Feminist Pub XX - may the summer rains wash the patriarchy down the plughole

*in proper etiquette terms.

Fingles

Hmm - I wonder if they address letters to baby boys to 'Master' or 'Mr' (though I know that technically they mean the exact same thing!). I remember feeling quite put out as a child when I realised that my DBs titles would change to acknowledge them as adults, whereas mine would only change on marriage.

This reminds me of the bonkers conversations I sometimes have with old-fashioned members of my family about how "Mrs Hovis Maiden-name" doesn't exist, because it 'proper etiquette' terms I can only be referred to as "Mrs DH First Name Last Name".

I do get to be cross at the bank after all! Went in a few months ago and asked them to change the title on DD's account, what with the marital status of a two year old not being relevant. They looked at me like I'd grown another head, but said they'd do it. Just had a letter from them addressed to the parent or guardian of Miss DD. Bet I don't get fifty quid for complaining though.

NeverEver

Hmm... I enjoyed the books more than the show, to be honest. There's a lot of violence in both, but on the show (without 'hearing' characters thoughts etc) it seems a lot more gratuitous at times. The TV show has also made some decisions that make it much more problematic in terms of treatment of women than the books which, given that the books present a pretty brutally patriarchal medieval-style world, is saying something.

So, back in the nineties, when banks handed out shares like smarties, they could only give shares to individuals, not couples. Legally, each share could be owned by one person. so - did they give 50% to men, and 50% to women? Did they ask the owners of joint accounts if they preferred one person to have the shares? OR - did they give the shares to the FIRST named person on a joint account who was, ta da, the penis wearing person?

Luckily, I have a DH who sees all possessions as joint possessions, and I knew about the shares, but imagine in a household where the man sees all money as his, and keeps finances hidden.

I wish I knew how to challenge things like that legally, because it was national banks handing out those shares, and therefore giving men money that women didn't get.

Fingles - you know what would happen - you add this person, the bank decides you are not important any more, you go and be cross at the bank, the bank says "na na na na na take your money somewhere else then", and you are cross and not any richer and have more forms to fill in.

Sorry. In a pessimistic mood. Too many things to do. And I WANT A HOLIDAY.

Thought it had just gone quiet, but the Pub had dropped off threads I'm on. Whoops.

Kind of wishing I had someone to add to my bank account just so I can go and be cross at the bank and be placated with free money.

Haven't read or watched any GoT stuff. Should I?

Brian Cox makes me switch off the telly.

Chunky

Interesting point! I guess it was just that in the book I was especially struck by a line where Cersei hears a boy saying "she looks just like my Mum", referring specifically to her stretchmarks from having had 3 children, and I think part of the humiliation for her as described in the book was the image of the ever-youthful queen replaced with the reality of her 'flawed' body (which I think was a quite interesting commentary on the pressures of having to 'appear' a certain way, which is a relevant theme to women IRL). To me it would have been a step in the right direction for television to visually acknowledge that women's bodies do change throughout life etc. But such a conscious step may be too much to expect from Game of Thrones, which as you say has a host of other problems...

You may be right, just he only did it to a woman in the first episode IIRC will watch again.

tbf, Yonic, Brian Cox may well speak over anyone, not just women, as he kind of loves the sound of his own voice.

I haven't seen any panel shows for a while. They are mostly middle-aged middle-class men sitting around going haw-haw-haw-aren't-we-clever, aren't they?

although brian cox did talk over the female physicist giving a perfectly good explanation of non Newtonian fluids...

can i say a cautious 'woo' to six degrees of separation for having one female, one male scientist per team? male host and male comedic captains. natch, but we can't let feminism Go Too Far...

Well, and I hesitate to say this, but I noticed that her boobs were different sizes, and actually liked that they didn't go for someone with an absolutely perfect body because of that - but you're right, they could have gone with a more appropriate body double.

I thought they lingered a lot too (a long scene really - with no reason other than to look at her), and some of the things said were horrible, and just for shock value - but then, this is why I'm probably not going to bother watching it any more - it's just all got too much.

Banks-wise - we expect so much more security around cheques than there is - I lived in Canada for a bit, and they weren't crossed as standard (I was looked at like I was mad for asking about it) - and you just went to some random place to get them printed - you didn't get them issued by the bank (well, I did, but I had to ask and they printed some for me as a favour!)

Was very, very weird.. I suppose much closer to their original promisary (sp?) notes than the formal things they are in Europe.

INicked

I didn't know that about tanks. That's kind of a cool fact to know. I always find the gendering of objects (especially in a military context) a bit of a mind-bender. The 'she' of a ship or boat...

Can I ask the Pub's opinion on something? I've not been watching Game of Thrones for ages but was interested in how they adapted Cersei's "walk of shame" so googled it. I'm a bit at the fact that they used a 27-year old body double. A body double at all, fair enough, but a 27-year old to represent the naked body of a woman who is in her late 30s or early 40s, after multiple children? Would it have killed them to have a naked body of a woman that wasn't 100% youthful, flat, and perfect?

Thank you for the vid neverever. Dd loved it too. I remember by brother and I squeezing into those little tykes car things once and racing each other up the street, pretending to chuck red shells and stuff. My brother is quite large and got stuck in the car, my Mam had to cut him out, while muttering "grow the fuck up, the pair of you"

Welcome Omnishambles. I'd be pissed off with the bank too.

Dds teacher asked me for a word this afternoon. As part of her homework dd had to research the decade 1915-1925 and she chose to write about the Suffragettes and women getting the vote, I didn't prompt her, she knew women got the vote after ww1 and that it was during that time period. She's been really praised for it as it everyone else used info from the first google search result, her teacher said it's clear it's something she's passionate about and her she conveyed her disappointment to how women were viewed back then in a very adult way. :)

Dd just told me that tanks in ww1 were gendered, with the males having canons and females having guns. I didn't know that.

Thank you for the welcome, I am pleased I've finally taken the plunge and joined in

Hovis and chunkypickle I'm shocked on your behalf too - how bloody often does this sort of shit happen?!

The helpdesk person initially said to me that it was fine to go ahead and use the chequebook despite it not having my name on it in any form. I replied that I was amazed that she was suggesting that I committed fraud and she went very quiet then put me on hold to go and ask for advice.

I'm still SO cross!

My bank fixed it and gave me 50 quid for annoying me - and that was just that they started sending bank statements/other communications only to DP, and demoted me to second place when I added him to my account.. (not an alphabetical thing)..

Try and at least get something out of them for the hassle of it all.

I would definitely change banks if they don't agree to fix it. Keep us posted on what happens.

And welcome!

Welcome, OmniShambles (it sounds like your bank are currently vying for your name!)

When DH and I married I added him to the account I have had quite literally since I was born. They then stopped sending me bank statements and started sending them to him (addressed only to him) instead. When I complained they started sending out two statements a month - one just to him, and one addressed to both of us.

Welcome!

thank you!

I am trying to decide if it's bad enough that I want to change banks over it...it would be a complete ballache to do, but I do feel very strongly about it. The bloody NERVE of it!!