Healthy living support thread for feminists

"please refer to my bitch face if you think I'm up for a conversation about the weather. "

SNORT!

Missed the early train today because I'm trying to have breakfast at home - for a long time i was grabbing something from Pret which just means expensive, unnecessary and not even that lovely calories on the run. Today I had two chunks of fresh bread and a Banana, sitting down - much more enjoyable!

Interesting Magick. I'm not sure if I've ever felt I didn't belong in the gym. My mother is an athlete, she coached men's university level basketball and is currently with Qatar's Olympic Commitee helping with their school activity programs. She doesn't look like a super model and she's never been what anyone would call skinny (she's half Native American and despite what Pocahontas would have you believe, they are not naturally slim people), and she's ALWAYS insisted that my brother and I be active, so I've never thought I didn't belong in a gym or exercise clothes. Also my attitude in the gym is I'm here to work out don't fucking talk to me, please refer to my bitch face if you think I'm up for a conversation about the weather.

My issues have always been food related, and I think the flipped switch for me is that I deserve to enjoy life and food and not starve myself or think that I don't deserve to enjoy a hamburger because I'm overweight. Not feeling guilty about everything I put in my mouth is a really hard thing.

feckity, I hope your friend's switch flips too. Hiss "join ussssss" at her, at intervals.

There has absolutely been a switch flipped in me in the last six months or so about whether I 'deserve' to be in the gym. I'm not sure it's just about the invisibility of middle age, more that I just don't care whether people notice me or not, or what they think if they do notice, which is an attitude that comes with age I think.

Though I have a friend who is a few years older than me who hasn't got it yet. We joined the gym at about the same time, over a year ago, and she has never been on to the gym floor. She's done a couple of classes and takes her children swimming but that's it. She feels like she doesn't belong in the gym and is very self-conscious. When I mentioned a particular class I had been to she said 'but isn't that for super-fit people?'. I think I must have frowned at her a bit in confusion, because she immediately said 'not that you aren't fit...' It wasn't that (I'm not super-fit!), it was just that her perception of who was allowed to do certain things didn't fit at all with all the people I saw using the gym, i.e. completely normal people like us.

I wish I could help her see that it just doesn't matter what people think, you do your thing and don't worry about anyone else, but it's definitely a realisation that has to come from within. But it's so incredibly freeing when it does happen.

Without wanting to derail the point of this excellent supportive thread, I had a thought I wanted to run by you all...

I'm 43 and a lot less embarrassed about a lot of things than I have ever been. One of them is exercise. Yes I'm chunky, no I will never look like a model, yes I still deserve to move my body and feel good about it.

I have a friend of a similar age to me whom I've known since we were 9 and this year is the slimmest I have seen her since she was 14. She has been walking miles, has given up booze, is incredibly fit and happy and having a great time.

I honestly think (though I'm guessing) that some switch has flipped in her brain that is allowing her to exercise that is something to do with... it being ok to be seen in exercise clothes because the invisibility of being in your 40s means you won't be publicly attacked for daring to move around without looking like Pamela Anderson.

Young people do seem to be a lot less embarrassed about being big (I think - I admit again I am guessing. That is not a dig by the way, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being big and good luck to anyone who is and wears tight clothes anyway) and I hope that means that anyone who wants to can enjoy exercise. It does seem a waste of my 20s and 30s that I spent the whole time dieting, smoking, drinking black coffee because I was too pathetically inhibited to go for a run.

Or maybe I'm projecting and that's just me! Anyone else have a view on this?

It has let me put in last night's swim though the challenge hasn't officially started so I am ahead of the game already

That looks good too, better to have a fixed time period really, more communal. Good luck with it, we'll be cheering you on :)

No, Spine injury! I don't think I will do it in the time but it will be fun to see how far I get and I can donate the money at the end anyway

Is it Heart Research one Yonic? Looks like a great challenge, I thought I might join you til I worked out you need to do an average of 118 lengths per week! Definitely doable if you're focusing on swimming, but I don't think I'd have time to do anything else so maybe I'll leave it til I'm bored of weights

Losing inches rather than pounds is definitely not cheating Sera, that's your body getting strong :) Frustrating not to have that objective measure though, I know what you mean.

You need to throw the scales away!!! Sera. I hate those bloody things. I'm the thinnest I've been (by clothes) in 7 years, but my scales say that I weight the same as I did when I was 9 months pregnant.

Do your scales do body fat %? You have almost certainly put on muscle which weighs more than fat per CC.

Well done on moving down a category. My arms definitely hurt today from swimming! I just signed up to an online swimming challenge thing to try and swim the length of the channel (over a few months!)

Have you tried measuring yourself instead of weighing sera? When I exercise a lot (especially weights) I usually lose inches not pounds. It is still frustrating not to see the numbers on the scale changing.

I've got a work from home day today which I know is going to be a big temptation to eat junk (or watch TV!). I think I might have to relocate to Costa.

Work went pretty well thanks purple - got properly caught up after my holiday.

32 lengths at swimming just now - I usually stop somewhere in the 20s but you lot spurred me on

That sounds really nice yonic. Butternut squash is a favourite of mine. I had some bargain Covent Garden Soupergrain soup for my tea after sausage and wholewheat pasta bake for lunch. I used half the amount of sausage I normally would and topped it up with mixed peppers. It was actually much nicer than usual. Hope your work went well.

My exercise of the day was attacking a large bush with garden shears. The garden looks miles better and it was definitely a good work out..

New lunch discovery - tinned butternut squash and sweet potato soup from M&S - really yummy!

PELVIC FLOOR!

DH's turn for the gym this morning so I'm trying to motivate myself to get up and do some work. Yawn!

Mide Absolutely agree about mis-information about women and weight training. I think the biggest lack, for men and women both though, is those who want to lift weights and get stronger, but don't necessarily want to get "competition ready." Since I've been pretty much going this alone, with no personal trainer and no one but a couple of guys who don't speak much English to help me occasionally correct my form, I've found it really difficult to find advice that suits me. I've battled anorexia and binge eating since I was 17, and I've tried calorie counting, but it just triggers anorexia for me. I get in a competition with myself to eat less and less, and exercise more and more. It's not healthy for me. So all this advice on body building sites is useless to me because its all about calorie counting. So I'm figuring it out on my own.

To be fair, despite what all the advice says, I'm seeing major changes to my body in terms of slimming down and building muscle, without making major diet changes. It's probably taking me longer, but it's happening. Especially in terms of strength. So I think, what works for some, may not work for all.

Playswell I'm afraid I have to ditto what others said. Diet and exercise information is so black and white, when the realm of nutrition for people is a much bigger spectrum. Yes, if you want to be a competition ready body builder, you need to eat XYZ and do XYZ. However, that's not what everyone wants. I certainly don't want it, and I'm probably one of the keenest weight lifters on this thread.

For everyone else. Daughters 2nd B-day party was this weekend, so I ate lots of pizza and cake. Love my two days off, but can't wait to get back to the gym today. Hope everyone else is well. :)

Taekwondo this morning was good, but a self-defence session so there wasn't much fitness. I'm glad though as I've spent the afternoon rewiring the kitchen lights which has given my shoulders a workout by itself - it's hard work spending an hour or so screwing in things above head height!

I'm not going to carry on with taekwondo. It's supposed to be a family session but there's only one other adult so it's not particularly challenging. DD loves it though, so she'll keep going. I might have stuck with it, but we're moving in a year and I didn't want to spend loads of money on the kit and grading etc. just to give it up then. Happy to let DD make a start with it though, and maybe she can find something similar when we've moved.

Maybe I'll try to fit in parkrun with all the other family activities on a Saturday morning.

Great job sera. I've even looking for one near me but the only one at a sensible time has huge hills that I'm not ready for yet. I'm aiming for a post Christmas go at it, hopefully without keeling over. I'm getting a gps watch for my birthday next week so I'm hoping that will help with pacing and motivation.

I decided to take my grump out on the body combat class this morning. There was a stand in female instructor who was just fantastic and although I'm tired now I'm really glad I went. After too many years of wanting to be thin I want to be strong and fit which is a much better goal to go for. Good news on the scales front yonic.

Re food diaries-I've found then really helpful in the past to work out where my danger points for mindlessly eating junk are (mid afternoon, after 10pm) so in theory I can make a plan to distract myself or eat something healthy.