagirl ? It might help to create some debate about gender roles and identities without all this binary pink = girl even with a penis bollocks.

God I'm sick of this shit as well. Sex is binary apart from people with actual intersex conditions. Children are biologically male or female. Its gender that's non binary and if we just keft kids alone to be themesleves intead of pushing all the pink/blue shit on them and then confusing them further with all this identifying as female stuff, trans, gender fluid etc options everyone would be a lot better off.

couldn't have put it better myself

Then I'm happy to be an illiberal bigot. Because this is one of the biggest threats to women and frankly if this was my dd's school I'd be going batshit that this is being pushed.

There is a clear agenda and I'm fed up with it. According to the government whitewash 1% of the population identify as trans. They should of course be able to live life without threats of violence or discrimination but that doesn't mean you get to take a crap over the rights of 50% of the population to avoid some hurt feelings.

We should be teaching our children acceptance of who they are not that if Martin likes dolls and glitter he must be mavis.

I've read that article before, Xxed - it's a great piece. Thanks for reminding me about it.

I'm sorry Catatonic, there is no doubt in my mind that transgender has become a trendy cause and that some people are just jumping on the bandwagon, or confused with all the peer pressure they're under. It doesn't mean there aren't genuine cases, like your partner. It doesn't mean that I'm prejudiced and ignorant and homophobic and want trans people to suffer, and I'd rather like people like you to stop saying it does. How about you try a little bit of that understanding you're so keen to prescribe to others and try to get your head around what trans ideology means for women's rights and for young children, like the ones mentioned in the OP? It shouldn't be a one way street. We have genuine and legitimate concerns, and we're just getting told to shut up, no understanding or tolerance there.

God I'm sick of this shit as well. Sex is binary apart from people with actual intersex conditions. Children are biologically male or female. Its gender that's non binary and if we just keft kids alone to be themesleves intead of pushing all the pink/blue shit on them and then confusing them further with all this identifying as female stuff, trans, gender fluid etc options everyone would be a lot better off.

CatatonicSonic as a black lesbian I am sick to my back teeth with people associating gender critical feminism with homophobia or racism.

It's not the same thing, not even kind of not even a little bit.

www.commondreams.org/views/2015/06/15/jenner-dolezal-one-trans-good-other-not-so-much