Ms, Mrs,Miss

Charis1 why?

Ok Charis what's your unisex title of choice? Feel free to make one up!

I would never in a million years agree to being referred to as Ms

Can I suggest "Of[father's name] for all single women of any age and "Of[dh's name] on marriage? This would suit those who are proud to define themselves by their relationships with men.....

No. I'd be surrounded by Ofjohns (my unmarried contemporaries) and the married ones would all be Ofdave, Ofpaul, Ofpete or Ofandy. And hardly any other names.

Yrs, Czn Bearhug.

The Hon Alex Tigers.

Yes, Yonic, it has a certain ring to it!

Can I suggest "Of[father's name] for all single women of any age and "Of[dh's name] on marriage? This would suit those who are proud to define themselves by their relationships with men.....

I like Citizen

Or The Honourable.

I read a science fiction novel some years ago (can't remember the title now, but I do like Ursula LeGuin, so it might have been her), in which everyone used the title Res.

Res Smith, Res Jones, whatever. As the book went on, you discovered that it stood for Respected Citizen, and it was the same for everyone, women and men alike. I rather liked the idea of having one title for everyone, that denotes nothing about social or marital status.

How about Comrade?

I would like the same for everyone to be something new and not anything short for mistress.

"after that perhaps we could all have the same. ( if we could agree on which one) "

Yes! This would be great!

The case for the one title being Ms:

Does not have long standing meaning with respect to marital status
Same number of letters as Mr

Who wants to make the case for the other two?

I can't see a need for any title before 16 yrs and after that perhaps we could all have the same. ( if we could agree on which one) .

True. The problem to agree on one is the bagage that come with each one. If there were no assumptions with using one or another it would be easier but someone already mentioned upthread that they switched from ms to mrs because of the negative connotations of being a ms with children. I think that feeling disrespected because someone calls you miss, ms or mrs just perpetuates the problem, it implies that any other choice is a lack of respect.

I just mentioned London because it was far more likely to use Ms for teachers. In places such as Liskeard, Midhurst, Cockermouth, Tewkesbury, Harrogate etc etc etc you would be lucky to find a teacher using Ms. And even less likely if you get into villages.

I can't see a need for any title before 16 yrs and after that perhaps we could all have the same. ( if we could agree on which one) .

Thanks, Yonic

Stupor, I told DH that if I ever committed a major fraud or something in my name, I would take his name then to escape being googled

Seneca - like bzzzzz with fewer zzz - a short "u" sound as others have said.

Sorry about your mum

I remember a few years back on MN during a discussion similar to this one, a poster saying something along the lines of being glad that she had her husband's name because they were expecting him to be knighted. This isn't really an issue for Americans, but if it were, I wouldn't choose to be called Lady Hisname anymore than I would choose to be called Mrs. Hisname.

On second thought, I suppose it might be an issue for some Americans if they married a Lord. Jamie Lee Curtis is technically a Lady because of that, but I don't think she uses the title.

As i said Beaufort, we know why the inequality and inequality in reverse persists. I wouldn't personally use the title Lady because I had done nothing to earn it and I'd get no satisfaction in basking in reflected glory.

DH wouldn't be a Sir because, as Buffy said, the idea that women are real people who have achieved something on their own merit never occurred to men when they instituted the system of marriage so they never had to allow for a man to bask in reflected glory. Man is the default innit?

My mother died three weeks ago at the age of 93 and I have just begun to go through her things. Last night I came across her file of papers related to her work. There were several documents, including newsletters, in which she and other women were identified as Ms. These dated as far back as 1978 and she was a civilian employee of the US military. I just thought that was pretty impressive and forward thinking for 1978 in a fairly traditional and conservative sector.

Mehitabel, yes, I went to school in a rough part of London. Interesting that you said that. I nearly left London with an ex, and my most staunch feminist friend told me that anywhere I went wouldn't be as forward thinking in feminist terms. I thought she was just being a bit of little Londoner, IYSWIM.

I think it would be nice if we had one title for under 16s and one for over 16s. Just one - so nothing to indicate gender.

There's never a reason that gender needs to be included either.

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread but I feel so passionate about this.

When I was getting married so many people asked me 'Are you going to change your name?'.

My response was either 'No, I'm not on the run so why would I give myself a new name?'

Or 'No and DP isn't changing his either' which my mum was always very put out by

It just used to fuck me off so much that people would assume that I'd give myself a massive upheaval in my identity and cause myself loads of administrative work but no-one would ever even contemplate DH doing it. Tradition innit.

Went in to HSBC once.

Hi, I've had this account since I was 12 and it says 'Miss' as my title. Can you upgrade it to Ms or Dr so it matches my other accounts?*

You'll have to bring in your certificates if you want to be a Dr.

OK - I don't really care, just put Ms.

I can't do that. Ms is for divorced women [anger]

Also, I'm actually married, so Miss is a bit misleading.

Mzz. If you want a vowel it's a very quick 'u' but definitely not 'Muzz' - purposely try to not say a vowel and you have the sound.

My standard line is: "It's Mzz, M S" (and state the 2 letter names)

The UK button here is closest I've found.

Really, I pronounce it like it has 'half a u' between M and z. THere's no buzzing - it's a short z. I don't have a regional accent.