Performing Femininity and Feminism

Such an interesting thread. I am 'required' to perform femininity in my job. I say required because of course everyone would deny it but there is a clear correlation between female success and femininity. At the same time, I am pretty assertive and - perhaps because I look so feminine - there is no question that I suffer from accusations of being bolshy when, in fact, I am just challenging ideas that do not hold water. I struggle with feedback from my (male) superiors that says I need to find a way to be more accommodating to others. Doing so would undoubtably make me less good at my job (which my superiors agree I am good at). So it's a real catch 22.

I wasn't suggesting any of that Jeanne, that's obviously your interpretation of it.

The 'what she was wearing' was indeed used as a defence, pre 20th century, however, rape cases rarely came to court then.

It's interesting to note that the Suffragettes conformed to fashion and colour to specifically make them a) feminine but also b) for women's rights. They specifically wanted to counter the criticism that they were mannish in clothing and behaviour.

Critique. Even funnier.

This week I am mostly wearing clothes.

Also, 'but what was she wearing' arguments long predate 50s dresses, or indeed the 20th century.

It's interesting that the dresses of the 50s weren't actually shorter than previously - in fact, they were longer, possibly because all that material suggested wealth after the war, possibly because they're more overtly 'feminine' and less overtly 'practical'. But I always think reading about these things just shows how quick we are to put all of the emphasis on what women wore, and not on what men wore. Even looking at history, we're all much more concerned with women's fashions and what they say. Men, OTOH, are presumed able to speak for themselves, even when they're wearing high heels.

I think there is a subtle pressure to insist that certain clothes must be interpreted as restrictive, because we associate them with certain types of behaviour. So, there's no logical reason why a 50's skirt is necessarily more restrictive than a pair of thigh-clenching men's ballcrusher jeans, but it suits us to imagine that 50's women were caged up by their clothes, whereas men in too-tight jeans are just being daft and wearing silly clothes, with no gender analysis needed.

Literary critic - that's funny!

But of course the short dresses and available contraceptives lead to the 'but what was she wearing?' when it came to rape cases.

Now it seems to be 'Don't walk alone at night', 'Don't drink too much.'

sianandcrookedrib.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/how-do-i-know-rape-culture-isnt-myth.html

I had to google MLP my little pony, so they are 'bronies'

Oh and several pairs of mens socks

Please what is MLP?
And today I'm wearing (twirls Miss World Style) riding wellies,waterproof leggings (lined) navy waterproof parker style thing (inherited) topped with a liberal layer of slurry (cow shit).
Underneath jeans with holes, cashmere jumper (EBay I think it's a women's) silk vest (man's from a climbing shop) underwear knickers -Sainsbury, bra - EBay, legs and muff as nature intended, armpits shaved.

Today I look particularly fetching

I just hate this phrase.

What are masculine clothes?

Women in the 1920s started to wear trousers, though many women had subverted this 'male' wearing of fashion before then. The fashion for female trousers were very different from what the men wore at that time. Eventually, male clothes fashion copied the female fashion. This carried on, especially important was the introduction of shorts for men, most liberating and the abandonment of garters to hold up socks.

The backlash came in the 50s when women were put back in their place after the war effort. With the 60s came the women's liberation movement and (funny enough - no coincidence whatsoever), the mass marketing of the contraceptive pill, which had been developed and tested in the 30s.

Cue cute short dresses, suggestive of sexual availability, without pregnancy, and women could be sexual beings themselves, without censure (but still having to conform to gender difference).

What we have now are women crippled with high stiletto heels, tight dresses that restrict movement and display body. This all within the workplace.

I think it might be a class thing but that is real quicksand territory

I went to a funeral yesterday, this thread was high up in my mind as I waited outside the church for a friend. (She's poor at performing femininity and had her trousers tucked into her socks when she arrived) Me I'd done the frock leggings and boots thing - I don't own black trousers.
Most of the women were not doing anything like a performance, whiskers unplucked, sensible footwear, no makeup.
The one or two that had looked out of place, silly.
Most of the people who attended were country, farming people, a few racing and hunting folk, and a couple of publicans

The performance and the need to do it must be age and class specific.

Or am I missing something?

This is an interesting conversation, I'm intrigued to see how many different perceptions there are about performing femininity, and how well or badly we all think we do it.

I'm a middle of the road performer. I have long hair, but it's rarely styled and my make up bag can go untouched for weeks at a time. Jeans in winter, shorts in summer. Hair off lower legs and underarms and anything that would hang out of a bathing suit. Nails short and unpainted.

I've gone through phases of being much more conforming, particularly when I worked a corporate job - tailored suits, high heels, manicures etc. I always thought of it as a kind of drag, it was just a costume that I had to wear. Likewise for going out clothes, it would amuse me to wear a tiny little dress, big hair, loads of makeup and sky high heels - because I'm already six foot, wearing heels is quite entertainingly subversive when it makes you tower above most men. Much hilarity can ensue I CBA any more with that though, I'd rather be comfy.

This is such an interesting thread, wish I'd seen it earlier! I'm quite feminine in the way I look and dress. I haven't work trousers for years. It is physically much more comfortable. OTOH I rarely bother with the level of 'feminine' grooming a lot of women who dress much less 'feminine' than I do, do bother with. Swings and roundabouts.

I am slightly uncomfortable about some of the ideas around 'performing femininity'. There seems to be an increasing drive, not to make it ok for women to dress how they like, nor to help each other to stop the 'performing' bit, but to celebrate masculinity. It's just going from one narrow stereotype to another one. I'm thinking that 'dapper lesbian' look, if you know what I mean, which has crossed over into mainstream? I think is a great look, don't get me wrong, but it is nevertheless a very clear performance of identity, isn't it?

I know women who have very time-consuming styled haircuts, who spend a lot of money on tailored shirts and fancy shoes, and some who wear binders - those things are not, I would argue, less restrictive/expensive than 'traditional' markers of performed gender like high heels and painted nails.

And as someone who wears dresses and looks feminine, it slightly irritates me when I get patronising comments about how easy it must be for me, given I 'conform'.

My ds (16) also likes MLP partly in order to push other people's buttons. He's a long haired suit wearer where my dd (14) is a short (currently pink but often blue) haired, baggy shirt and leggings/jeans kind of girl. I like that they are both comfortable wearing what they want to, regardless of social expectations. ds more than dd because he is much more confident and outgoing and actively enjoys winding people up and then slapping them down when they show their prejudices. Not totally sure whether that's a positive trait!

I would have described myself as not very feminine. I certainly don't consciously perform femininity, in that I'm naturally very scruffy and have to check that I'm not quite inappropriately dressed at times. I never wear make up or heels, rarely wear dresses/skirts and usually have had my hair short. Oh and i don't wear a bra (too uncomfortable). I can be a bit dominant/aggressive too, although I am also socially shy. When we did gender testing a while back I scored as a man (not even a trans man, but a biological man, showing to me how ridiculous those tests are). However reading some of the earlier comments about being thought of as a bit butch if you aren't actively feminine I checked with my dh and he said he thought that I had very feminine mannerisms. Which surprised me a lot. Hew even said I walked like a woman, something I've always put down to heels.

I've been very lucky at work and can't remember much sexism beyond my early experiences as a junior manager in the NHS with some of the senior doctors. I am in a very specialist field though, so I know that my knowledge and expertise is in short supply.

onahorse, we have never steered ds1. At almost 14 he is as likely to wear his MLP shirt as his glittery dr who one. (He actually prefers the MLP one. And we have bought him MLP pyjama pants for Christmas ) He took ballet until 7, but is now back in tap. At 4 the dance teacher dressed him as a merman in head to toe sequins. I do suspect that he deliberately chooses the MLP these days to subvert norms (performance if you will) but it will be interesting to see how this changes. He's a passionate advocate for people to be able to dress and act how they want to (his best friend last year was FTM) but is in all honesty a fairly average boy. I find it fascinating how he grins and subverts expectations with the MLP, and is so adamant on behalf of his friend. at the moment he likes to be 'different', so is obviously aware of what conforming looks like... I wonder if it will kick in?

I definitely agree that the rise of geek-dom and LARP has made it acceptable at least in some social circles to free your wardrobe into unorthodox realms. I don't know enough about it to consider options for women in that sphere though? Is LARP itself gendered?

I too think this is a very interesting thread.

I was thinking about tax on 'luxury goods' such as sanitary protection, and have given my opinions on that thread. And of course the counter argument often is that men need shaving products and so they are taxed. Well they don't actually, that's their choice. But it got me thinking do women now have a choice as to whether they shave their legs and underarms and increasingly their pubic regions? Women do this to perform femininity and avoid derision from, not only their own sex, but the opposite sex as well. So it's now not a choice. Removing bodily hair cannot be for hygiene reasons as men have bodily hair and they don't think like this.

I generally don't perform femininity, though I do like to dress up occasionally. I think there is nothing more smarter than a woman in a suit, short hair, and flat shoes. The woman who dresses like this looks so fantastic and powerful.

This is an interesting thread.

I usually wear trousers and always flat shoes to work and my make up bag only comes out for special occasions...so I don't really 'perform feminity' in that sense. I wonder if it's mainly due to the the female influences I had growing up, my mum for example only really sticks a bit of makeup on for weddings and christmas so I'm not sure how aware I would even have been of makeup as a concept when I was little. Plus my gran looked after me a lot too and she has no time for 'vanity' or 'frivolousness'.

Thanks Vestal, that sounds exciting, I'll look.