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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Oh piss off!

34 replies

DirtyLittleSecrets · 10/08/2015 15:17

I've just had my lunch break ruined. Was walking back to work in a very happy mood, sun was shining and I just had one of those tampon ad moments where I felt happy at being alive (despite not wearing white jeans). I see this guy walking towards me and I thought how he looked like Father Christmas, sort of cuddly and kind looking. So I made the stupid, stupid mistake of smiling, and that was all the invitation he needed to say "Nice tits love" as he walked past. I was so shocked I just stood there an idiot and didn't say anything. It made my skin crawl, he was old enough to be my grandfather!

Where do men get off thinking that it's ok to say things like that? It's just repulsive and ruined my happy mood Angry.

OP posts:
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scallopsrgreat · 11/08/2015 19:30

Why is it a shame that we don't make eye contact with men. Or perhaps for whom is it a shame would be a better question?

I'm not surprised it knocked your day DirtyLittleSecrets. Its all a bit shit!

Kreeshsheesh · 11/08/2015 18:11

Better than your moobs

YonicScrewdriver · 11/08/2015 18:08

Hi partial

Have you seen the AIBU street harassment thread and the follow up thread in FWR?

partialderivative · 11/08/2015 17:33

I never let myself smile or even make eye contact with random men

What a shame, though completely understandable.

DirtyLittleSecrets · 11/08/2015 16:56

PinkSquash that really made me laugh - what does that even mean?!!

I've trained myself since the age of about 21 when I got sick of all the comments, to walk with my head held high and to always make sure I have my "bitch face" on. It tends to work and I've not had much in the way of this sort of thing in the last 10 years - could just be because I'm 35 now though and so less appealing.

This just reminded me though, why I never let myself smile or even make eye contact with random men Sad

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 11/08/2015 15:31

I think the answer to that one is "morbid curiosity", alsmutko.

alsmutko · 11/08/2015 11:49

See OP, what you did wrong was to smile at him. Merely looking at a man means you want to shag him.
Honestly, I actually had a man once ask me why did I look at him if I didn't want to be 'chatted up'.
Unfortunately the witty response only came to me hours later.

alsmutko · 11/08/2015 11:44

The good news is when you get to middle age (I'm now 58) you're invisible. I started noticing from about the age of 45 that I wasn't attracting attention from random men on the streets.
Until my DD got to around 13 I really thought men had grown up and stopped all that shit. But she (now 21) says no.

Amethyst24 · 10/08/2015 20:15

FFS. What's wrong with, "Lovely day, isn't it?"

achieve6 · 10/08/2015 19:56

Sorry OP
I know how fast a good mood vanishes when this happens.

iklboo · 10/08/2015 19:52

'Thanks, mate. They're nearly as big as yours'.

Turd. Why do men do this?

tribpot · 10/08/2015 19:50

PinkSquash I wonder if he had misunderstood Gwynnie's new fanjo steaming enterprise? You never know.

Sympathies, OP - I know what it's like, it's creepy and unpleasant and you know that these dicks have literally forgotten it with 30 seconds of it happening, whilst you're left with it all day.

PinkSquash · 10/08/2015 19:45

Bastard. Angry

I had some guy come up to me and say that he wanted to 'smoke my pussy'. WTAF?

UptoapointLordCopper · 10/08/2015 19:40

roughtyping Yes. Angry And if I continue my stony stare they will mutter under their breath about how I don't speak English (I'm not from round 'ere) or they'll attempt some cod-foreign-language.

CoolWheelsPan · 10/08/2015 19:31

Arse. He could and should have said nothing.

Or..pass the bromide. So every actress who plays opposite him is left wondering....

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 10/08/2015 19:19

Why would someone do that?! It's vile. Sorry it happened, I feel really Angry for you.

CoolWheelsPan · 10/08/2015 19:17

Am sorry this has happened to you. You at least have the knowledge of being capable of being in a 'good place' - this nasty little jerk will never have been.

Is it poss you could report it? IF it's a small town 'ish it may be possible to identify him. Long shot I know. He's def committing a public order offence.

Whiskwarrior · 10/08/2015 19:16

Apocalypse, sorry but having kids with you makes me no difference.

I've had this shit when I've had my kids with me. Lovely for kids to witness their mum being sexually harassed.

Whiskwarrior · 10/08/2015 19:15

Countdown until someone appears to say how they love being sexually harassed on the street and he was just paying you a compliment and you should just lighten up and are you just a frigid feminist who hates men, etc, etc.

Sorry you had to go through that OP. It's the shock at the time that they bank on, knowing you'll either be too shocked or scared to say anything back.

Complete wankers.

ApocalypseThen · 10/08/2015 19:14

I find the solution is bringing a baby with you. You meet no horrible men - you're invisible with the baba - but loads of lovely women.

Mide7 · 10/08/2015 19:10

What a nob.

Ruined Father Christmas as well as your mood

BleachEverything · 10/08/2015 19:10

Really?

HowDdo2You · 10/08/2015 19:09

I stopped smiling too. I want to smile at people again.

You could respond next time with, "none of your business"

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 10/08/2015 19:08

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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