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Original poster

Am I right thinking this is sexist?

32 replies

startrek90 · 14/06/2015 11:04

Been a long time lurker, trying to learn more about feminism. This seemed off to me and I want to know what you think.

I was talking with my inlaws and some friends recently about my sis who has had a baby boy. My sister has followed our family tradition and given her son his father's name as a middle name (I did the same) and people said how lovely it was to honor the father etc...

We started to talk about girls names and my DH said (in the interests of fairness) he would like to give our daughter my name. Well everyone started to say how vain and distasteful it was and how any daughter would hate it etc...

This seemed off to me. That it's ok to honor a father but to do the same for a mother is wrong. It seems to go hand in hand with not acknowledging mothers on wedding certificates (I had to put my absentee father on instead of the person who raised me and cared for me). I thought this was sexist. Am I right? Or have I not got the right idea?

OP posts:
OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 14/06/2015 11:53

Natural?

It's baffling to me how people justify these things sometimes.

OneDayWhenIGrowUp · 14/06/2015 11:53

Natural?

It's baffling to me how people justify these things sometimes.

Original poster
startrek90 · 14/06/2015 11:48

Yes it was the same conversation. I assure you this did happen. They honestly couldn't see anything wrong with the dichotomy. The argument was that giving a son his fathers name was more 'natural' than doing the same for a daughter.

OP posts:
tribpot · 14/06/2015 11:25

Did they literally in the same conversation say this was a lovely thing to do for fathers and vain and selfish to do for mothers? How did they explain the difference when you asked them? It just seems so unlikely - that a girl would hate having her mother's name as a middle name, why?

Original poster
startrek90 · 14/06/2015 11:21

What I don't understand is why people think like that. Why are mothers worth less? That's what it feels like.

OP posts:
LurcioAgain · 14/06/2015 11:19

Yes, they do sound sexist and frankly a bit bonkers. Thank heavens your DH sounds sane!

On its own, a family tradition where a name goes down through the geneerations isn't sexist. My cousin's DH's family have this with the boys name. My family has a middle name that goes down the female line - my mum had it, I have it, my sister's eldest has it. It's a nice name, and a nice idea.

But to challenge the idea of extending a tradition to daughter's names when it's always been done with son's names - yes that is sexist.

Moln · 14/06/2015 11:13

have I got this right, the family think;

father's first name as son's first name = lovely and a great honour.

Mother's first name as daughter's middle name = vain, distasteful and not a honour (interpreted from the idea the daughter will obviously hate it)

Yes that's sexist.