9 things that do make you a better feminist

Giraffe

The men can be feminists thing is far from decided across all feminism. It's a matter of personal judgement. Perhaps the analogy with racism is apt. Have you ever seen the South Park episode where Token tells Stan he just doesn't get it? He doesn't get what it's like to be a black person and called the n word because he's not black. And that's the point. White people don't know what it's like to have been born into a legacy of slavery, prejudice, oppression and sub-human status based on skin colour and to still be dealing with the after-effects of that to this day and need to respect that.

Similarly, men don't know what it's like to be born into a legacy of oppression and sub-human status based on genitalia and still be dealing with the effects to this day. So this is, IMO, why some feminists don't think men can be feminists, only allies. They don't get it.

There's also plenty of stuff about men taking over any space they're in, hogging the limelight, talking over women and so on. Feminism is a movement for women by women and needs to be led by women, not men (who don't get it). You may disagree and that's cool. I think it really does depend on your own definition and understanding of feminism.

(I can't resist, I am sorry, but Muphry's Law applies to your post in points 5 and 6 )

Why are people so worried about women possibly not liking men or not having sex with them?
Murphy points out, if a woman feels like this, it's because of male violence. Or she is a lesbian.

Look at the world and crime stats, the big problem is male hatred of women. What sort of problem does some woman who hates men and doesn't date them cause? How violent are women? Yet this seems to be people's number one concern about feminism. Meanwhile, most feminists usually do not hate men, just violent and misogynist behaviour.

Needascarf- there are plenty of women (not actual separatists) who lead lives where men are largely absent.

For the time I was an unemployed single mum I barely ever had any contact with any men.

If you have a small family with few/no male relatives, no male friends and don't work with men then your life becomes very female centric.

Oh gods, I read the original listicle and now my brain hurts!

Is it me, or does Murphy's article feel a little bit like a response to anti-feminism and choice feminism on Twitter? Not that there's anything wrong with that. I do agree with much of what she says and maybe it needs saying in the face of the Bustle shiteola.

With the hating men thing - I'd interpret that as hating men under patriarchy is OK for some women who have been hurt by patriarchy and/or don't wish to be defined by their relationship with men as a class or as individuals. And so what if one woman hates men? It doesn't tend to end up with the rape and violence that the other way round so often does.

6) Not accusing feminists of hating sex and men like it??s a bad thing

Had to read that sentence about 5 times to work out what it meant but maybe that's just me.

Agree with a lot of the points but that one is a bit iffy, although could just be me misunderstanding.

It's okay to hate sex, it's okay to hate sex with men, it's okay to not find men attractive or appealing. And I don't think people should go round accusing feminists of hating men, that's just silly. But if someone does happen to hate men as an entire group... well I don't think that's okay Surely hating an entire gender is a bad thing.