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Hair length

80 replies

Moobaloo · 20/07/2015 19:44

Hello

Long time lurker on this board. I have something niggling in my brain at the moment.

I have a toddler DS. He has chin length hair. It's very cute. It gets in his eyes so I tie the top part into a topknot thing.

Naturally he gets called a girl a lot. This happens even when he's in blue/a top with a truck on but I mostly dress him in gender neutral bright colours. I have no problem with people mistaking him for a girl, it's not their fault! I just say "he's ..." Whatever they've asked.

However what has been bothering me is the constant "why haven't you cut his hair yet" "you've got to do it sometime!" "He looks like a girl!"

Pretty much all with a negative tone.

Two things: 1. What's wrong with looking like a girl? Is this some implication that being a girl is 'bad' or a negative thing? What's wrong with girls? I feel that this could promote bad stuff if slightly older boys hear this "looking like/being a girl is bad" all the time.

And the one that's really stuck in my head: since when can boys not have long hair? There are loads of men with long hair! And the biggie - I am a twenty something woman. With short hair. I have a pixie crop. I like it, it suits me. NO ONE has ever told me to grow my hair because I look like a bloke!

Anyway. I don't really know where I'm going with this.

Suggestions of answers for the people who tell me to cut his hair?!

Thanks for the rant space x

OP posts:
LassUnparalleled · 20/07/2015 22:25

I really like long hair on men (well to be honest good long hair on young good looking men. Big Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple fan in my teens, Plant, Page and Gillan had good hair. Evan Dando had too)

For your situation I don't think I could be bothered dignifying (is that spelt correctly?) beyond a sort of Vicki Pollard "whatever" shrug.

HarrietSchulenberg · 20/07/2015 22:03

Mine have all had long hair at various times. Ds3 asked to get his hair cut short when he was 6 as he decided he wanted to look like other boys, but it never bothered him before that. People always used to comment that he looked like a girl, to which I replied, "Yes, his hair is lovely, isn't it!".

Ds1 is 14 and has recently shaved his hair off "for a change", having had it below shoulder length for about a year. Although it was his choice it was influenced by negative comments from peers, teachers etc, but he seems happier now that he doesn't have to "run the gauntlet" every day.

Ds2 is the latest to have an aversion to hairdressers and currently has hair heading shoulderwards. The only problem he has is that he'll soon have to tie it back for Science, Cooking and PE, like his brother did, and I think he'll soon tire of it.

Hair length and style is such a personal thing that I pretty much leave them to it as long as they keep it clean, just forking out for haircuts when they ask. None of us really give a stuff about what other people might think.

TeiTetua · 20/07/2015 21:52

Say, "His dad and I aren't too concerned about it. He looks like himself, is what we say."

CultureSucksDownWords · 20/07/2015 20:17

I think there's two kinds of reply depending on what mood you're in. So you could just stonewall them, and reply "oh, do you think so? It doesn't bother me", and repeat repeat repeat until they learn you're not interested in engaging about it.

The other option if you're feeling a bit confrontational is to persistently question them and force them to try and explain/justify their comments. So, reply with "why is looking like a girl a problem exactly?" and so on until they give up or realize how absurd they're being!

UptoapointLordCopper · 20/07/2015 20:06

My DC are school age and have disgracefully long and messy hair. To all comments I shrug and say "they like it". To those who specifically say that I should do something about it I ask why and for some reason they don't pursue it.

I too have short hair, no make-up ever, and nobody has ever mistaken me for a man.

I agree with you that it's terrible that looking like or acting like a girl is a bad thing.