Ms, Mrs,Miss

I think that rather than quibble about the title we should question why we need them -and get rid of the ones we don't want.
Addressing children comes from the class system. Lower class children never got letters and were never called a title as children. They would have to address upper class children as Miss Lucy, Master Harry etc.
Why are we still doing it?

My bank didn't. My DSs got first name surname not the outdated Master.
Why not Lucy Jones if a child? Surely the correspondence comes to the parent anyway if under 16 yrs?
Do you seriously put Miss L Jones on a 2 yr olds birthday card? I put Lucy Jones.

Little girls are Miss, if you need a title, and banks etc would certainly use Miss in correspondence about an account belonging to an under 18 year old girl.

You are a bit stuck if someone signs Alex Smith!

Why is Miss a little girl? Who on earth would put Miss for a child? I put their name.
Ms is the sensible option if you don't know. I would use it. If not corrected I would assume it was preferred. If they want different they would say so.

I say Mzz too - Mizz sounds either American South, or that I'm embarrassed to be Ms and want it to sound like Miss.

This title thing gets very weird - I'm pretty sure I've seen threads where someone's got their Phd and there is generally a mix of people saying 'well done, you earned it, use it' and other people saying that they wouldn't update their bank/childs school etc. because it's too try-hard.

And because women change titles way more than men, we get more angst about it..

The solution really is for us to all get Doctorates though isn't it. (and with my name, it would be awesome - I'd sound like someone dead but famous)

But if you're called 'Ms' on an envelope, there's nothing to correct, assuming you are a woman. They have paid you the respect of not presuming to guess your marital status, just as they wouldn't for a man, and they have used a title which correctly designates you as an adult woman. You can tell everyone you're married, including WHSmith, if you feel the need. But being referred to as Mrs when you are not, or Miss when you are not a little girl, is incorrect, and so some vehemence is understandable.

I know that anybody who has rung me up is a dick with nothing to say that I want to hear if they address me as Mrs Dp'ssurname. It's quite an efficient time saver!

Those people should still correct her politely! If she didn't know she had to write something.

Well, after this thread, she knows that some people feel strongly about it!

I think the boggling was not at the correction but the vehemence of the correction, Mehitabel.

I say it Mzzz, achieve.

Ms Ownsurname for me, both before and after marriage. I do a little inward cheer every time someone adresses me as Ms by default, that is without me having put it on a form first.

I expect that you went to school in a big city, achieve6.

I don't know why you mind should boggle TooOldForGlitter,if I was going to get more than the odd letter from someone I would contact them to get my correct preference.

Regarding the usage of mrs proudly as a badge of honour to display your marital status: i am proud to be a succesful professional an astronaut. But unless i am applying for a position at the international space station i dont go around introducing myself as "jane smith, astronaut". In most situations it is irrelevant, and i am pretty sure it could be seen as if i am declaring myself to be superior to the non-astronaut community even if i am just stating a matter of fact. So i introduce myself as plain jane smith.
Same thing as introducing oneself as "jane smith, married".

This thread is still making my mind boggle
Most of my teachers were Ms 25 years ago! I'll grant you I don't remember any at primary though.

I'm afraid I do say Ms without the vowel. So do my friends. Does no one on this thread say like that?

Ms for me. Since I was old enough to have a title. No one needs to know my marital status.

I'm divorced, in my 40s, and reverted to my maiden name including the Miss.

Ms sounds like it's making an issue of it to me, so I don't use it, have never used it and don't identify with it.

If someone judges me for being 40s with kids and being Miss, that's their problem! Miss Pretend is my name and that's how I like it

I'm divorced, in my 40s, and reverted to my maiden name including the Miss.

Ms sounds like it's making an issue of it to me, so I don't use it, have never used it and don't identify with it.

If someone judges me for being 40s with kids and being Miss, that's their problem! Miss Pretend is my name and that's how I like it

There is always an element of smuggery on these threads. I do imagine it's women who slave away putting a hearty meal on the table for their sweaty useless lazy lump of a man who feel as though being able to say Mrs is a badge of honour.

Dr

*of not old..

A big part old my job is sending out our standard forms to new clients. I usually get an email with, Sue Smith, phone number blah blah on. When I first started I addressed every letter to women with Ms. I got bollocked. Lots of women rang up complaining that they were Mrs Jones and not Ms Smith. My mind still boggles at this.

I'm divorced and I reverted back to my family surname after divorce so my daughter and I have different surnames. People assume I just wasn't married to her dad and gave her his name. I was but...meh. I'm MS though. Always have been. Its not asda or nexts business if I'm married or not. The very idea that men can just be....but women must identify as Miss (still owned by father) or Mrs (now owned by husband) is vomit inducing!

I don't think being proud/happy/validated to have found a person you want to commit to is a bad thing. I do think it's a bad thing that women alter their identity to reflect that and men don't.

I am always Ms.

I am in an ongoing, committed, monogamous relationship that has been absolutely solid since 1976.

No I'm not proud of that. There are things I'm proud of. Being lucky enough to find someone I want to spend my life with isn't one of them!