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Original poster

What shouldn't men say to women about gender issues?

38 replies

QuiteIrregular · 01/05/2015 15:57

I was wondering if people would mind giving me a quick insight into a question I've had conversations about with friends recently: what are the infuriating things men who think they "get" feminism say to women? Not the straight-out anti-feminist "women have no problems in the West" or "feminism is sexist against men", but the stuff that comes from thinking they understand, but haven't really?

I put a post on my blog about this, suggesting these as a starting list I'd heard female friends complain about:

"I find strong women really attractive"
"You’re not like other girls, they’re all so obsessed with makeup and appearance and what men want. You’re different."
"Real women have curves. Those models all look like teenage boys, ugh."
Feminism is so great, but it would appeal to more people if it focused more on real equality, not just on what women want. Then it would really take off globally."
"That might have sounded sexist, but actually I’m a feminist."

People have also suggested "Are you sure he meant it like that?", "Wow, how inappropriate! I would never do thing like that!" Are there similar or equivalent things from your experience?

OP posts:
BuffyNeverBreaks · 01/05/2015 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yops · 01/05/2015 18:36

Anything Grin

sourdrawers · 01/05/2015 18:31

So blokes are incapable of really believing any of those things? Rather cold and cynical this thread, no?

ZuluInJozi · 01/05/2015 18:25

Not all men are misogynists
It's sexist to say I can't be a feminist

TeiTetua · 01/05/2015 18:14

"But she still might have consented."

JennyOnTheBlocks · 01/05/2015 18:10

'but if you're in a relationship, it doesn't matter who earns the most'

grimbletart · 01/05/2015 18:08

Here's the killer one: "As a mere man….."

AnyFucker · 01/05/2015 18:03

You should be flattered when men wolf whistle and catcall you

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 01/05/2015 17:58

"You’re not like other girls, they’re all so obsessed with makeup and appearance and what men want. You’re different."
"Real women have curves. Those models all look like teenage boys, ugh."

These two are bang on!

Will see if I can think of any more. I don't have many feminist convos in real life so probably don't hear too much of this sort of thing.

BuffyNeverBreaks · 01/05/2015 17:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BuffyNeverBreaks · 01/05/2015 17:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shaska · 01/05/2015 17:57

oooohhhh Apocalypse the logic thing sends me round the bend.

Especially as I'm actually good at logic, in the classic sense. But they never mean actual logic. They mean 'look at it like a man. like me! me!'

ApocalypseThen · 01/05/2015 17:50

"If you looked at it logically, you'd understand." There's nothing worse than dismissing someone's experience and claiming you're soon it because you've access to this special male trait.