Wedding 'giving away' tradition

Gosh it never occurred to me that I might be given to anyone, but we got married in a register office and I don't remember how I got to the table at the front (no video as it would have been too much fuss). We didn't have any speeches at the reception either as I didn't trust my father to be nice.

I must have forgotten that about the royal wedding. I wonder whether that prompted more uses of that optional bit?

From here
www.churchofengland.org/prayer-worship/worship/texts/pastoral/marriage/marriagenotes.aspx

I agree but as I say I have been to two weddings in the last year where it was included - one was Methodist and the other CofE

"'Giving Away'
This traditional ceremony is optional. Immediately before the couple exchange vows (Marriage here and Marriage within Holy Communion here) the minister may ask:

 	     	Who brings this woman to be married to this man?
 	 
 	The bride's father (or mother, or another member of her family or a friend representing the family) gives the bride's right hand to the minister who puts it in the bridegroom's right hand. Alternatively, after the bride and bridegroom have made their Declarations, the minister may ask the parents of bride and bridegroom in these or similar words:
 	 
 	 	N and N have declared their intention towards each other.

As their parents,
will you now entrust your son and daughter to one another
as they come to be married?

 	Both sets of parents respond:
 	 
 	 	We will."

On the current CofE service, William and Kate had the "Who giveth this woman to be married to this man" business (and Kate's dad lifted her veil before he handed her over, sorry but that's a patriachial bit too far for me.)

So is this (the giveth part) no longer a part of the service or were they just using an older version?

I walked down the aisle on my own.

It just didn't feel right for me, mainly due to the relationship I have with my parents. My dad is dead but had he been alive, I still wouldn't have done it. I left home on my 16th birthday and they just weren't interested in me from then on. I made my own life.

*wasn't a legal ceremony

The handfasting I went to had two celebrants, one man one woman, and the male celebrant led the bride and the female celebrant led the groom to each other

This was a legal ceremony though - they had married formally at the registry office and this was a blessing

I want my dad to walk me down the aisle because it'll be his bit of the ceremony. I want him to have a role and I think that's a nice one. My mum will be with me to get my dress, and we'll do other things together, so yeah it'll be nice for my Dad to have a 'thing'.

I'm a handfasting/wedding celebrant and we never do the "giving away". Of course, many dad's have always dreamed of walking their daughter down the aisle, and a similar number of brides want to make a big entrance - and why not? We ask for the blessing of the family (or families) on the union instead. We also have a lot of couples who choose to walk in as equals, and one lovely couple who liked the symbolism of the groom walking back down the aisle to meet the bride halfway.

I had the 'who gives this woman' in my CofE service. Was quite funny at the time.

Card carrying feminist here, but walking up the aisle with my dad was hands down my favourite moment of the day. I know it's antiquated but this was one instance where I honestly didn't care. He didn't "give me away" as part of the service though, in fact the current C of E service doesn't contain this bit. Instead there is a question where the priest asks if the families of the bride and groom will support and uphold the marriage. Much nicer. I have never heard the "who gives this woman?" bit at a wedding. You need to be using the old version of the marriage ceremony to include that.

The only times I've seen it not be a man were circumstances where the father had died (my cousin's dad passed away so her mum did it instead. She doesn't have any close male relatives that would have taken the role).

My friend was walked in by her grandad as she's never known/had contact with her dad. That was a very traditional wedding though.

Saying that, I haven't been to many weddings so my experience is a little limited!

My ExH did the one knee thing but DH did his in Bronte Country while we were having a weekend away. I always like the he proposed and I said business as I always felt I was in control and it was my decision.

DF would have been horrified if he couldn't walk me but first time round was a really quiet wedding which I wanted but found I would have preferred a big event which happened second time. My weddings were some time ago so tradition was still seen as normal.

Although I have been given the followed by a quite a few times when people have asked me how DH proposed and I have replied "At home, just the two of us". They feel very sad that I didn't get a grand proposal.

I was bloody relieved. DH was under strict instructions and knew that I would have been furious if he had proposed in public and would probably have said no.

Let's hope so, "DP has proposed and I've said yes" does seem a bit one-sided. Even if it was how it happened.

Well, my partner proposed to me but I dont think it matters. What matters are things like 'I keep dropping hints but he is not getting the idea I want him to propose.' Stuff like that makes my bile rise.

My DF walked me down the aisle. It was really important to him, I'm not a dad so I have no idea why it was but I didn't take any offence to it.

My DF knows I'm not his property, so there wasn't any real feeling of him giving me away. It was just a really nice 5-10 minutes before I got married in the wedding car with my dad.

You know I don't think I've ever discussed how anyone's DH proposed to them in real life. I have no idea if any of my friends' husbands did the lavish gesture, or whether they just decided. Or indeed whether the woman proposed. It just wouldn't be something I'd ask, seems like a private matter to me.

I am pretty sure that I also said "I'm engaged." And conveniently provided my own ring, given to me a few years earlier by my grandmother.

We're getting married this summer. When we announced our engagement most people expected a big romantic proposal and were disappointed when it was a fairly dull conversation about legalities. So amongst my circle the proposal is seen as a big thing.

I will definitely not be given away, I am not property! My dad won't be walking me down the aisle either, although he doesn't know that yet. I intend to walk down the aisle with dp and our DDS, as a family.

I think I said 'we're engaged'

Let's hope so, "DP has proposed and I've said yes" does seem a bit one-sided. Even if it was how it happened.

I don't think you're out of date - I would far rather it were normal to announce that way among the people I know who are getting married! I am late 20s. None of my close friends have decided to marry so far, so it may be different if/when they do.

I'm at that stage now where weddings are few and far between (late 40s, most people I know have been married a long time), it's just the occasional colleague now, so I don't hear many announcements, I may be out of date! But definitely back in the days when most of my friends were getting married it tended to be "we're getting married".