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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Just a bit of a question not a judgement about the boards

236 replies

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 21/05/2015 19:44

I tend to go between various topics to see what others are saying. If I'm being honest the large part of my time here is spent in either Chat, AIBU or Relationships. I know those topics aren't a representation of MNet as a whole but you go where you go nonetheless.
I was just wondering if anyone had come across responses to various threads in which they thought "What on earth!?"

On the relationships board I've often found the 'Tell it like it is' clan, who often, if not always, have nothing better to offer than variations of 'LTB' are rife and are never actually helpful in way of advice or support.

Chat is normally relaxed... and AIBU is usually set up for a flaming of sorts. This is the internet after all so no-one should be losing sleep but I've always wondered how this would appear from a feminist perspective - The advice we are offering each other here.

I'm not complaining about these boards as I've often found a lot of supportive advice but one comment that hit me was someone saying that they couldn't believe the amount of ingrained misogyny on various threads.

OP posts:
FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 21/05/2015 21:41

scallop That wasn't what I was asking at all. Not in the slightest. I'm very much in support of women leaving abusers but that wasn't the point I was making.

AF Thanks! Good for you!

TBR I was just asking what you make of some of the advice offered on here considering it isn't as easy as just doing ABC. Be it LTB or negotiating a pay rise or whatever. I'd describe myself as a feminist but I'd also describe myself as a realist. Just because I'd like ABC to happen doesn't mean it will and certainly I'd rather approach threads from the point of view of being understanding rather than judgemental. I was just wondering if anyone had experienced or thought similar.

OP posts:
JeanneDeMontbaston · 21/05/2015 21:39

I don't follow: are you saying you don't think there is much ingrained misogyny? On MN, or in general?

Or are you saying it's odd for people to suggest breaking up a marriage, too?

Surely all of these things depend on context.

TeiTetua · 21/05/2015 21:33

FallenThroughTheRabitHole did say at the end, "one comment that hit me was someone saying that they couldn't believe the amount of ingrained misogyny on various threads". I'd call that worthy of note by feminists, that somebody's saying that people on Mumsnet (the vast majority of them women) don't like women, or at least think women belong in a subordinate position.

Personally I hardly ever venture onto other parts of Mumsnet, except AIBU when I'm feeling bored, so I can't say I agree with this or not. It's a sad thing if true. Maybe if someone is saying "you're an idiot" it gets interpreted as "you're saying something women shouldn't say" (or similar dismissive response based on gender). And also, maybe there's an instinct that women ought to behave better than men, and so if a woman doesn't behave well, she's failing as a woman and not just as a rude person.

TheBlackRider · 21/05/2015 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 21/05/2015 21:15

No, I took it literally

cheers Thanks

scallopsrgreat · 21/05/2015 21:15

"On the relationships board I've often found the 'Tell it like it is' clan, who often, if not always, have nothing better to offer than variations of 'LTB' are rife and are never actually helpful in way of advice or support. " Hmm

And you want a feminist slant on why astute women tell other women suffering at the hands of abusers to leave them?

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 21/05/2015 21:05

I agree about numbers almond S&B has always been pleasant, I do admit.

July I've often experienced the same thoughts... often within the same thread as it happens!

AF hope you caught on to my sense of irony r.e. helpful...

OP posts:
almondcakes · 21/05/2015 20:37

Some sections have more of a sense of community feel than others; it is probably due to the number of posters. AIBU has large numbers of posters; in areas like S&B the numbers are smaller and so they tend to be kinder and gently remind others to be.

JulyKit · 21/05/2015 19:58

Fallen, the only question in your OP seems to be if anyone had come across responses to various threads in which they thought "What on earth!?"

In answer to that, well yes, of course I have, many times. and I've also thought:

  • Wow, that's interesting.
  • Really?
  • Utter bullshit.
  • Grin
  • Sad
  • Hmm
  • OMG, I must remember that.
  • I want to ask a question...
  • I can help here.
  • OMG, that poster is really smart.
  • Nowt so odd as folk.
  • I've been on here far too long, must get back to work.
  • etc., etc....

Does that help answer your question?

FallenThroughTheRabitHole · 21/05/2015 19:51

Where should I have posted?

I did so because it is to do with feminism. Not an innocent question, we're not children! I'd appreciate diverse views.
You are also apparently one of the most helpful people on here I've seen Biscuit AnyFucker

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/05/2015 19:46

why have you posted this innocent question on a Feminism topic ?

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