Feminist Pub XX - may the summer rains wash the patriarchy down the plughole

I caught This Morning on Friday too. (Wasn't accident though :) )

The bit where they had a chat before the phone in, some study shows men prefer women who a less intelligent than themselves, Ruth was saying something like, maybe these smart women don't want a man, they are happy as they are etc, and the other woman guest said, if a load of men are single it's assumed it's because they like it that way, but when we talk about about single women there must be doing something wrong. They were both quite passionate about it, then the male guest complaining feminism has gone to far, education is too feminised, omg males have to take compulsory rape classes, wah wah, boo fucking hoo for him, then Aeomon ( so) said the women are " sensitive" to which Ruth said "whenever a woman has an opinion she's called sensitive or argumentive" I may have shouted fuck off at the TV a lot.

The phone in was just as bad. One man saying he'd choose a not very bright Cheryl Cole over an intelligent hunchback, depressing stuff on the comments too.

I actually thought, these men complaining about intelligent women sound like they don't like it because women are cottoning on to their attitudes and are choosing not to have relationships/sex with men like that and that's very bad, so women better stop being all clever and independant and making their own choices or all the human race will end! Something like that.

Glad to hear you had mostly good news Inicked. Take this time to heal and gather your thoughts. And never think that a bad experience with a doctor is something to gloss over. I think your lovely doctor is right. But it's understandable that you may not want to take it further. It's so lovely to have validation though.

Just going to leave this here, The defence QC in the case made some horrendous comments about the victims. For once though, read BTL.... the legal profession needs sorting really.

Metro article

I know more than one woman who has been told not to go for postgraduate qualification in case she can't find a husband.

Lewis's Law.

INicked Glad it's not that doctor again this time. Fingers crossed for you.

Thank you for the messages.

It was the lovely doctor and I mentioned about last week, she apologised on his behalf, said she would speak to him personally and gave me info on how to make a formal complaint. I dont think I'll go down that route as it's another thing to worry about, but lovely doctor said to think on it. Part of me keeps making excuses for him, they were running massively behind, he may have rushed, my breast looked fully healed so maybe he thought it was fine and I'd feel bad getting someone in trouble who was just having a bad day. I'm a wimp I know.

Results. Of the three lumps they removed, two were nothing to worry about, the third is lobular carcanome (sp), she explained that it was found totally by chanceas they were removing the lump I'd reported, this third one didn't show on the mammogram, that it doesn't mean I have cancer but is an indicator that I'm more likely to develop, or makes me higher risk so they want me to go for an MRI scan to see if there's anything else to worry about, and then will take things from there. I cannt have the MRI until my breast settle down from the surgery and won't get results until December. Seems forever away.

Oh, INicked, I'm so sorry to hear that.

I would imagine that any surgeon worth their salt would be happy for you to have your SiL there with you. The male doctor sounds like an arse, to be honest, and, if your breast is still tender when you go back, I would ask the doctor (hopefully the nice one) to have a proper look at things, just to make sure everything's healing as it should.

Hope you get the results back very soon

Oh INicked, that's horrible. Do you feel up to giving them feedback? They need to know how it feels, anyway. I hope tomorrow goes far better.

INicked Very sorry to hear that you are in pain. I think you should have a word with the nurse too. And get SIL to sit with you too.

Good luck.

It would not be unreasonable for you to ask for SIL to go in with you. You might want to have a word with the nurse beforehand about the tenderness and that, if possible, an extremely gentle approach be made.

Good luck x

Hello:)

I hope everyone is well. I've got a lot if catching up to do, I've not been on MN as much as my concentration is poor, Twitter is the best I can manage..

I still don't have the results from my breast surgery, until they tell me it's certainly cysts it's looming at the back of my mind. I had an app last week and it was a different doctor, until then I'd been healing well, pain was bearable and the breast itself looked back to normal, the new doctor came out and ran through the various stuff I've had and to be honest stemmed pissed off, said I'd need to come back next week and just seemed like he had better things to do, they were running almost two hours behind but still, that wasn't my fault... Anyway when he examined my breast he really hurt me, to the point I almost shot off the bed, he rolled his eyes and left, to which the nurse asked me if I was ok and seemed angry at him, I was half naked and just wanted to get dressed and out of there, so said I'm fine, if I didn't have SIL waiting outside I'd have gone into the toilets to cry.
My boob has been in agony since, it hurts more now than it did after the OP and has gone hard. Im Just really fed up of being in pain. I'm back tomorrow and if it's him again I don't think I can let him examine me again, the slightest touch has me wincing so if he grabs like he did last time I think I'll pass out. I really hope it's my usual consultant, she was lovely and I'll be mentioning last week to her. Would I be unreasonable that if it's him, to ask for SIL to come in?

@manwhohasitall is great

Hello, as an occasional lurker in the pub can I share something that has been amusing me this Friday evening? @manwhohasitall on Twitter

TODAY’S QUESTION: Can curvy dads ever be TRULY happy?

To all men with an opinion. Don’t be AFRAID to speak up! It’s OKAY to be a man and have an opinion. Some women actually find it attractive

ALL MEN! Know your face shape to radiate confidence in the colours & styles that suit YOU as an individual. Feel amazing

TODAY’S QUESTION: How do you handle a gentleman boss?

Looking for a job? Don’t forget that many of the skills you learn as a dad are useful in a career setting.

ALL MEN! 7 ways you have been eating avocados all wrong & 6 ways you have been washing your penis wrong.

Thanks everyone - yes Buffy I think I have got used to rational debate here, and forgot how hard of thinking lots of people can be. I actually think I became more RadFem as a result of the debate . Gratifyingly I logged in again today and several women posters are challenging the mansplainers and those unconscious of their privilege. The flowers (and whisky) are much appreciated.

Hang on, he thought VAWG was a reasonable price to pay, did he? Who's paying the price? Not him? I thought not. Sadly this is quite common. In big and small ways. Like, let's not add too much workload on us (men) to make sure that the work environment is fair to women. That kind of thing. These days I'm surprised when I don't see it... >

one poster said he thought VAWG was a reasonable price to pay for not impeding the rights of trans people to access female spaces

Sheesh.

[quadruple whisky]

Haven't been in the pub for a while, but feeling the need for strong liquor after taking an entirely unexpected pasting on another forum about rad fems and trans issues. Someone asked for an explanation of the issues/arguments, I gave an outline as I understand it, and then got called nasty, Tory , prejudiced, hateful, an arsehole, a dick, and not a feminist. It was utterly uncalled for, I was being informative, unemotive and as reasonable as a veritable Buffy. I'm a bit shaken by it tbh - one poster said he thought VAWG was a reasonable price to pay for not impeding the rights of trans people to access female spaces. Double whisky please, and then pass the cannon.

I don't know The Life Scientific. What is it?
R4 9am Tuesdays. New series started this week. Half an hour of Jim Al-Khalili talking to a scientist about their life in science - how they got interested in science, how they progressed through their careers.

I think, like IoT, they're all available as podcasts forever more.