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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I don't identify as a feminist - so why does this get on my nerves?

232 replies

SophieJenkins · 02/07/2015 07:05

I was listening in the car to WH yesterday and they were doing their 'power list', first off discussing Kim Kardashian (have a vague idea who she is but not much) and then they started off the list and after about 1 or 2 interesting women, they announced Caitlyn Jenner.

I turned it off instantly as I couldn't listen. I don't know why but it just made me really angry.

I didn't want to start another thread about this as I realise from titles that people were getting sick of them, but cant get it out of my head and wondered if anyone could briefly help me figure out why it pissed me off SO much?

If we're not allowed to discuss this then I apologise and feel free to tell me. I haven't been reading any of the other threads about it which perhaps I should have done after all.

I think I feel like being female has been hijacked by someone and used to get publicity - when a lot of women are denied even the basic human rights that come with being a bloke.

And then to be put on a list of high achieving women for what? For wanting to be a woman?

I don't get it.

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SophieJenkins · 03/07/2015 06:42

I don't dispute that it is difficult to suffer with a sense of misplaced gender. I have no personal experience of it (I'm sure that is obvious) but can sympathise because I'm well aware of the social prejudices people encounter about all sorts of issues, including disability, mental illness, race and so on. (partly through personal experience, which I am certain everyone on here has some of, in some way)

This is far from the point, though, which is that gender is very much a social construct in any case while sex is a biological fact (in nearly everyone - though there are exceptions of course) so the question I suppose is how one defines gender, and how this affects our rights or privileges, or otherwise, in society.

I mean what women are allowed to do, what men are allowed to do, the difference being a woman makes to the way one is treated, and what it is about being a woman that some men identify with so strongly - ie, which part of the social construct they identify with, because you can't identify with having a woman's body, it being a fact of biology. You either have one or you don't.

I hope I am using those terms correctly, not being familiar with the wider argument that has been going on for a while.

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EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 03/07/2015 04:30

Transgender people go through much worse than biological women in general

See I just don't accept that to be true

I'm not saying being trans is easy but no I don't think gender dysphoria is necessarily worse than (if you want to compare it to western women's issues rather than global issues such as underage marriage, fgm and rape as a tool of war) societal pressures to conform to feminine gender roles, body shaming women who don't meet beauty standards, discrimination in the workplace based on reproductive potential, sexual harassment and assault due to being female, poorer career opportunities due to being female, lower pay for the same work, I could go on.
Gender dysphoria is a condition that affects people psychologically and must be very difficult to live with. But so is post natal depression, anorexia, and body dysmorphia, all of which are either exclusively or mainly female conditions. There is nothing in my mind that makes gender dysphoria a worse situation than being female in any society.

ArabellaStrange · 03/07/2015 00:33

Well actually I have always felt that I should have been a cat or a bird but guess what, I'm not! I am a human female and no amount of parading around dressed as a cat is going to change that!

sarahd1988 · 03/07/2015 00:10

Transgender people go through much worse than biological women in general (excluding certain parts of the world).

Imagine going through life desperately feeling like you don't belong in your own body, only to have people mock, ridicule and bully you and to totally dismiss your problem as a 'mental illness' when you finally address the problem.

I am a biological woman who was born a woman in the UK and I feel very lucky to be in that position. Transwomen are much less fortunate than I am.

SophieJenkins · 02/07/2015 22:03

I think in terms of poster boys (girls), if I were transgender, I would be bloody well distancing myself from the likes of these weirdos.

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InnocentWhenYouDream · 02/07/2015 21:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 02/07/2015 21:28

Kellie Maloney also homophobic don't forget which caused her immense confusion when someone pointed out that she is a lesbian now. IIRC I don't follow sleb stuff much but I seem to remember that happened on bir bro?

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 02/07/2015 21:27

Is this the same old "well men attacking their female partners is often excusable because of XYZ excuses and anyway she probably goaded him or something" stuff?

Wasn't going to post on this thread (although an interesting read) but that comment seems off, maybe it meant something else? Lou?

Sootgremlin · 02/07/2015 18:12

The definition of po faced is 'humourless and disapproving' so yes, I don't find humour in domestic violence and I am disapproving of it. It's a fair cop.

I said I know nothing else about Frank/Kelly, so wouldn't know in what ways she would be influential. I had no need to read further, just as I don't research every newspaper article I happen across. I don't wish anybody ill, but frankly I think we could throw our net a little wider looking for powerful, influential women than those who, in their former positions of male privilege, acted selfishly and damagingly to the women around them, just because they happen to be current tabloid fodder.

Kellie (as Frank) was successful in a field he probably would never have got into had he been a woman, a role in a field that is not widely accessible to women; I'm guessing his career success and notability is the reason people are interested in his story now, similar to Bruce.

Anniegetyourgun · 02/07/2015 18:01

If it was Kellie Maloney it could have been all about the racism, is that what you mean? Or what?

YonicScrewdriver · 02/07/2015 17:55

Lou, judging someone for part- strangling their spouse is Po faced?

LazyLouLou · 02/07/2015 17:32

It is sad that that is all you know, Sootgremlin.

A little bit more information and you would know the factors that led to it, what came after it, and, maybe, why your po-faced response is somewhat lacking!

InnocentWhenYouDream · 02/07/2015 17:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sootgremlin · 02/07/2015 17:10

Yes lazyloulou we would have been focussing on someone who nearly strangled his ex-wife because of his gender frustration making a list of influential women, but that's the only thing I've read about Kellie Maloney.

LazyLouLou · 02/07/2015 16:01

If only they had chosen Kellie Maloney instead..... this would be an entirely different conversation!

YonicScrewdriver · 02/07/2015 15:04

Sophie, I think Kim is Jenner's stepdaughter, not daughter. Though I believe Jenner's marriage to Kim's mother is now over.

I could be wrong though, I'm not good at sleb stuff!

Lottapianos · 02/07/2015 14:29

'It's insulting to think that that is what he's suggesting a 'woman' is - a glammed up person posing in their underwear.'

Exactly Sophie. Its such a hackneyed, fantasy version of what a woman is i.e. all about how you look.

ethelb · 02/07/2015 13:38

Sophie, exactly. It rather proves the autogynephiliac points lots of people on these threads make.

SophieJenkins · 02/07/2015 13:33

I don't really understand what he's doing.

I don't think dressing like that and being on the cover of a magazine is anything to do with identifying as female. That's not what 'female' is about.

It's insulting to think that that is what he's suggesting a 'woman' is - a glammed up person posing in their underwear.

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Sootgremlin · 02/07/2015 13:12

Meant to add that it's a false choice anyway, seeing as Hilary Clinton and Sheryl Sandberg aren't on it, or many, many other influential women.

ethelb · 02/07/2015 13:09

Caitlyn Jenner became famous as a man. Bruce Jenner used his white penis as a way to obtain superior sports funding and recognition in his field.

Caitlyn Jenner simply appeared on the front cover of a magazine with unfeasibly pert tits for someone in their 60s.

Male privilege let her leap frog over other, worthier woman, and we should call bullshit.

Sootgremlin · 02/07/2015 13:03

Well, I'm not a fan of Kim K, but she owns an IPad app that made 43 million dollars in three months, just from a quick google. She's a mother who supports her child financially and is a woman so would have my vote over Caitlyn.

DollieDagger · 02/07/2015 12:56

Yes Sophie, Caitlyn is still in full possession of their meat & two veg. But actual women are now apparently expected to blindly accept that the penis can be a female organ (see my pp).

Lurcio, thanks for linking to the Forbes List - that's fascinating and much more like it! Some very inspiring women there Smile

SophieJenkins · 02/07/2015 12:48

Hang on - he still has a penis? Seriously? And he expects to be called a woman?

Well fuck THAT!

I didn't know he was Kim Kardashian's dad either. Poor kid.

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YonicScrewdriver · 02/07/2015 12:37

Even if WH were lookign at Influencers, it's still titled 'Power List'