Wedding 'giving away' tradition

Just chatted to my wife about this.. We are committed Christians and for her she says she leaves her feminist side at the door of the church. Some won't agree this this but hey ho,

As for our church wedding, she says she took it very much as pomp and ceremony with the important bit being the commitment in the eyes of God that meant everything to us.

Sanity

Whoknows, a lot of my acquaintances have announced in that way recently - I am sure it varies among groups obviously

Sanity, you win the thread

I wasn't given away. DH and I came in together. It didn't occur to me until about 10 years later that my dad might mind. I asked if he did and he said "I gave you away years before that" as DH and I had been together about 7 years before we got married.

i got married in Las Vegas, and Elvis walked me down the aisle. He didn't "give me away", though, mostly because I wasn't his to give.

Following scandichick's post:

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/sweden/7750368/Swedish-princess-emulating-sexist-British-tradition-of-giving-bride-away.html

My mum gave me away. There was only me and her growing up, so it seemed appropriate to have her hold my hand and take me to the next stage of my life.

DWH, the break with tradition is surely more likely to lead to walking down the aisle together, or each with own parents, not simply reversing the current set up?

It's been tradition to walk up the aisle together in Scandinavia since the Middle Ages, to show that the couple are getting married of their own free will.

I love the symbolism of that, and it was nice to walk in together from a practical perspective, too - we could be nervous together instead of apart.

Recently the Anglo-Saxon handover hast started creeping in, despite church resistance (they want to keep it equal). Back when I was on wedding rather than parenting forums, many attributed their break with tradition to wanting a 'special moment' with their dad. Funnily enough, they never craved that special moment with their mums...

I've heard "who gives this woman etc" at most weddings I've been to (mostly CofE).

I wasn't that arsed to do it, but it meant a lot to my dad and I didn't want to take it away from him. We definitely didn't do it in a "who gives this woman to be married" way as we had a very quick civil ceremony. I remember watching my friend being "given away" at a religious ceremony where her hand was passed from male relative's to husband's and that made me a bit

(And, in all honesty, I'm glad I had someone to lean on while walking down the aisle - kept me steady!)

I think the 'Who giveth this woman?' is common in the Church of England. I haven't seen it in any of the Church of Scotland weddings I've attended.

Remember, we've had mother's professions on the marriage certificate for decades. England has still to even add mother's names at all or have I got that wrong?

My sister's husband was walked down the isle by his parents, my sister by my parents. Joining of two families being the symbolism I suppose. They also all drank whiskey from a quaich. I think.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" is not a phrase I have ever heard in any wedding I have ever been to. As to who walks down the isle with the bride I have seen a lot of different combinations, bride alone, bride with flower girls, bride with dad, bride with parents, etc.

The interesting thing I think is the groom waits at the front of the ceremony for the bride to join him. People do not really seem to care these days who walks down the isle with the bride, but I bet their heads would explode if it was the bride at the front first and the groom walked up the isle.

Yes, it was "we've decided to get married" for us, it would never have occurred to me to say it any other way if I'm honest. Although I think that's pretty standard, I don't recall ever hearing anyone announce an engagement by saying the DP had proposed.

My dad often said he would never forgive me if I married and didn't let him give me away, going so far as to say he wouldn't attend. He'd say "if you loved me you'd be proud to have me give you away"

We always planned to get married in registry office, just dh, me and two witnesses and that's exactly what we did. Dad had died the year before, but if he was alive when we married, I have no doubt that he'd have disowned me for not doing what he wanted.

He used the word "tradition" a lot, but threw a strop and my brothers wedding when he couldn't make a speech, but the father of the bride could, apparently that's not "tradition" it's SIL playing "favourites" he ruined the whole day sulking and I knew then I'd never be having a family wedding.

I agree about a lavish proposal. Also dp and I have discussed this and have said that if we choose to get married we would let people know by saying "we have decided to get married" rather than "he has proposed and I accepted" or similar. I know it is just words etc but the distinction is important to us

I wasn't given away either, my dad made a joke about it during his speech but I think was secretly proud

The madthings will also walk up the aisle with me.

I walked in with my mum and sister, and at the "who gives this woman?" bit my entire extended family shouted "we do!". My idea, and it was lovely.

I am getting married this month, after 17 yrs and five kids together... Just registry office followed by pizza express for lunch and was really torn on this. I will not be changing my name, yhe madthings have both surnames and it's not a traditional or big wedding but I have chosen to let my dad give me away/walk me down the aisle, though it's just a row between chairs.. Purely because I know my dad will love it. He is not old fashioned and like I say dp and I have been together 17 years. Our wedding is for the legal protection it affords and because it will be a nice celebration for us and the children.

We would rather have a civil union but as that is not possible a simple registry office, non religious wedding is the next best thing. Doing this one thing will make my dad very happy, and I can bite my tongue over my principles for that.

I wasn't given away. I hate the idea as I'm not property. I think my dad was a bit upset by it though.

I told him he should have raised subservient stepford wives in training rather than the free thinking, independent women he brought up. Dead sensitive me

My mum will be walking me down the aisle. 'Giving away' is hopelessly antiquated but the transition from one nuclear family to another is maybe symbolic? Although then it only being the woman doesn't make sense.

I would also have hated a lavish proposal.

YY to this. Our decision to marry just evolved as out relationship did. I would have been very upset if DH had done some big proposal thing, especially a public one.

Both my parents walked in to the front of our marriage room with me but they did not give me away.

I kept my name too.