Today my 9 year old has been taught that as she grows older, hair will grow on her vagina!

Yops Thu 25-Jun-15 13:32:03
I was referring to a lack of knowledge within the male gender about terms that could be used to specify certain parts of the penis.

...

...male sex.

Poor kids!

I think my NO sex education was better than this.

The thought of a hairy vagina really makes me cringe - Yuck.

Ah Ask but you're in the minority!!

Actually IKnowIAm one of my pet hates is people referring to babies being in pregnant women's stomachs.

They're being gestated, not digested.

Re proper terminology rather than euphemisms, the example that was given to us when Glasgow introduced the new Sexual Health and Relationships Education was that by teaching and being open about the correct names, teachers were less likely to miss warning signs from children talking about, say, "My uncle plays with my bunny and I don't like it/he tells me not to tell anyone"

Jeez, she's only learning that now. Has she not seen her parents naked? I've got a couple of facts of life books in the bookcase that my DCs all looked through well before the age of 9. I just think these things are less embarrassing when tackled sooner rather than later. I agree with the other posters tho - it is a vulva not a vagina. Sex education should be as factual as 2 x 3 does not equal 5.

I hope none of you refer to your stomachs when meaning your abdomens then!!

Also it's surely quite likely that a child suffering sexual abuse won't bounce up and say "he touched my flower" out of the blue. She may feel embarrassed, worried, want to come at it obliquely to make it seem safer to talk etc. And a specialist in the area has told us such words do make it harder to take a case to court or take other protective actions.

Anyway, none of this is the point. It would be great if there was a word that was as universally accepted and used as matter of factly as willy. I don't see how anyone could dispute that, even if they themselves didn't use it and called willies and fannies Cecils and Agathas.

I take your point on the vagina monologues (although I would also contend that the 3 syllable 'vagina' scans better with the 3 syllable 'monologues than a 2 syllable 'vulva' would. Doesn't mean that we shouldn't be teaching kids the right words when it comes to anatomy.

On your first though - yes, actually, my kids at least, they might not have the flower anymore, it might not be a real flower, it might be something they've decided is named flower, they might have been fighting over it, or suddenly decided that it was theirs and they didn't want to share it. - really, I've had kids come and complain to me about far weirder things than someone looking at a flower, and it just wouldn't occur to me that they meant something else.

If a child came running in and said "so and so wanted to look at my flower" and then ran off again I would assume it was something to do with flowers.

In the absence of any immediately obvious flos you would assume the child meant flowers rather than a part of the body usually kept private? It's a daft word but do children frequently carry flowers which they don't want others to see?

Incidentally should The Vagina Monologues be The Vulva Monologues? Does it contribute to the assumption vagina is an all embracing term?

I haven't seen it but one of the monologues Because He Liked to Look At It, is a woman describing how she had thought her vagina was ugly and had been embarrassed to even think about it but changed her mind because of a sexual experience with a man who liked to spend hours looking at it. Presumably this is referring to visible parts of the vulva not her vagina?

The play also refers to "vagina hair"

she said nobbery

Yops, I'll stop with the sarcasm or at least try to make it funny, when you stop with the nobbery.

Deal?

touching anyone anywhere without their permission is wrong

I guess you've never travelled on the underground then .

I get where the PANTS thing is coming from, but touching anyone anywhere without their permission is wrong. Not just areas that generally aren't on show.

We have 'pet' names for girl's and boy's private parts, just like we have nicknames for the kids which other people don't use either. I think a teacher saying 'willy' to any year group above Y1 would be quite cringeworthy, tbh. 'Willy' is more well known than any girl euphemisms, but I still wouldn't expect a teacher to use it.

I don't see the problem with 'pubic area' or 'private parts' if it is a public discussion. We are really not prudish, very open, my kids know all about everything and we've never been odd about nakedness in our house.

The NSPCC has a PANTS campaign which is good as of course bottoms/bums are also private.

Merry, do you feel the same about the word willy?

We also call 'breasts' boobs our house !!!!

I'm not squeamish but I do think in school 'pubic area' is best as they are so giggly and embarrassed already.

I don't think however open or medically accurate you are, the embarrassment will go. In fact, I'd go as far as to say it is actually right to feel the embarrassment as a child as it is a form of protection, and comes from knowing this place is special/ different from other places. You should feel differently about your vagina/ vulva/ labia/ mons pubis than you do about your arm, because it is a private place and not to be touched, viewed by any old Tom, Dick or Harry.

I do wonder what the boys were told, and do think it's an issue that there isn't a commonly used word like willy for girls. It is a pity that fanny isn't widely used because I thin it is equivalent really. That doesn't mean that there couldn't be other words as well of course, just like there are for boys sexual/peeing organs, but I agree they are a bit different.

I think I'd say that pubic hair will grow in the pubic area for both boys and girls (don't think I actually said anything at all other than you will get hairy like me/dad and they knew what that meant from having seen us naked). I used penis and vulva but dd picked up some other euphemisms from somewhere or other.

I don't tend to think of my mons pubis as being part of my vulva (I tend to think of the labia and in as my vulva) and I don't think I have any pubic hair on my inner labia, just the outer labia so to me saying you will get hair on your vulva just doesn't seem very accurate. Vagina is obviously wrong though.

I've heard of Minnie; never thought of it as coming from minge though!

I stuck with vulva and vagina as the easiest option when faced with boys quizzing me about their baby sister and then to console her when she got upset about not having a willy. Seems that nursery also refer to vulvas, so now I've had a year of "mummy! Can you wipe my vulva?"and "you didn't wipe me properly, there's still wee on my vulva" and "no I don't want to wipe my vulva myself" about 3x a day...

I did explain periods as a "mummy cushion" coming out, though.

I've seen a bunch of gynaecologists (all male) and had way too many discussions about my genitalia and being able to use humourless clinical terms helped a lot.

I would not in the past not know about any of those terms (only on mumsnet have I found them)

We just did the correct anatomy in my family, ya know, bladder, not pee bag etc.

And on this "And balls are used to refer to the scrotum, which is wrong, and another common misnomer"...

If I say balls I mean testicles. If I mean the sack in which they are suspended then I say scrotum. If I mean the prostate, I say prostate.

Really? Ah my DM wasnt local so maybe it was normal to her and hadnt made it up afterall! Its a world of fanny and minge where i am. Minge is never said in a nice way mind.

Yep - I've heard of min and minny. Thought they were pretty well known terms tbh

I remember asking my DM what it was called that girls had instead of willies. I was getting walked to school so i dunno what i called it the years previously. Anyway she told me it was a 'min'! I also rsmember seeing a word written down in class (couldve been minimum) and covering it up to say 'min' and pissing myself and telling my friend to look and she was like WTF. I later realised that everyone else called it a fanny and thats what i still call it now as done everyone i know. No one says vaginas or penises.

Despite that ive not corrected my dd to stop saying boo boo and start saying fanny. Only just realised that i also think it would be crass from a 2yr old and maybe ive always said fanny in the same way id say cunt.

Seriously though has anyone else ever heard of a min?!