Feminist Pub XX - may the summer rains wash the patriarchy down the plughole

That's maddening and quite horribly offensive, Jessicas, I can see why you're cross. Grrr. And in answer to "when do we stop getting judged on age and childed/non-childed status", sadly the answer from my experience is just about never.

You could equally argue it the other way - because you don't have children, then you're much more open to the huge amount of variety in children's behaviour, aptitudes etc, and how you can teach them as individuals because you don't have a dog in the fight, and you're not starting from a position of "this child is the same as/different to my child". Or you could just tell them to get stuffed

What does this person think of childless male teachers? Or even male teachers who have children but are not the primary carer?
Those would be crappy teachers according to that person's line of reasoning, right?

(Except men do everything better and know everything about children without even having seen one.)

Jessica Women are just no good at anything apart from making the tea and sandwiches. Even then it depends on how available you are.

Arg! Need to rant! Trying to avoid derailing a thread by arguing with someone who thinks that young, childless women make worse teachers that older ones who are parents. Seriously, at what point do women get to be judged on their individual skills rather than their age and inclination (or ability) to have kids?

Maybe I should have married the fuckwit and had children - at least then my teaching would be judged on my skills. Though, I guess then I'd be judged for working while being a mum.

DS2 nearly out of primary school now. We didn't get as many as 20 parties a year!

I think I might have actual wine tonight. DS was 1 of about 4 boys not dressed as a pirate so not too bad. It was going OK until he tripped over someone's foot and now he's got a massive lump on his head.

He's not even in school yet, I really won't cope with doing this 20 times a year. Dh is in work, lucky sod.

DS1 doesn't do dressing up - every nursery play, there he is in his uniform jumper among a sea of obedient costumed toddlers.

Then, all of a sudden he got a token for the disney store and bought the silver stormtrooper suit (Captain Phasma - a female character - he bought it because it was the shiniest), and has insisted on wearing it to every party since. None of which have been fancy dress.

Children. What are you going to do with them.

Bah to dress up!

My kids never dressed up for any party ... They don't like dressing up...

Unsurprisingly I do not have gold paper

I was going to get him a han solo outfit as he's like a pirate but in the end I couldn't be bothered.

Here's your wine

Make a paper crown for DS if you have gold paper.

(Or do nothing and say he's a modern pirate, and they look just like everyone else.)

Wine please for someone who's failing at wifework. I'm going to a birthday party tomorrow for siblings, a boy and a girl. It's a pirates and princesses theme (which I thoroughly disapprove of) but I haven't bought a costume for DS. I've just gone to wrap the presents and realised I only have Christmas wrapping paper. Going through the options based on what I have in the house I've put both gifts unwrapped in a black gift bag that I received for my birthday last week. I'm just going to have to ignore the pitiful looks from mothers who give a shit are organised!

I was just watching Cuffs on BBC1, and I realised that there's a thing which really shows how little we're actually expected to cause hassle.

A girl was scanned with a handheld metal detector, and when it beeped around her chest, the policewoman confirmed that it was her underwired bra.

I've had the similar happen to me at airports.

Isn't that an enormous security hole? That any beeping on a woman around the chest is assumed to be an underwire? I'm not saying that there's a good option (although also at airports I've had some fairly thorough pat downs) since most of us wear underwired bras and looking/touching might be a step too far in some circumstances.

The gate-type detectors are generally fine, but the hand held ones, always waver over the bra.

Hah! We'll see what happens to "social stability" if everyone did what one of the women did - get married, have baby, get divorced, get remarried, have another baby, get divorced ...

Lots of paperwork, I guess. Is the economy or something measured by the amount of paper work generated?

Apparently "Allowing different surnames risks destroying social stability, the maintenance of public order and the basis for social welfare". Well I suppose it might, if your social stability depends on treating half your population as not-quite-fully-human

So what would the problem be with the husband taking the wife's surname?

I just finished reading Philippa Ballantine's "Books of the Order" series, and there is a couple where the man takes the woman's surname. Out of practical reasons, granted, but it is so rare a thing that I don't mind the reasons.

Thanks for the link to the Irish article, PlaysWell. Nice to see some photos of real people, not just the "Generic Victim Photo" - you know the one - backlit by a window, head bowed in arms, face obscured by arms and hair. Like the one to the right of the MN threads today under "Blog of the Day", in fact.

Happened to me, I complained and got 50 quid (and the names changed order/me back on the statement envelope!).

Also wasn't alphabetical or time based, or even based on the form (I added DP to my ancient Uni current account). It could be random, the order they're pulled out of the database, but my suspicion is that somewhere there is a little bit of formatting code that defaults to man first. I want that bit of default code gone.

I thought of this recent conversation here when I read this article this morning - I didn't know that in Japan you CAN'T keep your maiden name on marriage. Grrrrrr!

Apparently "Allowing different surnames risks destroying social stability, the maintenance of public order and the basis for social welfare". Well I suppose it might, if your social stability depends on treating half your population as not-quite-fully-human

I'm another one who gets routinely shunted to the back of joint applications and bank accounts, and it makes me feel very much like committing some offences against public order.

Oubliette... it's good to hear you're first... I think that's what's even more annoying in my case as it's Dr and Mr... My Surname is 'P' and his is 'S'....

My Surname is first in the alphabet... My title is first in the alphabet...

I'll tell him he needs to get a PhD and then the system won't know who to put first

However as I don't have a penis, I'm relegated!

I'd be hacked off with your parents!!!!! I wouldn't know how to broach that without sounding petty and I guess that's half the challenge.. as so many people say stuff like 'Urgh, first world problem'

My name is usually first on any joint 'official' mail (we both have a PhD, so titles are Dr and Dr and my surname comes first alphabetically).

However, I've noticed that his name is invariably first on this year's Christmas cards. Even when they are from my friends. In fact even on the one from my parents

Sadly there are none that cover our area ... However it's an awesome idea!

Vestal.. No I hadn't but I'm totally going to do that right now! That's AWESOME and I'm completely up for that, I just find the 'pink' bit of the Website name a bit cringey.... but hey, I'm definitely happy to employ women so thank you

Another 'update' RE: house... I got another reply from our solicitor today... It was forwarding on information from the other solicitor.. Oh, guess what? Apparently it's only my partner buying the house... That's right, only one buyer listed... My partner, after all, he's the man and I'm only the little woman .

I replied stating that the sellers solicitors must obviously be woman-haters or have eyesight issues considering they keep missing my name off of things and if they don't seem to think it's necessary to add me, then they won't need me to sign anything, will they? UTTER TOSSERS...

Going to website now and looking to see if there are any plumbers in Hampshire!