teenage girls under massive pressure to do anal :(

My father served in the Navy, he volunteered at 16 and was sent away till his 18th birthday at the end of the second world war. So I was wondering if perhaps we should stop sending any military support to anywhere in the world we currently are.

So we can stop helping fight ISIS in Syria, let the women there be controlled by a bunch of lunatics who will no doubt use a rod no thicker than a finger to discipline their wives. And of course no help to places like the Congo where warlords hack woman apart after raping them and conscript children into their armies. I am sure America would agree the war of independence was stupid and personally I am rather grateful that Nelson gave the French a beating because I was always useless at French.

There will always be people (men) who want to rule, some tribal alpha male BS but you cannot unilaterally stop fighting as there will be people out there who would take advantage. There are rights and wrongs but I guess growing up at a time when the Falklands was a real issue and the first desert war these were my realities and having parents who were involved in the second world war my view is more about stopping megalomaniacs taking over.

Well said Goats. There is no point in telling young girls that the world we live in now cares about them as people, it doesn't. What they still get from the media and even from police advice is that they are to blame if anything happens to them (though thankfully the latest attempt the police made at blaming women for rape was withdrawn - some progress at least). So yes, developing an individual sense of boundaries is important.

The tough part is that as children get older they ignore parents and start to listen to peers and the media more and more. Combating messages from those quarters is incredibly hard.

Young women need to grow up feeling society is on their side and that their safety and well being is a priority. If we're not constantly reaffirming that message where else are they going to get it from?

Sadly, it is NOT the case that society is on women's side. So girls can't be raised thinking that their safety and well-being is a social priority: it isn't.

The best thing we can do is help them grow up to think that it's ok if they make their safety and well-being their own priority, and that they have, in themselves, the strength to get into many, many scraps throughout their lives in defense of their safety, and their well-being.

Teaching them to trust their gut. To state their boundaries. To say "no" and not feel bad about saying no. To hold their own when people demand things of them that they're not comfortable with.

Because they're going to get people trying to step over their boundaries ALL their life long, whether it's teenage boys expecting anal sex as their due, or any of the rest of the wealth of experiences society throws at girls and women.

As a mum of teen girls! I feel sick whenever I think of this.

I have had a brief conversation with my eldest but need to have a more in depth chat at some point! Its a real toughy - not because I am a prude about being so graphic, but its about being honest without putting your opinions and bias on what I consider to be right,normal or something I would be comfortable doing or uncomfortable doing!

This is one conversation I am finding hard to approach which surprises me because we are pretty frank and open about all sorts in our house,especially with my eldest (16).

So do I Black Rider but I'm sick of all these ceremonies that assume sacrifice in war is a noble thing and we must all feel grateful forever more for the men who shot each other. Those poor men were sent to their death by idiots in war rooms. There is nothing to feel noble or humbled by - it is a travesty. Why are we still "commemorating" such barbarity and ignoring women's contribution to the world?

When I was a teen anal sex was frowned upon. Many people I knew were homophobic (or pretended to be homophobic to fit in) and anal sex was portrayed amongst people my age as a very gay thing to do. Nowadays with increased access to porn anal sex is seen as more acceptable and more normal and the motto 'every hole is a goal' has become commonly used. I find it quite frightening as many teens don't realise the consequences of engaging in anal sex if not done properly. I dont think teens (on the whole) are knowledgable enough to make decisions about having anal sex.
I only have boys but I will be discussing all types of sex with them before it is likely that they will be engaging in any sexual acts. It is important that we teach our children about respecting themselves and others sexually and not persuading others to do things which they are not fully willing to do and might be harmful in any way (physically or emotionally). I will not be relying on school teachers or the playground whispers to deliver this information to my sons. We need to inform our children that porn is not normal and that they should not be doing things just because everyone else says they have, because experience tells me that most teens have not done half of what they boast about.

" We're supposed to all stand and feel serious about the fact that men arranged for other men to shoot each other in the head. Give me a fucking break. "

good one dana, cannot find my 'plus' key or I would give it plus ten.

It is incredible arrogance on the part of men IMO that they start wars and then expect everyone to wail and mourn about it forever more. On the news this morning there was a thing about a memorial for the battle of Gallipoli in WWI. So we are still memorialising men's violence from 100 years ago. We're supposed to all stand and feel serious about the fact that men arranged for other men to shoot each other in the head. Give me a fucking break.

I agree that the silence around childbirth is incredible. It is changing and increasingly being shown in the media (one born every minute etc) but until very recently, childbirth and the experience of childbirth had basically no place in our media or culture. This struck me when watching Senna which had great reviews but it struck me that women go through a titanic struggle themselves - almost all of them do. But nobody makes a heroic film about that. Whereas a man whizzing round a racetrack just for competition is somehow noble and worthy of lionising.

lol let's hope, not sure about 'bags of self esteem' hak, but not the pathetic instagram addict waiting for approval depicted by that PP.

Good. Two people have now told us that their teenage daughters have sky high self confidence, bags of self esteem and would never be influenced by societal pressures to do anything they didn't want to do. Obviously feminism's work is done. Hurrah!

Totally BlackRider, and I agree that all accomplishments should be celebrated. But I think, personally, that the total silence around childbirth is just mindblowing - how do we ignore the fact that women create new life?

Cali fair enough of course you're right.

Anal sex is not new, of course it's not. What is new is it's depiction as mainstream. When I was a young woman there were pornographic novels - I think they were called "Black Lace" that we shared around and there were usually some anal sex scenes in them. But it was almost always in the context of a hugely experienced man initating a girl- usually over several chapters. Now two clicks and there is someone shoving his huge dick up some girl's arse with no foreplay and either she loves it. Or she hates it- either response seems equally acceptable.

No, I don't want to hear about war and the ways in which women were "allowed" to contribute. Women and only women do something amazing - they grow new humans and put themselves at great risk to do so. And all we ever hear about it is what the new thing is we can't eat, how fat or thin pregnant celebrities look and how mothers are failing in so many ways. How about for a second saying "wow, isn't it fucking amazing that women do this for the world?" Just for a bloody second.

" You don’t have to spend long with an insecure teenage girl (is there any other kind?) to work out that her happiness is tremulously yoked to the getting of Likes or little lovehearts on Facebook or Instagram "

sorry I am with DWH here, what condescending shyte. My dd16 does not even have instagram nor does she use fb other than for private chats with real friends/boyfriends.

Well even if you'll suffer a commemoration of wartime achievement, women did a lot in WWII, Beatrice Shilling I think it was who fixed the spitfire's design flaw that allowed it to turn and bank comprehensively.

I also remember reading a fascinating article on post war female characters in Hollywood movies being stronger, and more rounded but a steady decline in that trend as the decades rolled on.