Nice Tits!

What a cockferret, niño.

Whirlpool, have you read The Gift of Fear?

Oh, men's perpetual perceived entitlement to women's bodies pisses me right off.

I'm a big lass. I once went to the pub with some friends, who started chatting to these other folks. One bloke in particular didn't even bother talking to me all evening, but, when we were all leaving, came up from behind me, put his arms around me and dribbled 'shall we go back to mine, then?' in my ear like it was a done deal. I raised an eyebrow and showed him my engagement ring. He was so surprised he actually took a step back and stuttered 'well aren't...aren't you a lucky girl then?'.

So a) big lasses are so desperate for sex you don't even need to talk to them, b) being previously claimed by another man automatically trumps other men's right to 'hit that' and c) what an entitled dick (literally). I think he was actually trying to say 'he's a lucky man' but Freudian slipped his way into being a knob due to the pure shock of a fat chick already being 'claimed'. Oh how I laughed after several hours of fuming.

What a horrible experience for your friend and it's worse when it's blokes you know and like and are out with sometimes as you don't feel so able to tell them to fuck off and you don't understand why your "friends" are doing this.

And of course this stuff sticks with you and each time it happens, and especially from people you had not expected it from, it erodes your faith in the male sex just a little bit.

The people who suggest that women and girls should always give each and every man the benefit of the doubt in any and all situations, they should believe he is kind and gentle and nice right up until the point where he shows he is not - this is asking women and girls to ignore all their personal experiences and ignore all of their instincts about people they meet, for the benefit of any old random man. It's shit.

If I want to treat men who approach me unsolicited with suspicion then I will. If I want to be scared of some of them then I will. I don't have to talk to them, I don't have to be polite to them. I am going to teach my daughters this. It is important.

They were aggressive with her - just socially acceptably aggressive.

Completely agree.

A friend of mine was once out with a group of local lads, she was friends with all of them but not best friends iyswim. She was a bit tipsy and a bit flirty with them all, no harm in that of course. But then a couple of them thought that gave them permission to be funny and grope her a bit and pretend to bend her over the pool table etc. she was mortified and disgusted of course yet the bar staff and landlord who was watching just said it was a bit of fun and they didn't think there was any harm done.

They would have had a completely different response if they had started slapping her round the face or getting aggressive with her I'm sure!

"sexual assaults often aren't seen as assaults. "

Yy to this. Which the "women are as bad as men at DV" brigade usually ignore.

Sometimes they'll pull a "ooh, I'd love if a woman said nice arse to me."

They never make the true parallel of it being someone stronger and scarier than them who they had no attraction to, and that it wasn't one woman in a pub but month after month, year after year, in the street, at work, I front of our kids etc and sometimes with escalation into insults and threats if the call was ignored, or sometimes starting with insults (fat cow etc) if we are not fuckable enough.

So no, it's not a compliment, sonny jim.

I think reacting instinctively when someone assaults you is perfectly reasonable. This is the other thing - sexual assaults often aren't seen as assaults. If a man walks up and slaps you round the face everyone sees that as a violent assault and however you reacted eg hit him back, burst into tears, ran away, would be seen as fine. If a man walks up and slaps you on the arse you're supposed to put up with it or even simper at him. If you hit him or burst into tears or run away most people would say that is a gross over-reaction.

Sexual assault isn't seen as the same.

And being slapped hard / pinched hard on the bum really fucking hurts and leaves big bruises so it's not like it's because it doesn't hurt.

I don't know Whirlpool, I think a lot of it comes down to ignorance and pure lack of brain cells.

Are we back to basically lots of men don't like women very much. And quite a few actively hate them.

?

Whirlpool, that's exactly what it shows about dh friend. Completely changed my opinion of him, to be fair I always knew he was a bit thick but that just took the biscuit.
The bloody guy has a daughter too!!!

My mum once had a man openly grope her in a bar "ooo nice tits love". She's not a violent woman at all but it was a natural reflex to clip him round the face.

Why do so many men find it fun to demean, upset, scare and sexually threaten women?

No men who do this stuff think "oh yeah she's going to love this she'll definitely want to have sex with me" do they.

I suppose it's just basic bullying but when it's male on female there is this extra edge of sexual threat added that makes it more fun? Especially as females are told from very young that they are at high risk of rape and sexual assault and that if anything happens it will more than likely be their fault and they will have no recourse.

Ah, it was a hotel worker in New Zealand.

"England rugby manager Martin Johnson publicly admonished three players after they taunted and made lecherous remarks to a woman hotel worker.

Annabel Newton said she was left in tears after the trio stole her work walkie-talkie and took it to a room – then made crude sexual comments and videoed her when she was forced to retrieve it."

Lj attitudes like that are mind-boggling aren't they.

People say that us on this board are a bit nuts when we try to take this stuff and show what it means, but to me, that comment from your DH friend who is presumably a bog-standard normal bloke just beautifully shows that he regards women at least in part as nothing more than a selection of body parts to try and fuck unless they are already claimed by a male owner. But people don't like it when we say things like that but LOOK it's what he SAID!!!!

I'm not surprised you got the rage referring to you as "tits" all night is just incredibly rude and dehumanising.

Men don't, though.

IIRC, a IK rugby team got into trouble in Australia for keeping a female reporter from leaving their room briefly. I don't think they said anything horrible or touched her but shit! If my profession took me into a closed room with a lot of strong men who played an aggressive sport, damn straight i would be on my guard.

I used to get this alot (I have very large breasts) and it used to drive me mad!!

I had it the other night actually, I was out and this guy that I didn't know but we had mutual friends, insisted on calling me tits all night. I kept blanking him or giving him filthy looks, praying my husband wouldn't step in and cause a riot!

Eventually I snapped and had a huge go at him and he went bright red and apologised.

My husbands friend then said to me "how dare he say that to you when your out with your fella, you can only say that sort of thing to single girls"

He then got my rage!!! Including me giving him all the reasons why he was still single and likely to be single for life. My husband joined me in that rant!

Well this is it isn't it.

Men need to try and put themselves in the position of having a group of larger men shouting sexually threatening stuff at them when they're out by themselves. They wouldn't like it, of course they wouldn't.

And, to me, this stuff always felt sexually threatening. They are saying "I want to fuck you, we want to fuck you" and that is scary to have shouted at you.

Or if a gang of big and burly gay men shouted 'nice arse' at them when they were out alone.

I wonder how those knobs would have felt about someone shouting that to their mum

OP what a bunch of arseholes they were. I'm not surprised you're upset and angry and all the rest of it because, as you say, who the fuck do they think they are?

Hope sharing on here has made you feel a bit less pissed off

Glad your little girl didn't notice mine would be quite scared about people yelling stuff at their mum as well

I wonder if blokes who ogle and make stupid "tit" remarks felt they were breast deprived as babies. After all, it's so utterly childish.

In some countries breasts are not sexualised and "topless" women in e.g. rural parts of Africa are not unusual and don't seem to get these infantile responses from men. (Yes, I have worked in several African countries, and it was noticeable how unsexualised breasts are in the countries I was in).

But then I find porn seems to appeal especially to immature types of men.

Perhaps some research is needed…a survey to ask these daft blokes why they are so fixated on tits

Even thinking anything about penis size is as bad!

OP, what a bunch of dickbags.