Wedding 'giving away' tradition

I got married on a beach and walked with my 7 year old son so I suppose he 'gave me away'. We eloped so no parents there. If I got married here I would have still chosen my son, my dad would have probably been put out but I just don't get on with him.

If by that you mean the choice not to be given away then yes. But to make things reall equal men should have the option of being given away too. That's where it's uncomfortable for me, can you imagine the reaction of most men if they were asked whether they were going to be given away at their wedding?

Rider

No. In the traditional CofE ceremony, no one cares where the groom came from.

DP will be hanging out at the church before I finish getting ready and arrive. He'll be chatting with the vicar before the service too. I'm sure the vicar will ask him who brought him at that point during their informal chat!

I am not being "given away" I'm being walked from point A to B with my parents.

I fully appreciate that some aspects of a "traditional marriage ceremony" have evolved from the ancient notion of "ownership" but it's not like that anymore for most people.

And I'm taking his surname for future family but keeping mine for professional.

I think feminism means that we can have that choice.

I was given away by my boss. Never once did either of us feel I was an item to be given to a higher being. I find it all rather ridiculous that people feel like it is like that.

Meant 'down' the aisle obviously

My DD wants me, her mum, to give her away. I'm not comfortable with this being a feminist at heart. I'm hoping when the time comes to walk with her up the aisle but no mention of giving away.

I had a registry office wedding. We had a fair bit of choice about what was said etc. Specifically, whether I wanted "given away" - it was perfectly acceptable to be accompanied down the aisle without anything being said at the end - the person can just sit down when you reach the front.

Tbh by the time I was about to go in I was glad of some company, I felt more nervous than I expected to!

Does anyone know when the mother appearing on the marriage certificate will be rolled out? I know Cameron pledged it would happen but I'm not sure when that will actually happen..

"who Goves this woman..."

I know what you mean! I'm getting married in July- asked both my parents to walk me down the aisle. My mum said no- "it's your father's moment with you". So I'm trying to just view it as a way to recognise how much I love my dad.

So much about weddings is problematic- I had a small rant in the registry office a few weeks ago when they told me that only my dad's name will go on the marriage certificate...

Oh heavens that IS a typo

No woman deserves that

TBR I'm not sure whether that was a typo - I think she might have meant that they were not doing "who Goves this woman..."

One option in the US Episcopal Church is "Who presents this woman and this man to be married to each other?" This is what we used in our marriage service. The various parents (which included a few steps) and siblings answered together, "We do."

I got taken down the aisle by both parents as were married abroad in my parents home country and that was the tradition. I was a bit disappointed for my dad, even though I wasn't 'given away'as such, as my mum can be quite domineering and dominated all the arrangements to the point that no one (least of all me!) had a say in it. It felt like she wasn't going to let anyone else have a look in. I do feel a bit better now that it seems to be an English tradition rather than a universal thing.

"I think determining your respect for someone on the basis of their wedding is fairly bizarre tbh. There may be many reasons for people choosing what they do."

Yy.

Im getting married later this year. I am being taken down the isle by both of my parents. One either side (not a large dress!) I see their role in that part of the wedding as support for me and showing their support for the wedding.

The vicar will ask "who brings this woman" too because I am not property and we discussed this... Likewise I'm not promising to "obey"

Throwback I also disagree with your post. But then, I am in the Southern US, where the custom is for friends and families to give lots of parties for engaged couples. Didn't want to miss out on that.

Besides, as I said upthread, I provided my own engagement ring. And I think I sent a pretty clear message on not being owned by a man by keeping my name.

Throwback, I see from your posts elsewhere that you're married. Didn't you have a period of engagement, ring or not?

I absolutely hate it and, TBH, I don't respect women who are 'given away'.

Oh no, I'm desperate for your respect so that really burns.

I am huge feminist, but when I got married it was in church, in the village where I grew up and was confirmed. I had all the traditions. I really can't completely explain it and am a bit embarrassed really as it's so out of line with my views generally. My parents were amazed - but pleased. Perhaps subconsciously I wanted to please them. It was important to me that it happened in the village church where generations of my family have been baptised, married and buried, so maybe it was a question of all the traditional aspects all going together. We had the most fantastic wedding. It was perfect. Not that it did me any good, he had an affair and we're now divorced

But it still is right up there as one of the best days of my life.