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Original poster

Demanding job

235 replies

FayKorgasm · 30/07/2015 09:22

Not a TAAT but inspired by years of threads. Frequently I read threads on here by women posters who have husbands or partners who do the very bare minimum of child rearing. One of the reasons given is the all inclusive Demanding Job. Extra points for Long Hours in aforementioned Demanding Job.
It really gives me the rage. Lots of women work in Demanding Jobs and yet come home and just bloody get on with it but men are excused the daily drudge because of it.

OP posts:
ChunkyPickle · 30/07/2015 10:49

Not doing it doesn't work - for a start, they're out all day at their 'demanding job' not seeing it while the kids and partner get to stay home in the filth..

AskBasil · 30/07/2015 10:38

"But the only way we can stop it is by not doing it! "

No, the only way we can stop it is by refusing to live with men. Let them live with each other or alone in their own festering shit, if they can't learn how to keep their homes in a decent state. Don't expect to live with normal people, if you can't keep a normal level of hygiene and order in your own home.

Women are often advised to "go on strike" and leave the place in a tip the way their husbands do, in order to guilt/ shame/ wear them down into getting their arse in gear. But why on earth should anyone want to do that? Why should you invite mice, rats, cockroaches etc., into your home, by keeping it like a pig-sty? Why should you lose things, spend hours of your life searching for stuff which isn't where it belongs, just in order to try and make a grown-ass adult do their own fair share of ordinary tidying up?

Far easier to just refuse to share your personal space with someone so utterly inadequate in the first place.

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 30/07/2015 10:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shrimpyturn · 30/07/2015 10:11

My DH has 'his jobs' around the house. He gets so proud for doing them like taking out the bin and mowing the lawn. It's ridiculous that 99% of the work is left to me just because he has a demanding job. We've spoken about it and we're working on it, he's admitted that he can just be lazy once he's home which I guess is the first step to change!

InnocentWhenYouDream · 30/07/2015 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
FayKorgasm · 30/07/2015 09:53

Chunky DFather does the big job woohoo look at me craic and never sees the little crappy stuff that keeps the household ticking over.

As long as women and men keep being fed a stream of housework = wifework nothing is ever going to change. I would love some downtime after work,as would dh but unfortunately stuff needs to be done before we can do that.

OP posts:
itsbetterthanabox · 30/07/2015 09:43

Yeah I completely agree. But the only way we can stop it is by not doing it!
If you work a full time job simply do not do more than 50% of the housework and childcare. Be selfish. Go out.
It will take a while but it's the only way to change things. The problem is women feel obliged and guilted into doing these things so never take a real stand.

ChunkyPickle · 30/07/2015 09:41

I understand the need to decompress at the end of a day - I work too - BUT - if I've spent all day with the kids, then I also desperately need a break (from them) - and I don't think it's reasonable that one person gets to sit and do nothing while the other runs around making dinner/tidying up/doing bed time - at least not every day - some days will have been particularly hard for one or other partner, and a good partner will recognise that and give them a break.

So much of it I think is that the buck for domestic stuff always seems to stop with the woman.

I just had a chat with DP this morning about how whilst he'd taken the bin to the road, he hadn't brought the nappies down from the bathroom bin, or let the bathwater out, or shut the wipes, or wiped down the side (after he had done the dishwasher), or thrown away any of the post around the desk, or put away his shoes. That as the other responsible adult in the house, he didn't get to just do one big job, or just take his cup to the kitchen, he had to share in doing all the little bits around the house - all the small stuff that otherwise I seem to find myself doing as I pass from room to room.

AnyFucker · 30/07/2015 09:38

yep

motherinferior · 30/07/2015 09:35

Couldn't agree more.