Wedding 'giving away' tradition

Throwback I disagree with yourr post!

I walked down the aisle with DH. It was in a registry office, so it was more walking into the room together. My sister did precede us, as the only bridesmaid.

I also refused to change my name unless DH did, so we merged our names.

I vocally made the point before the wedding I wasn't anyone's to "give away" so nobody said anything about it.

I absolutely hate it and, TBH, I don't respect women who are 'given away'.

I also hate it when men ask their partner's father for permission to ask them to get married.

I also hate the notion of being 'engaged'. Ladies, you are not a public toilet! I'm engaged screams to be 'this bloke wants to own me forever but we can't afford to get married right not so he's given me a ring to show the world, well mainly other menfolk, that I belong to someone'.

Sorry, totally off topic rant.
FWIW no one walked me down the Isle, and after a long and embarrassing wait the registrar asked me in a snappy manner where the bride was.
It was in the 80s BTW.

Well maybe the previous poster should stop devaluing 'womens work' make sure people who choose to do childcare - for their own or other people's children - are paid an appropriate wage and pretending that 'masculine' jobs are worth what we pay them.
Not forgetting that when enough women do these hallowed jobs they become worth less.
But I suppose if childcare was a valued role then the men would get all the jobs.

Yes, I think they were!

There may have been a touch of sarcasm in my post TheBlackRider hence the at the end.

Well as a SAHM who volunteers with two organisations obviously my DD will not want me to give a speech no matter how many lives I improve. However DD has realised if she gets married there is all the faffing about organising and wasting of good money feeding family you haven't seen for years. So I doubt I will ever have to worry there. At the moment none of my kids plan on getting married... DD as it will hurt her future career as people will expect her to have kids and she is certain that career will come first. So rather than worry about the giving away tradition it is more worrying about if any of my children will marry. Perhaps I should be grateful none of them want to?

I only mention it as an example to others. Some women think all women live off men and only earn pin money

Yes, I agree. I find the biggest issue with the FWR aboard is that they all think women live off men and only earn pin money!

And that those who have chosen to SAH certainly don't think that all women live off men.

In your job, you surely respond to the actual facts in front of you, rather than engaging auto preach. Could you show other MN posters the same respect, please?

Wow, super offensive.

You know full well that many FWR posters aren't "in the kitchen".

I only mention it as an example to others. Some women think all women live off men and only earn pin money but if you can see that plenty of mothers of the bride are the highest earners present and paying for the day then you encourage women to get out of those kitchens and do interesting high paid work!

The only part of the service that my priest told us up front that he refused to do was use the vows 'Honour and Obey'. We wouldn't have wanted to say that anyway but he said that he has refused to marry couples who wanted 'Honour and Obey' before.

My mum walked up the aisle with me. Had my DF still been alive it would've been him. I don't see it as them 'giving me away', but more coming with me to welcome DH officially into the family.

I like that you go in separately and go out together. It does make me wince slightly at it always being the woman who goes in accompanied.

Reflecting on it though, I would probably have done it differently and had both of us wait outside, then both walk down the aisle at the start - DH with one of his parents and me with my mum.

"I (mother, highest earning of the parents not that that is necessarily relevant "

And yet you mention it in nearly every post

I sometimes amuse myself picturing you writing an opinion at work;

"To my mind, and that's the mind of a woman who earnt 10x more than her husband ever did, widget A is more promising than widget B."

That campaign was started by a MNer, Lotus, she's been on here a few times re her petition - Cameron didn't come up with it himself!

www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-politics/11041636/Mothers-on-marriage-certificates-victory-Cameron-pledges-to-add-mothers-names.html

A minister friend of mine used to tell couples he was marrying that he would only do the 'giving away' bit if the bride's family brought pigs along to complete the financial transaction. Most couples changed their minds after that!

No asking permission here nor 20 years ago when I married as we are all feminists.

My daughter walked herself down the aisle at the church - yes she has legs and is not owned property.

I (mother, highest earning of the parents not that that is necessarily relevant but certainly a contributor to the cost of the day rather than a pretty non earning mother of bride there for decorative purposes) gave the only parent speech.

Felt pretty good. Pity the two mothers of the couple - top lawyer/doctor could not be named on marriage certificate and the lower earner men could! Cameron is supposed to be changing that.

Just chatted to my wife about this.. We are committed Christians and for her she says she leaves her feminist side at the door of the church. Some won't agree this this but hey ho,

Can't be very committed if she believes something different in Church to what she believes at all other times.

I don't remember discussing with our vicar whether we included the "who giveth this woman" part - different vicars may explain it differently!

I married XH in a registry office so wasn't given away. He didn't need my DF to give me away to make me feel like a controlled possession, he managed that by himself.

DF sadly died but me and DP will be getting married, I want DS1 to give me away. More as a total, 'here's my mum, this is our family' now.