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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Just a bit of a question not a judgement about the boards

236 replies

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 21/05/2015 19:44

I tend to go between various topics to see what others are saying. If I'm being honest the large part of my time here is spent in either Chat, AIBU or Relationships. I know those topics aren't a representation of MNet as a whole but you go where you go nonetheless.
I was just wondering if anyone had come across responses to various threads in which they thought "What on earth!?"

On the relationships board I've often found the 'Tell it like it is' clan, who often, if not always, have nothing better to offer than variations of 'LTB' are rife and are never actually helpful in way of advice or support.

Chat is normally relaxed... and AIBU is usually set up for a flaming of sorts. This is the internet after all so no-one should be losing sleep but I've always wondered how this would appear from a feminist perspective - The advice we are offering each other here.

I'm not complaining about these boards as I've often found a lot of supportive advice but one comment that hit me was someone saying that they couldn't believe the amount of ingrained misogyny on various threads.

OP posts:
Blistory · 21/05/2015 23:30

Eh ? I'm sorry but I feel like I've got a target painted on me suddenly so I'm going to follow scallops and say that I'm also out.

Bit too raw right now for this.

scallopsrgreat · 21/05/2015 23:27

Yet you've been completely dismissive of the Relationships board Confused

I'm out.

didyouwritethe · 21/05/2015 23:27

Blistory, what do you think is a feminist position on supporting other women?

scallopsrgreat · 21/05/2015 23:26

I'm tending to agree with AF (there's a surprise!). But tbh I cba to find out whether your motives are genuine or not. Or the point of this thread. I suspect I was on the same thread as Blistory earlier in the week and there were too many disingenuous posters on there for me to go down that path again so soon.

Sorry OP hope you get the answers/debate you want.

Blistory · 21/05/2015 23:24

Well, yes and no.

As a general principle I'm all for supporting women but equally I'm not going to ignore them being dicks just because they are women.

almondcakes · 21/05/2015 23:24

Well, I think from a feminist perspective, it is very important to let women know that if they feel they cannot leave their partners, other women and feminist organisations will still be there to support them within the situation.

And from a feminist perspective, I find people saying things like tell your partner to leave, tell him to wash up, tell him to do whatever, to frequently be unrealistic.

Is that the the kind of thing you mean, OP?

Please note I pretty much never go on the relationship boards, so can't comment on them.

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 21/05/2015 23:20

Blistory Any space that allows women to debate women's issues is very valuable! I agree with you on that. Fallen through rabbit hole is a favourite saying of mine.
But, we, nonetheless we have a duty to each other to be supportive. Not dismissive.

OP posts:
FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 21/05/2015 23:15

AF Your analysis is wrong but please feel free to put the boot in. I haven't insulted you - just so you're sure. hth

OP posts:
Blistory · 21/05/2015 23:15

Who's waging war on anyone ?

Sorry but I'm just not getting any of this.

AnyFucker · 21/05/2015 23:14
Smile
Blistory · 21/05/2015 23:13

Coincidentally I posted on a thread earlier this week that I felt like I'd fallen down the rabbit hole and here I am again feeling the same way.

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 21/05/2015 23:11

scallop sorry for misunderstanding, 'one' means I am a woman and therefore wouldn't wage a war on women for nothing sake.

OP posts:
Blistory · 21/05/2015 23:10

I'm reading it as what do feminists think about women giving each other advice and what about if the advice is wrong or unrealistic ?

If so, I think any space where women talk openly and freely is valuable as it allows women's voices to be heard. Other than that, I'm struggling to take my thoughts any further on this one.

AnyFucker · 21/05/2015 23:09

It looks like this is a thread complaining about the relationships board or at least some of the people that regularly post there

even though Op has said she has got a huge amount of support from it...

there are vague hints about how it actually damages relationships to urge women to stand up for themselves but op seems unable to articulate how that could happen

there are random insertions of the word "feminist" to "explain" why this was put on a feminist board, but no actual feminist analysis has been presented in any shape or form

and I think I have been insulted on more than one occasion, but still can't work it out for sure

I think that about sums it up

clear as ???

scallopsrgreat · 21/05/2015 23:08

^I am one and at that happen to be a regular on the relationships board." I never said you weren't on (whatever "one" is).

Koalafications · 21/05/2015 23:07

I'm really confused. Confused

scallopsrgreat · 21/05/2015 23:06

Well I don't know why you'd want to, Fallen. But what your OP seems to imply is "are women doing it right?"

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 21/05/2015 23:03

scallop I am one and at that happen to be a regular on the relationships board. This thread isn't about that board!

bilstory not sure what you don't understand but I am happy to clarify anything and everything.

OP posts:
almondcakes · 21/05/2015 23:01

I don't understand either. Is this a thread about the relationship boards?

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 21/05/2015 23:01

Why would I want to have a go at women? scallop

OP posts:
scallopsrgreat · 21/05/2015 22:59

I must admit I don't either Blistory. It just seems like another opportunity to have a go at women tbh.

SenecaFalls · 21/05/2015 22:58

I don't understand what you are actually complaining about.

I have to admit that I am also confused.

There are some posters on relationship threads who don't seem to know much about intimate partner violence, and that concerns me. But I find that other posters usually point out the bad advice fairly quickly.

I also think we need to be careful how we use "misogyny" so that its meaning does not get diluted. And we need to be especially careful when we use it to describe the attitudes and beliefs of other women.

Blistory · 21/05/2015 22:56

I'd contribute but I just don't understand the thread.

JeanneDeMontbaston · 21/05/2015 22:50

Thanks for saying so.

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 21/05/2015 22:50

Jeanne You are not invisible and there is no bun-fighting. I appreciate your contribution.

AF Not complaining about anything just pointing something out which is worth debate. I don't get why that bothers you so much. Is there a rule book I missed out on when I signed up...

OP posts:
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