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Original poster

changed my surname but hate this way of being addressed

32 replies

DidIMissSomething · 05/10/2015 11:01

I took my husbands surname on marriage which I'm happy with - we married young and actually a new name gave me a chance to forge my own identity. However I've noticed more and more recently that we are referred to as Mr and Mrs his initial surname or infuriatingly I alone am addressed as Mrs his initial surname. This drives me nuts. Yes we've got one family name but I do still exist as a separate person not just an appendage.

Should I challenge this - I feel like I should. DDs new school has just distributed a contact list where we are listed like this and I really hate it.

OP posts:
ALassUnparalleled · 06/10/2015 01:04

I felt grown up and official when I got my first cheque book , aged 18, with my name on it, which is still my name.

scallopsrgreat · 06/10/2015 00:42

It's funny (or not so funny) how men don't feel grown up by being called by their wife's name, isn't it?

I didn't even change my name and get addressed like this (not by the school though thankfully!). By people who should know better. It's insulting tbh.

Spidertracker · 05/10/2015 16:35

Not something that bothers me. I married and changed my name at 18 and being Mrs his initial his surname felt grown up and official.
I still like it now on the rare occasion ,now we have lost my grandmothers, that we get a letter addressed that way.

Pedestriana · 05/10/2015 16:31

Annoys me too. I'm Ms XYZ MySurnameHisSurname he is Mr ABC HisSurname

But we get loads of post to Mr & Mrs XYZ HisSurname.

Original poster
DidIMissSomething · 05/10/2015 16:27

Yes ideally Mr x and Mrs Y Surname or just no initials at all - it's giving me his initial that really gets my back up. I'm sure most people would think I'm over reacting and if I'm so bothered shouldn't have taken his name but I married nearly 20 years ago and my views have matured in that time!

OP posts:
LittleRedSparke · 05/10/2015 14:23

so you want to be Mr XXX and Mrs XXX in letters etc? Instead of Mr & Mrs [his initial] XXX? Yeah, I wouldnt like that

I would be annoyed to be Mrs [his initial] XXX but Mr & Mrs XXX wouldnt bother me

NiNoKuni · 05/10/2015 14:20

Oh, I really hate that. It's like my identity is being subsumed into his. Definitely tell them not to do it.