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Original poster

I have made a most unfeminist decision and I am struggling with it

107 replies

PacificDogwod · 19/01/2016 20:48

I identify as a feminist, but have made a rather unfeminist choice last year that I fully intend to stick with, but am struggling to reconcile with my feminist convictions.

Is that 'allowed'?
Does it make me a hypocrite?? I suspect so.
Is there some validity in believing in certain principles but not living by them when it comes to the crunch??
Can certain principles be right and proper but don't applied in all cases??

I'd rather make this a general discussion than going in to ins and outs of it all wrt to us here - we've got a very good counsellor for that Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
PacificDogwod · 19/01/2016 20:57

Oh, I'm not miserable, the ugly boil that burst last year was a fecking relief in all honesty. And things are better than they have been between us for years, so onwards and upwards.

I know I would be ok if I had decided otherwise and left, I am very able practically, financially and emotionally to go it alone, but I opted not to. And I am not quite sure why…

I am rather relived nobody has shouted at me yet Grin

OP posts:
WilLiAmHerschel · 19/01/2016 20:57

I think as much as you might want all your choices to be 'feminist' ones, we don't live in a world that makes that easy. Plus in a truly equal future we should be able to make bad choices and not be seen as letting down the team if you see what I mean.

Original poster
PacificDogwod · 19/01/2016 20:55

Just kidding too Grin

Serious relationship shit, boring predictable longterm relationship nonsense, really not worth getting in to the details of. And I've decide to stay and carry on, even though I realise my advice on the Relationship board would be otherwise HmmConfusedBlush

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 19/01/2016 20:54

I don't think it makes you a hypocrite.

I think you'd be hard pressed to find any feminist who hasn't made some compromises. I think it is normal.

But I think it's really hard if those compromises are make you miserable - that's the bottom line.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 19/01/2016 20:54

You don't need to make every choice for womankind. What suits you won't suit everybody else.

If you're happy and everyone else is happy then you've made a satisfactory decision for yourself. Life is a compromise

Original poster
PacificDogwod · 19/01/2016 20:53

I bought pink knickers! I know, I need to give up my feminist member card

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 19/01/2016 20:51

I can't decide without knowing. :o

Just kidding, I'm just nosy.

I personally am a feminist even though I've made choices that others would consider unfeminist. I don't care. I choose, not them. I am very committed to the advancement of women and girls and their equality. I am a feminist.