Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

"Is it for a girl or a boy?"

39 replies

ZeldaTheWindBreaker · 21/01/2016 22:53

I popped into Subway today to pick up a kids' pack for my daughter. Got to the till and was asked, "Is it for a boy or a girl?"

I was a bit confused, but after a few moments clicked on to the fact that it was so the assistant could put the food into the 'correct' bag. I was quite uncomfortable and just said it doesn't matter, any would do. Assistant looked at me strangely and said she had to know for stock reasons. Confused

There was a queue of about 6 people behind me (and she was the only staff member in the front of the shop) so I didn't feel as though I could press any sort of point without causing unnecessary inconvenience and extra stress for the assistant.

So i just said girl. And instantly felt annoyed with myself.

The bag is white and has r2d2 on it ...

So not pink and flowery as I was expecting due to her asking if it was for a boy or girl. I wonder what the 'boy' one looks like, if anyone could enlighten me?

My question is - how would you have reacted in this situation if you were me? Baring in mind the poor woman looked stressed out and there was a large queue of people behind you waiting to be served.

I'm still feeling annoyed at myself and wonder if I would have perhaps felt braver to refuse to give my daughter's gender for the sake of 'getting the right bag' if there weren't as many people behind me.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 22/01/2016 00:50

It's still a think in McD's in Canada. I always ask, "what are the toys". DD looks then chooses. Not my fault they waste their time asking about sex when they could ask, "pony or car?".

NameChange30 · 21/01/2016 23:15

I remember going to McDonald's when I was a child (in the late 80s/early 90s) and they always had Happy Meals "for girls" or "for boys". I remember being unimpressed with my "girl" toy and going up to ask for the "boy" one! How tragic that this is still a thing. If I came across it I'm sure I'd struggle not to be snappy!

RudeElf · 21/01/2016 23:09

Oh yes i see lots of "anyone selling a boy's pram" on FB. I sit on my hands a lot to avoid being banned from selling pages.

Roobix04 · 21/01/2016 23:08

My sister argued with a woman in primark when she helpfully pointed out that the pj's she was buying my dd were boys pj's and therefore unsuitable. She had bought a pack of pink vests and blue pj's. Her boyfriend sloped off as she had a quick rant Grin

VashtaNerada · 21/01/2016 23:07

x-post emwithme

VashtaNerada · 21/01/2016 23:05

I've had this in McDonalds before (they tried girl/boy Happy Meals once and it got such bad publicity they never did it again). I gave her the Paddington Bear hard stare and asked what the choice was. She just repeated "girl or boy" so I said "no, what choice of toy is there?". We got there in the end.
I just can't let it go nowadays, I once reprimanded a woman in a toy shop for calling Lego Friends 'Girl Lego'. DH was mortified Grin

Original poster
ZeldaTheWindBreaker · 21/01/2016 23:03

Thank you for sharing my annoyance! I also see this over Facebook selling groups a lot. It really, really frustrates me. But i worry I will always look like the fool if i point out how daft it is. Really don't think I could have said anything today in Subway though without causing a riot amongst the hungry people queuing behind me. I'd already taken up lots of the assistant's time as I wanted a bit of everything on mine from the salad bar. Grin

No idea why her boss couldn't have stopped counting his money at the till for a moment to shove on some gloves and help her out. Hmm

OP posts:
emwithme · 21/01/2016 23:03

I had this issue in McDonalds. I needed something small and quick at a motorway services and so a chicken nugget happy meal seemed to tick the boxes.

I was asked whether it was for a girl or a boy. I said "I'd like the Hot Wheels please" (because a car is far more fun than a bloody princess) and was asked again "Girl or Boy". They didn't seem to appreciate the response that it was for me and I'd like the car please.

I tweeted McDonalds about it and they said that they should ask "car or princess" (as appropriate)

Roobix04 · 21/01/2016 23:02

Gah it's like the whole pink and blue kinder egg thing. They were all one colour when I was a kid! I saw a woman tell her granddaughter that she couldn't have one once as there was only "boys" ones left. I visibly winced.
But I probably would have done the same as you op as I have social anxiety and like to end stuff like that as quickly as possible.

RudeElf · 21/01/2016 23:00

Ok so there are 8 bags, why cant they just number the bags on a display screen and say "which bag?"

RudeElf · 21/01/2016 22:59

And yes, the bag he gave her wasnt pink and sparkly. Just white with some character on it. I was Confused

Original poster
ZeldaTheWindBreaker · 21/01/2016 22:59

Sorry, for those not familiar with subway and have no idea what I'm yabbering about - kids' packs always come with a themed bag and usually a little activity book (though i didn't get one of those). The current theme is Star Wars.

This is the bag i was given after telling her it was for a girl. the second one in the top row. Just realised it does have pink in it after all.

"Is it for a girl or a boy?"
OP posts:
RudeElf · 21/01/2016 22:57

I knew this would be about subway! Grin

I was in yesterday and a little girl behind me wanted a kids sub. The guy asked "for a girl or boy?" And i almost snapped "what does it matter?" At him Blush i caught myself before i made a complete dick of myself. But seriously. WHAT DOES IT MATTER?

FannyGlum · 21/01/2016 22:57

I'd have done the same, I've got myself into arguments in Facebook seeing groups over the same question. Recently a woman was looking for a v-tech camera. Someone asked "is it for a girl or a boy?" I couldn't help myself, so I asked why it mattered did the camera have to operated with genitals?
She pointed out that they come in pink and blue. Sigh, I constantly get told I'm being ridiculous over the question.