Are women better than men at childcare?

Babycham is it not true that (some) men are "biologically programmed" to be better hunters and fighters? Whether I'm right or not I don't know but down to the differences in hormones. Men generally having higher testosterone.

Perhaps I'm wrong and outdated, not sure. I'm also not saying this has any impact on work life because there are always multiple ways to go about things.

Barbarianmum, again, a self-defeating argument. If women are 'biologically programmed' to be better careers, would you say men are 'biologically programmed' to be betters hunters or fighters? More competitive and aggressive?

If so, then maybe they are better suited to the workplace, making money, scientific discovery and innovation? Maybe then all women should give up trying and stay at home knocking out children? I'd prefer to think such a viewpoint is reactionary nonsense.

I actually think you're making a lot of sense, Yops, and it's a shame the core of your argument is largely being ignored.

Typically, and predictably, many posters on here seem to want it both ways; that women are just as good as men at absolutely everything, AND that women are better at childcare!

Ultimately, this kind of petty one-upmanship is self-defeating; you can't seriously demand absolute parity in the work-place and simultaneously expect primacy in the home. It stands to reason that if the majority of women continue to take years out of the workplace, they cannot demonstrate comparable experience and so can't demand identical levels of pay.

The logical answer would be for no retirement age, but a pension age based on years worked. Thereby, taking, say ten years out for childcare, would require ten years more paid work. This would also go some way to addressing the disparity in life expectancies (men paying far more into the 'pot', while drawing far less out, particularly post-retirement). That wouldn't be remotely popular on here though, I'll bet.

I feel the peer approval bar is lower for men than women. I frequently get condescending comments about how involved I am with DC, for a "man."

DW (and her friends) seems to think entertaining the kids should encompass a hefty amount of learning so shes trying to get the learning cards out or lets draw the solar system. Where as im happy to build a fort or play Dolls vs teddies.

Also, why am I expected to be the disciplinarian?

My mother maintains that women see around corners and men don't. I don't think that has a high probability of being true but I do think that you wouldn't bother looking if someone else was doing it.

Generally, I would say that women are more aware of potential dangers to children and are more watchful. The male attitude (generally) is that nothing is going to happen. Not intended to be a criticism of men btw.

There are very good genetic reasons why female mammals are (on average) more strongly biologically programmed to care for their young than males. Whether this translates into women being (on average) 'better' at childcare then men, I don't know. I suspect they are (on average) more intrinsically motivated but it may be quite a weak effect and certainly couldn't be reduced to 'women are better at changing nappies' or 'men are worse at playing with their children.

To be honest it is me that does less jobs overall as we have so many 'husband' jobs. by which I mean cutting down tress, using the chainsaw to cut wood, choping wood, heavy building maintenace/repairs, tractor repairs etc. My OH often does these when the kids are in bed, or in his holidays.

I wonder if a lot of the imbalance nowadays is because most men dont have this work and most have no concept that this is the 'husband' work they would have been doing in the past so dont realise how easy they have it when all that is left to do is share what use to be the wifes jobs.

Agreed.

Forcing someone to ask you to do something you should be doing anyway, is passive aggressive behaviour IMO.

No it isn't that simple. She shouldn't really have to ask should she? He should bear equal responsibility for the household chores as he lives there too.

Of course it's not the the wife's fault. It makes my friend nuts (not to mention exhausted) but it's not as simple as her asking and him doing. How naïve!

Ah, okay. Yes, everybody is responsible for their own actions. I got the wrong end of the stick.

'Only'? Isn't it more likely that it varies across different cases?

Messy saying women working full time with sahds and then doing all housework. Ridiculous.

Sorry, didn't understand that.

I'm not sure what you're saying is whose fault.

(Eh? What did she say? Wossat? )

So they are able go against the grain and have the woman as breadwinner and then don't for housework and cooking. Right

What is whose own fault rainbowdashpony?

Choices are not made in a vacuum

That is their own fault messy for letting that happen.

Bit of a tangent but I think the real issue is housework not childcare. I have known so many women who work full time but still perform the lion's share of the housework.
That is soul-destroying.

I've also known of husbands who have stayed at home to look after the children whilst the wife works full time. Each time I have expressed my happiness that things are changing, only to be disappointed that he doesn't actually do any laundry, cleaning, or anything beyond the immediate looking after of the children.

Looking after children may be easy, a privilege even, but it is the mental and physical work that goes with them that is hard.

Me and my partner both worked 50% from 2 days aftet birth and looked after the babies 50/50. Unsuprisingly we are similar in how well we can parent.
With our first we got a lot of shocked and how will he cope comments when i travelled away for work for a few days at 3 months pp. And OH would often get people treating him like he was on holiday and being shocked that he couldnt do things as he had the baby and i was at work.
But after a couple of months no one cared or found it weird anymore as its obvious we are equally good/bad at parenting.

We earn similar amounts and neither of us wants to be a shap and are agreed in no uncertain terms that going to the office is easier.