"Is it for a girl or a boy?"

Once the lady had led me to the rack she asked if they were for a boy or girl. I looked at her like this  and said it didn't really make any difference since my child has two hands with five fingers on each. I didn't want to make too much of a fuss because it's a small independent retailer. It it had been a chain I'd have ranted merrily

Why not, whether it was an independent shop or a chain store, simply say " It doesn't matter, any colour will keep small hands warm".

You can still get your point across, and, I think , in a way that is clear without being patronising.

Or is it simply more satisfying to "rant merrily" at chain store assistant who is just doing her job?

The assistant is doing her job. I can think of at 3 friends who have small daughters, 2 of whom would not want or like gender neutral clothing, even in gloves. The other is of the, doesn't matter as long as it does the job persuasion.

I always say any toy is fine, I nearly always get a look.

I had my DD in a private hospital and they provided baby clothes for while you were there - there was a communal changing unit with drawers underneath in each room (4 mums per room).
I put DD in a blue baby grow, and got told off by one of the nurses. Apparently if everyone did that, they would run out of clothes for the boys (there weren't actually any boy babies in our room).

McDonalds didn't ban it, they did it for ages. I don't think they do it any more in the UK but they do in Germany. However they tend to do the numbering thing here, too, so DS just chooses the number of the toy he wants.

but what if you get the gender wrong chloe?

I hate this with a passion. I walked into a shop the other day and asked if they stock children's gloves. Once the lady had led me to the rack she asked if they were for a boy or girl. I looked at her like this and said it didn't really make any difference since my child has two hands with five fingers on each. I didn't want to make too much of a fuss because it's a small independent retailer. It it had been a chain I'd have ranted merrily.

I also bite my tongue on facebook selling pages with the boy/girl thing

You could just say "it doesn't matter, it's for a child, they have toys in them, either is fine"

Which would save time and blood pressure and would perhaps get your point across to the assistant as opposed to making a point which, as you apparently know , from past experience, will miss the mark.

When I'm asked if something is for a girl or boy I answer yes, it is for a girl or boy. They repeat, I repeat, they repeat, I repeat, they get fed up and realise I'm not going to go away so ask if I want x or y. DH refuses to go to subway with me anymore.

Black widow is not a minor character!! Especially not in Age of Ultron!

Shes also my DS2s favourite :)

Or they could have just used whichever bag they had on the top of the pile (lucky dip effect).

My dd is an Avengers fan. You can never ever get anything with Black Widow. I can see that she is a slightly more minor character, alongside Hawkeye, but there's been plenty of stuff with basically all of the case except Black Widow.

Still the good thing about the 'where's Rey' controversy is that it might (maybe, possibly) mean that toys for cool girl characters from movies etc are more likely to be produced in the future.

Not that that's likely to change the current trend for gendered toys, despite the harm that causes.

Ok so there are 8 bags, why cant they just number the bags on a display screen and say "which bag?"

Because you'd be there for approx 10 min per child as they tried to choose (45 min if it were my kids).

A choice of whichever 2 they've got in stock would be fine though.

I doubt that's the case though, unless you all live in my little town?

It seems to be a Subway thing with this promotion. Not even the tiniest clue why, because there's no obvious difference.

I've emailed Subway though.

Ok so there are 8 bags, why cant they just number the bags on a display screen and say "which bag?"

Quite - who were the other 7 for?

OP, perhaps write to Subway suggesting assistants should ask "which bag would you like? " (Although a choice of 8 might lead to excessive dithering)

Giving the assistant a lecture on gender politics would have been unfair.
.

I will soon be giving away some baby stuff on my local free baby-stuff page. I KNOW it shouldn't bother me, but if anyone asks girl or boy, a little part of me wants to not give them anything. I was given my pram for free from one of these pages, didn't know what colour it we got it. (Beggars can't be choosers and ffs how is a blue pram going to affect a baby girl?)

It just doesn't matter.

Don't start me on the maternity nurse who asked 'Who's baby is that?' when I was holding DD on the ward in a blue sleepsuit. Fucking muppet

Re McDonalds - I worked there in the mid 90s while doing my A Levels. I'm not sure whether it was just the manager at the store I worked at, or whether it was corporate policy, but whenever there was a choice of Happy Meal toy, we were told to name the toys (eg "Barbie or Hot Wheels") rather than specify boy or girl. I think that's why it rankled so much to be asked whether I wanted a boy or girl toy 20 years later, and really does show how much more gendered the world is for children now than it was when I was growing up, which is disappointing.

Re: Rey - My over-riding thought about her in the film was that her clothing was appropriate for the tasks she was undertaking and her hair was sensible and tied back! I'm sick of seeing female action leads doing what they're doing in high heels, evening clothes (or less) and flowy hair all over the place. It annoys me that they never have to stop what they're doing because their hair has got in their face or caught up in a door as they fling themselves through it dramatically.

I really struggle with this, not just the gendered toys shite, but boys actually have to be taught not to like pink.
I haven't taught DS, so at 4 1/2 he's still a fan.

We had this in Macdonalds once - they didn't ask girl or boy though - just said 'which toy' - DS1 picked Barbie, and DS2 picked Skylanders, and no-one minded. (DS was feeling that he had enough male dolls, and was quite taken with the mini-barbie's hair. DS2 had noticed that the skylander had a shield that shot off, so wanted that).

I guess it depends on the management of the particular store, but can certainly be fixed if they want.

I've always just asked what the difference is if someone asked me boy or girl, then let the kids choose based on that, but having a 2 year old bouncing up and down yelling for the pink one (he's in that phase), generally distracts the assistant and the queue behind enough that no-one gets annoyed.

If you're in the UK they only tried it once recently Stitches (Barbie/Hot Wheels) and the publicity was really awful, it hasn't happened again!
I don't think it's hard for assistants at all to say "pink or blue?" or "Barbie or Hot Wheels?". It's much, much easier surely

I went to McDonald's with my boys yesterday and we were just handed Happy Meals with only questions about the type of food / drink we wanted with them.

I had no idea that they had separate girl / boy themed ones (the toy was about the Peanuts movie anyway so fairly generic for either sex)

It is tough for the assistants. While you are all annoyed at being asked, they get grief from other parents if you offer both options when the child is either clearly a boy or girl.

Assistant asks the mother of a little girl 'girl option or boy option', mother replies 'girl obviously! Why would she want a boys toy?' and huffs off.

Assistants can't win.

I find myself posting this a lot on idiotic FB threads about how girls are genetically programmed to like pink shit, but boys shouldnt touch it in case they catch the gay.

I ask for a babychino in a local cafe. They asked if it was for a boy or a girl. I was a but taken a back and said boy. Out come a blue cup with blue sprinkle. I just don't get it. I mean it's hot milk.