Just a bit of a question not a judgement about the boards

I'm am not very reasonable Shaska. You just caught me in a reasonable mood. I massively over reacted to something not long ago and had to apologise,

Fallen, have you been drinking?

I'm really not... qualified... to say this I don't think. I mean, I haven't been here very long and I'm pretty sure I'm not part of the 'mob' that seems to get mentioned (or am I?!). And people like.. well for example Blistory, I guess I worry it'll seem like I'm out of turn or trying to speak on behalf of others or something. But here goes anyway!

It's interesting how Pagwatch (I know who you are, at least! I read mn!) is baffled by this thread. I mean, I'm baffled by this thread, but I'm less baffled by the talk about mobs and bullying. Because honestly, I've been reading here regularly for just a few weeks and seen it over, and over, and over. It's weird. It doesn't happen on other boards, just this one.

And I started to wonder well is it true? I mean, for myself, even - part of the mob or not. That thread that went tits up the other day I genuinely thought at times, wait, am I horrible?

And there are posters like almondcakes who are really, really reasonable and thoughtful. But the best that seems to happen is a sort of 'well you're ok but just to remind you everyone else is really not ok at all' response. And if you're remotely... prickly or flippant or even just not really really careful what you say, the whole mob/bullying/'this is why I hate FWR' calls start

I dunno. I shouldn't really be posting this, I suppose. Not my circus etc. But as someone new, at times I've wondered if there's stuff I don't know. Like, a backstory. Possibly in real life. Involving swords, or polonium or something. I mean, just because it makes so little sense to me.

Anyway, that was besides the point

Quite.

You don't have to apologise to me! I am totally fine with coherent rants.

Almond, apologies for the rant. I know the merits and benefits in trying to dial it all back a bit - I just didn't manage to sit on my hands in time. Guilty of doing what I accused others of.

Blistory, I know you've had an unpleasant week on here, and that posters on here get a lot of grief.

I think right now I can't think of a way of discussing this thread within the wider context of other threads where you and others have been poorly treated that isn't going to upset or annoy someone or possibly everyone.

So I should probably not try right now.

Has internet activism reduced political campaigning to this?

Dear God, though, Orlando, people should have some principle to hold on to.

Sorry, almond, I know you're being entirely reasonable and I appreciate your efforts but posters have to accept the consequences of their posts and appreciate that harm can be a two way street. Quite why anyone thinks feminists are immune from being hurt and offended is beyond me.

Anyone can be hurt and offended - and harm can be a 2 way street. There are consequences to posts - even when people don't suspect it.

You might find it relevant as some of it talks about accelerators - where person X says something person or group Y might not like, and a whole load of people attack person X who are not in group Y - accelerators

Indeed. Happens a lot. Pile in and some people feel mobbed out and stop contributing.

I suppose that's what internet activism is like.

I know this is going to come across as petulant but I am getting really tired of having to suck it up and accept the shit that gets thrown at posters on here.

If I was to list every insult thrown at FWR posters in the last week, it'd be a pretty long list. It's clear that we are never going to get past the erroneous notions people have about this section and the posters on it.

I'm all for taking any poster at face value initially but when everyone is tiptoeing around desperate not to cause offence, there's no meaningful discussion about feminism going on. We're so apologetic to those who insult us that we're being shut down as we all try to disprove a crappy stereotype that isn't true in the first place.

I'll be perfectly pleasant to anyone who wishes to engage but I'm fucked if I going to roll out the welcome mat to all those who come here with an agenda or preconceived notion about what a bear pit this is.

And I am not going to be called a bully or watch others be denigrated unfairly just to keep the peace.

Sorry, almond, I know you're being entirely reasonable and I appreciate your efforts but posters have to accept the consequences of their posts and appreciate that harm can be a two way street. Quite why anyone thinks feminists are immune from being hurt and offended is beyond me.

(Never went to uni)

I think the whole board dynamic is fascinating. Im not sure the ways in which the boards were caricatured in the op is a good springboard for that though.
If you want to discuss the feminist perspective of group responses, you can't discuss it if you , for example, suggest that a thoughtless hoard roam relationships mindlessly suggesting posters kick their partners out. Because I don't think that happens so the basic premise is flawed.

Or something.

I did say up thread the best thing might be if the OP regroup, organise her thought and try again. And I have gin.

But that was taken as being part of a 'bullying' thing. So it's hard to see a way to get any movement forward.

OK, I'm going to be brave and pick out the first thing I didn't really understand.

I've always wondered how this would appear from a feminist perspective - The advice we are giving each other here.

Now this, I am sure, is because I don't frequent the feminist board. I occasionally do lurk here, but the threads seem to rapidly become things I don't understand, or don't have time to think about. Nevertheless, I read the op and hoped I'd get some idea. Obviously, that didn't happen.

It seemed that in one post the LTBers were being criticised (though my exerience is that they are very rarely wrong once a poster's life has been looked at more deeply) and various other criticismswere being slung about, but mostly it wasn't clear to me what the subject of the thread was, what the OP wanted to say - which seemed to be either contradicted by her next post or explained in ways I simply couldn't make head or tail of.

There. Thicko that I am. The shame is almost more than I can stand

Fallen, honestly the reason you're getting the responses you're getting is that nobody understands what you're trying to discuss.

I get the bit about it's easier to say LTB than do it, but then wouldn't your OP be better off saying 'can we discuss the issue of giving advice that's hard to take' or something?

I don't get what feminism, misogyny and other random board mentions are about, no connection as far as I can make out.

Or did you want to discuss something else? If so, what?

How likely do you think that is, almondcakes?

Could everyone not write this whole thread off as a massive, confusing misunderstanding?

Because I think everyone on here, including the OP, has interesting feminist stuff in their heads, and this thread has just gone a bit wrong.

OP, I hope you come back and post about stuff in this section in the future.

Crikey Fallen.
You are still making no sense at all, your relies show you don't understand my posts at all.
Why not just have a gin and call it quits?