DD says she no longer labels herself a feminist

lol @ trib. ha ha.

do they not teach them about it in school?

so far my 11 year old is all over feminism and asking a lot of (good) questions about patriarchy i.e. why have men always run everything in the past etc.

it will be interesting to see if it changes as she gets older.

I identified as a feminist as a teen girl and got a lot of hate for it. it is hard to stand up against the mainstream. Hopefully it's just a phase....

The boys in tripple science would tell my dd to go make them a sandwich in food tech, that's what made my dd turn to feminism. I agree parents should turn off the wifi and speak to these boys.

Like the other posters, I don't think she's lost to the cause forever, just a shame that this is still a thing so many decades after we thought it should be acceptable to say 'hey boy I am your equal'.

14 year olds do generally talk total bollocks so I'd feign amused tolerance and/or do that thing where teens dye their hair pink so their parents dye theirs orange in a fake show of support. Say you're thinking about no longer labelling yourself as a feminist too and maybe offering to take a paycut in order to widen the pay gap further, see what she says.

But the whole landscape teens are living in is a big depressing from a feminist point of view whilst also making it hard for them - the world is generally telling them one thing while we're telling them another.

Christ, it's annoying isn't it?

Maybe she KNOWS he's being a twat and wants you to argue the point?

Or maybe not. Not much you can do other than calmly state your case.

I have 2 much older ds and they were like too, but you just have to educate them.
It's pretty ingrained and you just have to chip away at it child by child.

As grown ups my sons aren't anti feminist at all in fact I can see how their generation has evolved, it's just slow.
They weren't bad lads, just ill informed.

Feminists were definitely lesbian, men hating, girls so to a boy who had a snog or more on his mind you would be less attractive to him.
You just educate.

That's not odd, Harriet - girls are more vulnerable to male violence, and their self-esteem is eroded by media, so it makes sense that they would be more concerned about what others think about them. Males won't get labeled "ugly" and "man-hating" for defending feminism.

Your son's behaviour is sad - actually, if I were you, I think I'd take his internet access away and make him read a book by an actual feminist instead. (Not saying that you should. It's just what I would do because I feel antifeminism is the same as misogyny and it makes me angry.)

I think she is just trying to fit in too
You have brought her up the way you have and she will have gained your values and they will be hers too.
Honestly don't worry.
If it's any consolation, she obviously doesn't want to be labelled.
My dd appears to be shouting about sexual discrimination all over the place, she's only 11. This means the message is getting through to the younger girls she hasn't been brought up by a feminist, not in my book anyway.
While I'm here perhaps somebody could recommend some books for her, but not too challenging

I would say, whatever makes you happy and give her a kiss. She will soon see this guy for who he is.

Has she really thought about the fact that this boy likes her less because she believes that women are equal to men? Has she she thought about the fact that he might be less attractive to her because he doesn't believe women are equal to men? Has she thought about punching him in the balls?

If she was tweeting for TYFA, I'm sure she'll get over it and normality will be restored. Try and wait it out.

I've noticed that there is a lot of anti-feminist crap being spouted by teenagers lately, particularly on FB. Lots of posts of overweight women labelled "This is what a feminist looks like". Unfortunately my own ds (15) spouts it too, but when challenged he claims that he's all for equality but that feminists just hate men. He's a bright, articulate boy and I've pointed out that the word he's looking for is "misandrist" not "feminist", but still he persists because everyone else is doing it. He does now know the difference but chooses to ignore so he can follow the herd.
I think it's sad that so many teens have this view and I pop up on his FB threads now and again to publicly remind him that if it wasn't for feminists he wouldn't have clothes on his back, a roof over his head or an ipod to use for FB as his mother wouldn't be educated or working.
It's amazing how it's often his female friends who are the first to distance themselves from feminism yet males, oddly, defend it.

Maybe that will cheer you up: whatever.scalzi.com/2014/09/25/an-anti-feminist-walks-into-a-bar-a-play-in-five-acts/

That's how I feel if a man tells me that I "lost points" for being a feminist.

Spot on Vestal. 14 years old is a riot.

If she is well read this won't be fooling her. She's just trying to fit in sadly.

You look like you could use some hot chocolate.

It's so sad that she actually thinks this idiot is worth her time when he talks about her like that.

But such is the mental state of teenagers. Insecurity is sort of part of it. (Or so I am told. I didn't have a peer group when I was a teenager, which in retrospect might have benefitted my health)

I'd just treat it as her being in an abusive relationship. Which means no arguing against her new stance, as she will feel the need to justify.
Try to give her more self-esteem. Reassure her when she doubts her self-worth, her intellect, etc.